Tuesday, 4 October 2016

The Horror Of Social Media

Mysterious serial killing spirit type guy Kevin Kinders, friends people on social media and never LIKEs their posts. Sometimes he leaves weird comments that have nothing to do with the post so the poster reads and re-reads wondering if there's a point or joke they are just not getting. "I can't just not respond to this as I've responded with witty banter to all the others ... FML."

Every year on the day that his whole family was murdered by a psychotic hobo that abducted and raised Kevin he mysteriously posts a whole string of Youtubes of songs that only he enjoys but thinks everyone else should. He also doesn't care that his political posts about putting vets before Muslims or any other brown person makes him look like a twat.

Chelsea Manning is a vet .... I'll just leave that there for them to get worked up over. 

OMG it's like you know my entire life, who are you, NSA, FBI, Instagram? 

Remember when horror movies had some crazy dude chasing half naked teens with a knife? It was usually the plucky chick that lived in the end. Now because they've done knives, chainsaws and finger blades the public want something they can more relate too .... so bring on the lame.

Blaire Lily notices Skankhunt42 user name on her chat list but she or any of her friends didn't invite them. Soon Skankhunt42 starts killing Blaire's friends and manipulates them with humiliating videos and screen shots of drunken posts complaining about those fucken Jews ..... they start all the wars you know, just ask Hitler or Mel Gibson.  

Yeah ok people, which one of you cunts who claim innocence set up a fake profile? 

Glock is Austrian not German ....like there's a difference.

Wouldn't it be awesome if Gibson played an LA cop but like Hitler? 'I'm not stopping you for being black, I'm stopping you for being one of the inferior races, I also harass gheys, gypos and intellectuals that wear glasses.... I'm just doing my job for the Father Homeland security.' 

I think in this climate of far right being all right that this movie is needed. I would certainly watch the shit out of it, but on DVD if I saw it in the bargain bin with the Will Smith movies. 

I'll never pay full price for a Mel Gibson movie ever again, it's principle. Also his acting is kinda one note. When he was better looking and less crazy his acting was way better .... odd that. 

Back to Unfriended. Horror movies now deal with real issues than un-killable dudes with knives. Inmagine the horror if you lost some Interweb FRIENDS!!!! Yeah they took offense at something you said and instead of telling you they slope off and maybe block you or you realise they unfriended you 3 months later when you see them commenting on a friend's post .... what dicks.

If some unknown force started killing my social media friends I'd have to get more .... you douche bag Skankhunt42, I was this close to getting titty pics. Might I suggest yer next victim, this cunt lurks and never likes my posts. Well that's not true he liked my one post that looked like it was anti-immigrant but was really irony, I don't think he got it. 

Another movie dealing with the horror of losing people you don't really know. Friend Request. Laura has 800 friends until a vengeful spirit sends her a friend request that she accepts then it starts to kill them. It's not bad enough that evil spirits are out there lurking in old murder houses, basements and the dark in general but they are also online.
How does a spirit pay for its Interweb connection and don't they have anything better to do than look at cat pics and typing OMG ROFLAO?

The Belfast Telegraph did some excellent reporting of DUP politician and homophobe Jim Wells being targeted by evil online spirits from Russia trying to trap a man into marrying them.

Yes he got a spam e-mail and yes the Bel Tel did use that as a story. That blog on paper has gone out of its way to paint bitter, bigoted people like Wells and Ruth Patterson as nice normal people. Yes Jim, resign over homophobic remarks caught on video then months later deny them and the Bel Tel will do a piece about you looking after yer ill wife.
The evil Russian spirit claimed to be looking for a slapup man as she was a goodish woman with lots of love to give.

Wells who went bankrupt last year after his business dealings with a Nigerian prince fell through wants the public to be aware of random women trying these scams and how if they were capable of disobeying the Lord's law in the garden of Eden then they are capable of anything but that he is no fool and will not fall for these scams.

     No, not my WiFi connection .... I need the validation!

I think there have been movies called The Lurker and The Follower, not sure if they are about social media.  There was this horror flick called You've got mail ... I still have nightmares about that one. 

Some other titles can be:


You've been poked

Poke back

Unable to post

This page is no longer available

Cat Pics

I am following you

Dislike button

Friend of friends

Privacy settings have changed

List cull

What about an evil spirit that posts how you are going to quit Social media or cull their friends list every other fucken week. Or ones that love talking about dead children so they see nothing wrong with a Social media feed full of pictures of bombings .... I always click LIKE or comment with LOL .....  just to be social like.

Remember folks that is you see any breastfeeding pics to go behind yer so-called friend's back and in accordance to Sharia law report them for being explicit. 

These are nice boobies but ya know what Old Knudsen doesn't have saved in his Best wanks folder? Yep breast feeding pics. It's just feeding a baby ffs. 


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