Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Make America Inaugreat Again

On the 20th January 2017 something great will happen, something inaugreat! Donald Trump will be sworn in as the 45th President of the United States of America, the greatness nation in the world.

Trump is a man of the people so he'll do away with all those rich pampered A-list stars and go straight for the D-list and below.

A whose who of mental illness D-list stars are expected to be there to give the event much needed star power and dignity.

Jon Voight
Scott Baio
Gene Simmons
Stacey Dash
Ted Nugent
Dean Cain
Kid Rock
Jesse James
Mike Tyson
Stephen Baldwin
Gary Busey
Dennis Rodman
Lou Ferrigno
Hulk Hogan
Tila Tequila
Wayne Newton

Unfortunately no musical performers in that list though. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir has been a last minute substitution after a plane carrying the Russian military army's official choir crashed into the Black sea. 

The Radio City Rockettes were concerned for their pussies and would rather destroy their careers than perform for the misogynistic asswipe. Even when you are as rich and good looking as Trump is there will still be some rejection from the opposite sex .... I bet they are all leezers. 

Performers like Elton John, Bruce Springsteen and Katie Perry will not be there .... duh!

Trump will not swear on the Bible because his own word should be good enough he says. Here is an excerpt of his swearing in monologue he plans to do. Like Saturday Night Live but funny and not pathetic he says.

"My dear American people, I humbly stand here as the 45th I say again THE 45th FREAKING PRESIDENT! of my great nation. I will be a kind and fair ruler with the best, richest and loyal people in charge. None of us know what we're doing but did Jesus know what he was doing at first?"

"I'm not saying I'll use nukes my first week, maybe I will but Europe is full of terrorists, cuntries like London and Paris have whole parts under Shania law, taco carts on every corner. It's not all about me wanting to blow stuff up, in the spirit of working together I will withdraw all troops from Germany, Turkey and the South Gyna seas for no reason except cos I'm a nice guy, everybody says it."

Old Knudsen for one is very hyped that ghey hating Mike Pence Donald Tremendous Trump is soon to be preez. I also give thanks that I'm not American, ethnic, female or Muslim ... If I was either of those things I'd have an operation STAT! 

The US navy is the only branch of the services protected by the Constitution, it has been rumored that Trump has been seeking advice to cut back on soldiers in order to drain the swamp .... in other words stop the over spending of the government.  Eastern Europe has a surplus of soldiers who will work for less, just an idea he's been toying with.   

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