Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Good Riddance 2016

The pic updated a little to accommodate the new peeps and to get rid of Lemmy 

Lemmy died in 2015 so quit attributing his death to 2016. More stars than usual died this year mostly because those with careers spanning 30 - 40 or whatever years got older or got cancer like everyone is bound to get someday. 
If only big pharma would let us all smoke pot as stoners say that cures everything. Glue sniffers say it's a big bag of evo-stick that can cure everything . Old Knudsen says a good dump is the cure to all.  

For many celebs their best and creative years had past. Bowie was making average kind of songs but Alan Rickman was still doing movies and Anton Yelchin still had his best to come, he'd made some good movies besides Star Trek, he did Odd Thomas and Green Room, unlike Nicolas Cage (who is sadly still alive) he could pick good movies to be in. He was only 27 ffs.

People like Prince who die from an accidental prescription drug overdose .... you win the Darwin award for fucks sake. Janet Reno, Arnold Palmer, Shimon Peres went and people said 'shame' but when  Nancy Reagan died it was all about how she treated gheys and her friend Rock Hudson. At least a day of outrage for her. 

Alan Thicke who is more an American thing died of a heart attack while playing hockey aged 69 so yeah, Darwin awards all round. Yeah he's the father of the guy that promotes sexual assault while ripping off other songs, like Donald Trump without the songs ... ach the lines are blurred, just ask Julian Assange about that.    

Hail Hydra Gary! 

Florence Henderson the Brady Bunch mom and Garry Shandling had heart attacks though not together in some kind of celeb sex thing though that would be awesome.   

Gene Wilder had Alzheimer’s disease. Yes Young Frankenstein was amusing but a lot of his stuff was bleh. Maybe I'm on offensive territory by saying Blazing saddles was shite but hey 90% of Monty Python is shite too but it's not (old people cool) to admit that. 

Like people that think it's cool to like Snarknado and other terrible movies that should never have been made. Yeah yer standards are low, is that the new cool? 

 Harper Lee who wrote books on how to kill birds or something died in her sleep aged 89. If you die in yer sleep then how will you know yer dead? Won't you be going through the after life saying, "this isn't real it's a dream" ... what a horrible way to go. 

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died from natural causes aged 79 ... well we all know that Hillary had him killed which is shite cos she still lost the election though she'll always win my erection. 

Keith Emerson, the keyboardist who founded Emerson shot himself .... and the world went Emerson???? who dat? 

Kenny Baker who was R2 D2 died, overrated singer musician Leonard Cohen carked it too and all the pretentious people of the world suddenly became fans. Merle Haggard died and no one pretended to be a fan of him. 

Glenn Frey from the Eagles died of complications from rheumatoid arthritis and pneumonia aged 67. 

Zsa Zsa Gabor is slapping people up in Heaven now. 

The US has its famous people that no one that hasn't lived there has heard of as does the UK. Rick Parfitt from the dodgy and uncool rock band Status Quo died from complications with an existing shoulder injury. 

They performed at Band Aid and had many crappy hits in the UK. Not very health conscious but that's the rock 'n' roll lifestyle for you. I thought his band mate Francis Rossi would have died first, he's the one that had a part of his septum fall out due to cocaine. 

Ronnie Corbett was a little, funny Scottish bloke that was a part of the whole British comedy revolution just before Monty Python was created. He became part of a double act with Ronnie Barker and are ingrained into British culture. Like many double acts one always dies leaving the other to find new work. He had a hit TV sit com and was even in Extras with Ricky Gervais in a hilarious episode at an awards show. 

Ronnie Corbett, David Bowie and George Michael were all featured in Extras ... makes you think huh. The curse of 2016. Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen are crapping themselves.

Corbett who had been in the original Casino Royale movie died aged 85.  

Other British/Irish TV and radio legends were Terry Wogan,Victoria Wood and magician Paul Daniels.

Alan Rickman's last role was in the movie Eye in the Sky about the moral issue surrounding drones and whether or not the collateral (innocent people and children) damage is worth it. He'll also be remembered as a dick-less angel, a magical teacher and every Christmas he'll be watched falling off a building, Yippee ki-yay! 69 is still too young an age to go at. 

This was a completely made up figure and no one intended to fund the NHS

As well as the celebrity deaths we also had Brexit. 52% of the UK voted to leave the EU and even though they were fooled and lied to about why we should leave the EU they stood by their vote and told those who didn't like being lied to suck it up and stop whining. 

Saying it's democracy doesn't make it right or acceptable, that's just like using, 'it's in the Bible' as a reason. 
The UK has always had control over its borders, the EU is not to blame.

It was a time of people being angry, stupid and racist. Propaganda similar to what the Nazis used was on the side of buses. Britain was somehow going to be great again by persecuting minorities and leaving the world's largest economy. The rest of the world laughed at how stupid we were for this vote and guess what? We still haven't left the EU but now have an unelected Prime Minister who would never have won an election. She gets David Cameron's almost full term thanks to the timing of a referendum that no one asked for. 

Politician Jo Cox was murdered this year because she supported the Remain in the EU campaign. Hate crimes against immigrants increased, just coincidence I'm sure.

Luckily for the UK the US is bigger and better at being the laughing stock of the world. We had almost forgotten the 8 years of Bush that damaged the reputation of the US but now a draft dodging, unqualified, dodgy businessman who loves to sexually assault women and possibly rape underage girls got elected as President.  

Hate crimes against immigrants increased, just coincidence I'm sure.

As like Brexit he lied and got the idiot voters riled up and had help from Russian unknown hackers who hacked the DNC and published all the dirty secrets about pushing out the new messiah Bernie Sanders. He isn't going to jail Hillary, repeal Obamacare and his wall will be more of a partition with speed bumps and maybe keep out signs.  

Drain the swamp? He slags off American companies that have government contracts and a single irresponsible tweet has them losing billions. He fills his cabinet with rich people and bankers, who the fuck ever thought that a millionaire (he's not a billionaire, wise up) would ever give a voice to Joe the average working class slob? 

Anyone with a bit of self-respect that didn't like having a joke for President were told to suck it up and stop whining ... yeah I just copy and pasted that bit from the Brexit stuff above, the same mentality.

It was indeed a year full of stupidity. People wanted to wear badges that said they didn't vote for Bexit or for Trump for fear of being thought of as a douchebag.   

Florist Barronelle Stutzman who refused to sell flowers for a ghey wedding in 2013 as it went against her Christian beliefs went to the Supreme court, it has to still make a ruling. Ashers who refused to sell a cake in support of ghey marriage because of their Christian beliefs were told to wise up by the Supreme court. 

Indiana passed a bill under Governor Mike Pence to discriminate against gheys and Trans gender people, Pence has since become Vice President, shit does float to the top. Yes it's been a year of poor wee Christian persecution, the largest religion in the world is surely a victim of evil. 

Of course there was terrorist attacks, Nice, Orlando, Berlin as well as all the usual places. Just enough to keep people who have never experienced terrorism in a state of fear enough to hate refugees. 

2016 was the year of being a total gullible semi-Nazi pussy. The biggest casualty was people's sense of humor. They lapped up the fake news sites that feed into their fears and passed it on without checking to see if it was true or not. White supremacists got re-branded as Alt-Right and Diet-Right.     

        If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you
   If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too

Celebs you didn't know died, shit happened that you weren't a part of took place and now folks look to 2017 with hands trembling.

The future is always uncertain, change is the only thing that is consistent. As with all the other years, another new year and another load of crap.

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