Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Not So Nice In Nice

Women that go make up free or who are just ugly need to be covered. 

There has been a row about Muslim women on French beaches wearing Burkinis. Now I don't understand why a woman would want to wear one but then again sock and sandals ....What the fuck? Leopard print and skinny jeans .... why?

In France's attempt to fight against Sharia law that tells everyone how and what they should be doing it introduced laws telling everyone how and what they should be doing.

A woman lying in the sun on a beach while her kids splash about in the water, she had no intention of swimming, parents do this shit so their kids can play ya know ... not so fast. Call the cops she looks like a terrorist.
The French had a ban on burkinis because that is what all the terrorists wear when they drive their trucks through crowds and open fire at concerts .... um no.

That anti-burkini law has since been suspended but I doubt all towns will follow that. 

Now that I have my burkini on you will all die for not being Muslims and the Muslims will die for not being  terrorists ... it's complicated but you'll all die and I'll be rewarded when I'm dead. Stop laughing and die already.

Take that off or we'll haul you in. A woman snoozing on the sand was deemed a public menace because her arms were covered. I don't know about you but the public shaming of weemen makes me hard, that and bestiality, necrophilia and ghey porn obviously.  

Four armed police officers called out for one unarmed peaceful sleeping woman out with her kids. Hey France, I think I know why yer crap at stopping terrorist attacks. It's the law and the officers have to enforce the law, as the wise SS guard said, "we were just doing our job."  

Burkini clad terrorists on the beach. 

Just look at these terrorists, laughing about beheading infidels or something. Make them strip!!!!  Fucken religious fanatics and their crazy ways. I demand to see yer woman's big dirty pillows, it's the law!

This poor lass was beheaded just after this pic was taken.

The deputy mayor of Nice, Rudy Salles said in an interview that nuns would also be forbidden on beaches as such symbols of religion belong in the home or the church, not on the street. 

Bishop Nunzio Galintino took time out of oppressing women and fondling boys to say "It's hard to imagine that a woman [in a burkini] who enters the water is there to carry out an attack."

 Men are not subject to any religious oppression because we rock. 

France is full of shit, I didn't change my profile pic after any attack nor did I claim to be Charlie. They have an immigration problem there is no denying that because they are close to the places they are bombing the fuck out of. Cause and effect, the displaced people are going to go somewhere, either bomb the right people or rebuild their countries. 

If you don't do any of that then you have a moral duty to help those you made homeless. If you don't and you treat them like shit then you'll have more problems duh. 

What Old Knudsen sees here is bigotry. Bigotry against Muslims and brown people because they have a different language and culture. Since impotent France can't do anything about Islam extremists it picks on an easy, soft target ... women. 
 Bill cheats yet Hillary gets the blame.

Women get judged on so much, not pretty enough, not young enough, not slim enough.... she cleared her throat she obviously is too sick to be president. A bad mood? must be her period. 

Gog forbid a celeb goes out without make up on, the Daily Mail would have a shit fit. 'tired and haggard star must have aids.'   

The Magdalene laundry's for single mothers in Ireland. The women would be paraded to shame them for being single mothers while the fathers .... no where to be seen, not their sin. 

Will France be telling Jews to remove their skull caps and vicars their collars? What about someone wearing a cross? Sorry you can't use a hammer to hammer that nail in, the hammer was a symbol for Thor and thus religious ....  as for nails, "For Christ's Sake!" .... nope, you can't say that either.
Lets remove all the calendars and rename the offending days and months named after gods. Thursday will now be called Trumpday ... and it will be tremendous, the best day ever.  

Now it's time I tell you how you should be thinking. Someone wearing a burka, burkini, habit, or silly hat isn't subjecting me to their religion. If they knock on my door or stop me in the street to tell me about their god then they need a punch to the throat. 

   Fucken religious fanatics.

