Monday, 8 August 2016

Olympic Fun In The Jungle

Pitbull (I don't really know this guy) opened the RIO Olympics with his song taste it good bitch. 

Is everyone as glued to the Rio Olympics as I am? When I say glued I really mean sticky as any Pornhub viewing red blooded male associates Rio with chicks with big oiled butts getting triple penetration by the pool as 10 others look on as they tug their lads. 

"Old Knudsen, yer such a pre-vert, how dare you judge others by yer own standards" .... wha? angry random citizen voice in my head. 

That reminds me, got to get my barber to shave my nuts.    

Explain this then. I found this image on yer computer .... er my computer, fuck these voices, they startle and confuse me. Am I you are you me then who are the invisible time travelers that watch me at the foot of my bed as I sleep? .... I always have my fake eye open recording just in case. 

So Olympics .... quit getting side tracked. 

I like the barely legal events. 

I usually only watch the female events because I like seeing weemen do well, glass ceiling and all. Oh I watch the male diving cos how do those banana hammocks stay on then when they hit the water? 

You won't have heard of Hugo Parisi, if he was serious about his "sport" wouldn't he shave his body hair? He's a Brazilian diver that enjoys long walks on the beach and pumping chicks by the pool ... sometimes he just watches and spits on his cock. 

Old Knudsen has shaved all his body hair because all that back hair really does slow you doon. 

The female ass grab event was intense, once pinned to the ground they start making out as Careless Whisper is blasted out over the speakers and then cums the strap on round. When did ass grab become a sport, maybe I should give it a go. I'm always doon at the YMCA on ass grab night .... that's any random night when they least expect it BTW. 

What do you mean I only watch it to perv out. You want me to watch muscle men in Lycra with their huge packages bouncing about? Those that personally know Old Knudsen knows his troubles. For years I've battled with the demon drink, drugs, Skittles and fornication. Tempt not least ye be tempted yerself ... oh ok, I'll just do a little. I can quit at any time ya know.

What a terrible shape Old Knudsen would be if he was a poofter too? Ya have to draw the line somewhere. If I was in prison, in the military or on a long sea voyage with Danell Leyva he wouldn't stand a chance, his back doors would get so destroyed that when he does his gymnastics he'd leak bum gravy everywhere. 

So no, Old Knudsen refuses to be ghey, me pastor says it's sinful and that child molesting fuck knows all about sin. To quote him, "do as I say, not as I do" I'd report him to the police but he reminded me about the pastor/flock confidentiality thing.  My hands are tied ... like yon mail courier in me shed. 

Knocking one out because Captain America is fighting Iron man isn't ghey so quit judging me. Oh look Winter soldier turned up ... hey mind if I join in? I'll use my robot arm, it's like a stranger is doing it.

The Rio Olympics has a serious side. While half the cuntry is starving the government built the Olympic stadium and village at great expense in the jungle. How do you shoot street urchins and protesters without the media seeing it? Vans snatching people to do the job elsewhere is what is needed. Is it really a crime if it doesn't make it to social media? 

Being European the loud bangs that guns make frightens me so I hope they do humane things like put a plastic bag over their heads or slit their throats in the bath tub. You don't have to worry about ISIS, they were on Twitter complaining how much tickets cost .... better get selling that oil and those young gurls then.

Zika virus is also a concern so they enlisted the help of the Ghostbusters .... all female of course because um that glass ceiling thing. Native Americans Muslims Asians Blacks of course weemen get such a rough deal in life I'm glad to see that the US leads the way with the werld's first ever leader. It's sad that it took the 21st century to make it happen. 

Margret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, Erna Solberg, Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović, Saara Kuugongelwa-Amadhila, Ameenah Gurib-Fakim, Bidhya Devi Bhandari, Beata Szydło, Hilda Heine, Aung San Suu Ky, Tsai Ing-wen,Sheikh Hasina, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, Simonetta Sommaruga to name a few oh and Dilma Rousseff, the President of Brazil

I golf and date out of my league, no wonder I'm laughing.   

Rory McIlroy refused to participate in the Rio Olympics because of Zika and because golf is not a real sport and he says it's boring as fuck. The Northern Ireland playa says that he can stay at his home in Florida and catch Zika. 

If you watch the Olympics to see who wins then yer just sad fuckers. I may watch for all the wrong reasons just to see those well formed hard bodies or just to chuckle every time I hear the name 'Ennis' but at least I watch. 

Disclaimer: Old Knudsen does not really watch the Olympics and has been masturbating to last year's events due to an incorrect Google search.    

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