Thursday, 15 December 2016

Trump Steps Down

President elect Donald Trump took to the stage then shocked the world's press by taking off his face to reveal that all along he had been wearing a mask.

Charles Peterson an performance artist from Florida has now admitted that "Donald Trump" doesn't really exist and is the greatest piece of performance art ever.

"I invented Trump 50 years ago and even went as far as hiring a pair of hobos to be my parents. I wanted to see how far I could go." 

Peterson is now in talks to have a movie made about his life.

"I made him totally ridiculous and got him to be a total dick, I didn't think anyone would actually take him seriously never mind electing him to the White House."

"I made friends with pedos and talked about sexually assaulting women, dating my daughter and they still kept voting for me and agreeing with me. What's wrong with you people?  I really did consider going out to 5th street and shooting someone just to see what would happen, I even had a gun in my pocket as I drove round town thinking about it."

Being Trump for so long has effected his life in terrible ways.

"I can only get erect by watching myself as Trump in the mirror and shouting about how great I am. Also I'm millions of dollars in debt, that's why I never pay anyone that works for me."  

Peterson wants the US to look at itself and possibly stop being so mean and racist.

"I was going to pardon Charles Manson and make him a special adviser but now I'm stopping cold, it's like a drug. I just want to do more and more crazy shit like destroy the economy by tweeting about American companies getting their contracts cancelled ... lol!"  

Even after this news no one still wants to elect Hillary so Mike Pence will become the new President. Pence is expected to spend the holidays scouting out locations for his interment camps of liberty.
There will also be a large cross erected on the White House lawn to show the world that the US is a Christian nation and the phrase 'love it or leave it' will be put into the Pledge of Submission Allegiance.  

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