This is imposing their beliefs onto me. This is insulting and needs to be stopped. Someone at the beach covered up might be body conscious and it took a lot for them to go out or maybe they just don't want to get burned. 
In a burkini they will probably keep to themselves and their families because that's what you do. Going up to someone and saying how offended you are by what they are wearing is your problem so go fuck off cos no one wants to know.     

Old Knudsen doesn't agree with many mythologies that people take oh so seriously that they'll kill for them. If you take it as historical fact and ignore reason and sense then you probably have mental health issues but who doesn't? As long as you don't kill, bully or oppress others then you can believe what sky fairy shite you want, I don't care.... just try not to breed. 

Typical headscarf wearing Musolim extremist.

Religion gives people hope that their 80 odd year existence means more than just eating, sleeping, shitting and repeat. It can help you not feel not so helpless when you are helpless by praying or sending your good thoughts and intentions to those that need help. It can help you not feel so alone. 

It can help those that don't think too much be better people though went they take it too literally it tends to turn them into total assholes. 

Wear what you want and when you want to. Fuck those that force you to conform because of their issues. If you aren't bothering anyone or purposely being insulting them then go for it. 

You can't please everyone so don't bother trying. Who cares if yer picture ends up on the People of Wal-Mart site? 

There is evil brewing in the world, we westerners blame the Muslims or immigrants even though we're very much to blame for a lot of our own problems. You can't fight evil with evil as then you'll be swallowed whole and will end up like Gollum. We must fight evil and injustice by being better than it.  

Monday, 29 August 2016

Got Droids?

A long time ago in a galaxy far far ..... well it was quite far away, you get the idea. I was a young man who wanted to travel the werlds and meet new people and subject them to the rule of the Empire.

The Empire was a vast socialist movement that wanted rid of the pampered monarchs that wanted the rule the people and lizard like things etc. The Empire had universal healthcare that was universal ... literally. It had a good education system and free university but the royalists wanted their inbred princess to rule, we called her followers Rebel scum. Now that I'm older I regret the rebel shaming  but back in those days tempers were high and our socialist Emperor Bernie Corbyn wanted them destroyed as the fuckers refused to pay more tax being royalty an all. 

   Cum at me space bro!

When I went to these various mining colonies and outposts looking for droids people would say, "aren't you a little short to be a Storm Trooper?"  with a sneer on their faces, I'd reply "aren't you a little fat to be a super model?" or "aren't you a little ugly to be on anything other than radio?"

People were mean to us, they'd point and say 'look a droid!' ... just kidding it's yer Ma. We were always looking for droids for fucks sake, slippery wee things. Those helmets don't help either, once I arrested a trash can by mistake. 


Storm Troopers aren't the best ya know. After the failed cloning project they more or less hired anyone. Training consists of a day of learning to search for droids, 6 weeks of marching and 3 hours of blaster training. That was cut to one hour after too many recruits were getting shot by accident ... those things are dangerous. 

White gear, they must be sending me to Hoth or somewhere with snow.  

So I got my E11 triple slide 4 speed particle beam energy blaster. It had a scope that was set on the side to ensure that you didn't hit anything. Emperor Bernie Corbyn wanted to promote a more caring fascist socialist Empire. 
So after destroying Alderaan because it was in the way of a space motorway we were sent to the forests of Endor to crush the Rebel scum miscreants. 

We touched down and barely had time for a brew up before we were off to kills some Rebels. Princess Leia Orgasma was there mounting a defense, I preferred her sister Pippa who had a really nice arse. 

  Werk that inbred arse. 

As we were marching off to die fight, the Shadow Troopers were sniggering at us. They are dressed in cool black and could cloak, then I realised we were dressed in bright white gear in a fucken forest. I could only hope that the Rebels were also so easy to see too. Thanks Emperor, might as well paint a target on us too. 

White was found to be less intimidating by a focus group on how to make the Empire more likable. 

 Don't move or I'll use this sex toy on yer Endor ... lol! But seriously, you seen any droids? 

