Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Gaddafi Wasn't That Bad

When the US started bombing Libya again I went all hipster and pointed out how I had bombed Libya when it wasn't so mainstream. Gaddafi had been funding terrorists and blowing up West Berlin nightclubs and killing innocent people which was wrong so we loaded up our F-14 Tomcats and bombed the fuck out of some villages military facilities that were probably making nukes or chemical bombs, we didn't care, it was the 80's.

One dogfight I had, my Cocker Spaniel lost an eye to a savage Libyan Rottweiler so I put one of Gaddafi's Mig - 23's  into the Mediterranean. 

     Lone wolf and his navigator Duck

I don't like to talk about those days as too many people glorify war. War is ugly, mean and nasty gets every where even when you think you were careful but then a month or two later you get that call and asked what you intend to do about it ..... aye war is hell. 

So I was training at Miramax Top Gun base, flying all the fighters and teaching the Young Guns like Charlie and Emilio how to do things. Iceman would tell them all that they were dangerous ... he did that a lot. 

Charlie denied he had aids but we could see it behind his ear and he could hear fuck all when his batteries ran out. I hear he got some nasty illness in later years from a tiger blood transfusion, bless the lad.  

I flew F-14's in fact I flew 1 all the way to 18, ach they now have F-35's I can't keep track, it's as bad as Microsoft updates. I also flew the M-60 to Manchester and the A-4 ring binder fighter. 

We were sitting in class waiting for our new instructor Sam to arrive. I was a little hung over after an all night mission ... sorry it's classified. I sat there thinking of all the good men we had lost. Duck asked, "well where did you last see them?" That's never fucken helpful, fuck away aff. They'll turn up in some form probably. 

As it was the 80's I had just lit my 47th fag it was 8am I was cutting back and didn't want to peak to 100 before 9am.  I wasn't addicted though, I could quit at any time.

After injecting some Heroin I heard the clacking of high heels. 

Yes, in an unexpected twist Sam was actually a pretty lady. Wow I needed a few lines after that blew my mind. 

Our eyes met and she said in a husky sexy voice, "You're call sign Lone Wolf, I've read your file" I wanted to play it cool and professional so I replied, "well if you've read my file you'll know I have IBS so try to keep yon class short love, oh and when's the tea break?"       

Back in the 80's I was a lady killer though no hard evidence was ever found. As you can see from the pictures I was young and hot. I'm still a tad smouldering but then I had me youth. 

Trying not to be over cum with lust she said, "tell me about the Mig"  ... ach not that again. I was drunk and thought it was a crazed woman with grunting tourettes .... and it was dark too, the farmer was well compensated for fucks sake. 

Oh the Mig. 

I miss Gaddafi, sure he paid at least 20% of the population to spy on each other and he funded global terrorism but at least he made the trains run on time. When he was a young officer me Ma had him over for tea and he loved her table cloth. He said, "some day I'll rule Libya and will wear clothes just like this fabric" .... inspirational huh. 
He had an irrational fear of being sodomised with a bayonet that Ma found hilarious and that shows you that what you fear most will meet you halfway and sometimes up the hole.  

I told Sam the Mig story, she says my jumping out and punching the other pilot was made up and not at all based in reality. Duck was reading at the time and missed the whole thing but it happened. 

People that do ... do. Those that can't do teach. She may have been hot as you can see from the pic but her tea making skills were very substandard and that right there is a total turn off. 

I couldn't drink it and thus lost that loving feeling. I stopped being a Naval Aviator when it went all PC and you couldn't bomb desert wogs on a whim anymore. Now spotty teenagers hopped up on energy drinks do it all from their X-box, they don't even have to get out of bed for fucks sake. 

Now when I fly it's usually from huffing paint thinners but I'm no addicted.   


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