Monday, 27 February 2017

Lip-Stick For Cunts

"Have you ever woke up with your lips stuck together? It didn't hurt and was kind of fun . All you had to do was wet your lips from the inside with saliva and they became unstuck."

Ever lie in bed after one of those dreams in which you eat a lot of dick and just think how much the mouth is like a vagina? It has lips, teeth and poo cums out of it just like a vagina.

Daniel Dopps a failed doctor Chiropractor from Kansas thinks about cunts all the time. More so than so-called Christian politicians and celibate men in dresses at the Vatican. He is beyond the baby thing though cos he is into blood. Blood is life!

I'm a cunt .... specialist

He is annoyed that men seem to have no say in the goings on with vaginas (even though men make up all the laws) because he himself owns a vagina ... well his wife looks after it but it's his ...  by state law.

He says that a neighbor who was a bit of a dirt bird kept her tampon in her twat too long and got blood poisoning that caused her to lose her legs. He had already thought about the neighbor's cunt long and hard even after her legs has gone. 
She'd leave red trails all over the sidewalk when she went out for a drag and so Dopps came up with a way to help her with her periods and maybe make some money and get a look at her snatch. 

Or at least validate his browser history ... it's research damn it!

 A pussy purse to keep all that blood money in.  

A Chiropractor is like a masseur with some first aid training, unlike the UK in the US it is regulated and you do have to train for it. Googling isn't a part of the training though. 

He says that there is no knowledge of how women dealt with their periods 200 years ago so therefore he decided that then they must have naturally secreted a substance that sealed their cunt shut.   

With that in mind they obviously evolved over that 200 years and now use pads and their brains have grown enough for them to vote and make proper modern sandwiches ... but not to become president, baby steps luv. 
Pads and tampons meant they didn't have to excrete the fanny batter as much and only gushed when Old Knudsen enters the room ... ask yer mom. 

As usual weemen complicate things by mentioning the uterus or cervix whatever those are but Dopps keeps it simple. 
You apply this lip stick to yer fanny lips and with its natural combination of amino acids and oils it sticks the lips together ...simples! 

You can roller skate, hang glide, mountain climb even on yer period. You can wear sexy white cotton panties and pole dance if you want to. 

He believes that weemen didn't come up with this cos their brains are fucked up because of periods ... poor luvs. Weemen are usually too busy plotting the death of all males or thinking of how to make their lives a living Hell to really have intellectual thoughts. 

Hey you ate the apple in the Garden of Eden, don't project yer guilt onto us! 

It's not a crazy idea cos when the woman pees it breaks the seal... So wait, the blood up there doesn't break the seal just the pee? .... ach my head is hurting just fucken believe it. 

Jen Gunter, a San Francisco OB/GYN and all round Debbie Downer wonders if Dopps has even seen a labia up close. 

A typical stench trench

I don't know what the fuck a labia has to do with cunts but that's a typical menstruating woman's response.  She said applying glue could cause abrasions or even make it grow together. 

She said it was all a little far fetched. 

Gunter pointed out how vadge's move all throughout the day so if you crossed your legs or shifted in yer seat the levee would break and you'd have another Katrina event ... not her exact werds cos I don't even think she is a real doctor, unlike Dr Dopps the pussy doctor who vaginas all the fucken day. 

In history ancient Romans used wool tampons dipped in opium. Egyptian women used softened papyrus for tampons. The Greeks used tampons rigged out of lint wrapped around small pieces of wood. Paper, moss, wool, animal skins, moss and grass were used in other parts of the world. 

Dopps who is a man and calls himself a doctor (PhD in geography counts) so therefore can be trusted has said that it works and has tested it on his daughter. Not even an erect penis or lap dances can break the seal. 

 Yer Ma!
He has suggested that if you were to use it to have yer vagina teeth removed as some can be quite sharp and might break the seal. You could probably keep yer molars in though. 

I wonder if say the Octo Mom tried it a little would it tighten her up a bit. It would have to be a big bit though.

Mensez or Rag stick as it was almost called hasn't gone into production yet and is just waiting on some man with great insight to fund it.  


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