Reasons why things are seen: Shape, Shine, Surface, Silhouette .... or dressed in fucken white paintball motocross gear. 

So the Shadow Troopers blended in, the Scouts drove about on speeder bikes and we grunts walked in formation. 

My squad were attacked by some Rebels but we fended them off thanks to an AT- ST. We got to make plenty of Han Solo wanking on yer own jokes at that smuggler dude. How does he have sex? With his han solo .... lol! Yeah he was a good looking cool guy, we hated the fucker. I bet he even tapped yon ugly princess. Not that I'd say no but again, her sister ... way better. 

Then Barry my mate saw this line across the path and he pulled on it. Giant spikes came swinging doon and Barry was no more. A ton of fucken cute teddy bears came charging at us, we laughed abd said how Squee, they they started ripping us apart. 

  Poor Barry ... lest we forget. 

It was horrible. I don't know how I survived. I fired at them (shooting two of my buddies) and seeing the carnage I panicked and ran. I could run faster than our squad leader so when they got him and ripped him apart with their teeth I had enough time to escape, also I tripped up Harry on the way past so I had plenty of time for my brave retreat. 

I still can't walk past a 'Build a bear' shop without having flashbacks. The transport off Endor was full of shaking crying Storm Troopers, the Shadow Troopers were missing in action, they were cloaked and then we couldn't remember where we sent them. Still no bloody droids though, do droids even exist? 

 Yer son called, he has a Father's Day surprise for you.

Luckily I got the news that I'd be transferred to the Death Star (just a name as Big Ball was taken) there would be no evil teddy bears there, I'd be safe unless I pissed off Vader that is, years of steroids gave him a bit of a temper and having no willy too, that would make anyone testy so to speak .... He was a vet so you have to respect him. Sure he killed a load of children but past is past. 

He would force fondle female trooper's boobies so a bit of a jerk ... but again a vet so blame PTSD eh. 

We'd call him Derp Vader behind his back as his robotic legs made him trip all the time, but we did it out of respect and very quietly in case we incurred his droid rage.

I looked out a space window of the transport ship and saw the Death Star sitting there in the empty blackness of space. Nothing could get me out here. I was to guard the thermal exhaust port which is the weakness built into all Death Stars just for the lolz ... as if anything was going to come in through that lol.   


Sunday, 28 August 2016

Naked Selfie Sunday

A collection of naked selfies that get sent to me by my readers for you enjoy unless yer mind gets distracted by the messy rooms or the toilets. I can't be the only to wonder if the selfie is taken after a dump or before it. Did they do a massive dump and thought they must have lost some weight so why take a pic if you can stand the stench of yer own brand.

Friday, 26 August 2016

Did I Die In My Sleep?

Make America great like you did for the UK

Maybe I'm still being effected by the acid I dropped years ago, maybe I'm dreaming and all this is just a nasty nightmare and I'm in a coma or maybe I died .... is this Hell? Being trapped in a werld that doesn't make sense and is run by evil money grabbing cunts and I can't stop them as UK gun laws prevent me from owning a sniper rifle and then there is that no fly list thing I'm on.    

It turns out that when Mylan bought a company over the cost of Epi-pens went from $100 to $600. That's like when Martin Shkreli put up the price of a drug used in the treatment of aids from $13.50 per tablet to $750. 

Why do people enough kicking others when they are down so much? 

 Then there is Steven Seagal .... explain that fucker to me. 

Nigel Farage at a Trump rally to address all those racist rednecks potential voters and charm them with his English accent, "I don't know what he's saying cos he speaks funny but he speaks his mind so I like him, death to neggers and muslins!"

Farage helped fuck up the UK by lying to the people that we were better off out of the EU, then he went over to his office in the EU to put in some overtime before the people caught on. Now he's in the US speaking at a Bund Trump rally. His platform for Brexit was anti-immigrant and anti-foreigner in general, his posters harked back to 1930's Nazi Germany. 

