Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Is Donald Trump The Spawn Of Satan?

Melania wore gloves ... clever little demon

Trump has had his numerous failures throughout his life including 6 bankruptcies failed Trump airlines, casino, magazine, mortgage, university, vodka, pocket pussy and his steaks were made from young runaways it seems. The FDA went nuts when they found out as that breaks some health violations or something. 

The perfect man to run America. George Washington had several military failures before becoming president and the way Washington relied on the French for victory Trump relied on his dad to bail him out ... striking similarities, they were also both quite ugly. 

Fred Trump is dead so how could his son who can't even manage to tweet the word unprecedented correctly become Precedent of the United States? 

Joel Tooley a pastor in Florida took his 11 year-old daughter to Trump's Florida Melbourne rally. He said he had the overwhelming feeling of evil there. 

"I felt like people were here to worship an ideology along with the man who was leading it."

When Melania recited the Lord's prayer it seemed theatrical and manipulative. Trump did not recite the prayer until the very last line, 'the power and the glory forever and ever, amen!'

Rather than giving Trump credit for knowing one line the pastor stood up for a couple of anti-Trump people chanting T-R-U-M-P spells bigotry and had women screaming "fuck you" in demonic voices at him and denouncing him as un-American, their faces contorted in hate and rage. 

Tooley said: "I realized that we were not listening to someone presidential, we were listening to someone terribly powerful. My kid was shaken – she had just seen some of the worst of humanity." 

Tooley was not a Trump or Hillary voter by the way.  I just wonder what the fuck he expected, it was Florida for fucks sake. As we all know Florida (the face eating state) is situated on a Hellmouth and "experts"  think that the Hellmouths in Texas and Arizona are linked to it via a deep underground cave system.

Old Knudsen went to Trump's other Florida rally that the dishonest media didn't cover. It was on Fox and Bro-Bart news but that was it.

A rally of just 600 people held in an abandoned factory the tickets were too hard to get so Old Knudsen had to sneak in. Everyone was marked by a special Trump Stamp but Old Knudsen being the initiative taking fool he is bluffed a mark to show security with a sharpie pen. I wonder what three 6's means. Area code?

Trump gave a speech that covered how big his inauguration crowd was, how the media keep making fake news up that honest General Michael Flynn had to resign as the false allegations made him cry. He denounced Hillary, the Democrats, several US businesses, Sweden, Paris, Germany, the FBI, breast feeding mothers, Meryl Streep, Gandhi, refugees who we all know are terrorists and of course the Mexicans. 

He made sure to blame the increase of hate crimes on extremist Liberals who pretend to be Nazi fucks to give Trump followers a bad name. Trump has the best Nazis, tremendous! ... Terrific Nazis!

When Trump took off his face and revealed his true demon nature the crowd didn't seem to mind. I think all Trumpflakes know in the back of their minds that he is evil and Bannon, Tillerson etc will destroy the US but they've made their choice. As long as they are the last to go they don't care.

There was a bright flash of light and everyone with the mark of the Trump vanished, demon Trump licked his lips and looked at those left behind, just security, staffers and Old Knudsen. 

They grabbed me and Trump said "Knudsen we meet again, I shall kill you but first hear my origins story and evil plan."

Old Knudsen rolled his eyes, it was getting near to lunch and his sugar level was getting low. 

 What Trump would look like without demonic magic

"For years I've failed, only to be bailed out by my father, he kept me safe when I was banging under aged girls and snorting rooms full of coke. When he died I was all alone. Then Satan sent his Russian demons to claim me, they gave me money and hookers with full bladders. All I had to do was sell my soul as my father had done before me."   
Old Knudsen wasn't really paying attention as he was starting to get cranky and the label on the neck of his shirt was a little itchy. 

"Satan gave me my youth and my hair back, he gave me the power to do and say anything without people doing anything to stop me. I could also sway the feeble minded to do my bidding, how else do you think an unqualified semi-failure of a businessman whose only real sucess is a reality TV show could become President?"

"No one will miss these 600 souls and since no one reads your blog and you get ghosted on Twitter and Face Book no one will miss you either." 

He came towards Old Knudsen his tiny hands stretched out. Fuck this I was missing lunch. The anger of a low sugar level gave Knudsen the strength of 5 men ... 5 big men. He broke free of the security guards and flung a large 400 LBS guard towards Trump. 

There was a snacks table but you never eat or drink anything at a Trump rally or you'll be trapped there ... everyone knows this. 

Upon making my escape I jumped into my El Camino and raced to a Taco Bell. I had called 911 and had them have ready a couple of Burrito supremes and several soft chicken tacos

When you are close to death as I had been today you learn to enjoy life more. I never want to be that close to death ever again so I'll always carry snacks. Oh the demons ... ach sure that was scary too.   

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