Boris Johnson helped Farage lie to the British public, he is the least diplomatic person their is and he was made Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, that means he represents the UK aboard and has over sight of our foreign intelligence agencies.  This was the guy that said Obama was anti-British because of his Kenyan ancestry. 

I must be in Hell. 

 Who thinks this shit up? Who thinks that is is all a good idea? .... Satan, that's who. 

Then I get this reaction from weemen when I suggest they cradle my balls gently while sucking and licking my grey wizard's staff until they receive a magic potion .... I'm doomed to only meet leezers and asexuals, what harsh punishment for my sins. 

Then there is the look you get when you say something hilarious but they either don't get it or don't find children with cancer funny or something. It was fucken funny when I told it at a Trump rally for fucks sake. Of course I did say it was a child of colour then obviously. 

Explaining a funny comment is sooo painful. It was funny, yer just German or something. I know funny, I'm a clownfish. 

Also having to see pictures of children in bombed Syria, news of the suicide bomber that killed 51 at a Kurdish wedding in Turkey was like aged 12 or the Italian earthquake that killed 241.... this shit bums me out, why can't we just stop reporting on this stuff and then it will stop. 

Another reason why I think I'm in Hell are all the fucken cat pictures. People with children, cats and who eat food should not be allowed near cameras but since this is Hell and all ..... 

Also the hot one from Charlies Angels has turned out to be a dude ... WTF Satan? Never name a boy BJ.

Oh you want further proof that I'm languishing in the depths of hell .... how about the 50 year gaps in between the seasons of Sherlock? It doesn't take that long to make a TV show, East Enders doesn't take years nor did Two and a half fucken men. Cancelling Firefly ..... I can't even begin at how much that damaged my calm.

Then you have Fear of the walking dead being shite. Who would have thought that a Johnny Depp wanna be wandering around Mexico in the desert during the zombie apocalypse would have been boring as fuck? Not the people that made it obviously. 

Just kill this prick already. I get it, the wee junkie boy doesn't fit in and thinks he has more in common with the walking dead ... he's about as interesting as them I suppose. I like zombie movies and shows and so by making that genre crap it proves I'm in Hell. 

 I also can't find this video online. 

So ... If it's all about Old Knudsen being in Hell then explain all the other people in the werld ... in other werds YOU.  

Obviously you lot are demons, maybe like Blade runner the way yon robot chick thought she was human that maybe you too think you are. 

Hell is other people so therefore it is all yer fault and those bodies were under my patio when I moved in BTW. 

Answer me this. Why is an amazing genius like Old Knudsen not a famous hoosehold name but this berd's arse is? I have an arse, I've made sex tapes that were leaked ..... plenty of leaking in fact. One is called The leaking box of shame fer fucks sake. 

Why aren't children following my example and running about calling each other a cunt and looking at boobs and ghey porn? ... oh they are? Fucken youngsters, no respect these days. 

Don't get me started on Hiddleswift ... you were Loki!!!!!!!! You were the chosen one! Congratulations yer now crappy enough to be the next Bond .... why is Bond still a thing???? 

I am insane and you are my insanity  

So yeah, I've got to be in Hell. I thought God was done and punished me enough by making me almost human but no, that cunt can really hold a grudge. I get it Lucifer yer only doing yer job. 
When God wants to punish someone he'll do it .... he'll flood a city, create interesting ways to deform unborn babies, let bad things happen to good people while the bad ones become the 1%, he'll get 'it's the final countdown' or 'Oh Mickey, you're so fine you're so fine you blow my mind' stuck in yer head, he'll put cray cray ideas into yer head too like, wow Trump sure makes a lot of sense, he's tremendous I think I'll vote for him and not crooked Hillary or maybe I'll blow myself and these people up so I can get a reward from Allah in magicland.  

God loved Job but let Satan torture him by making him lose his wife, children and fortune and gave him painful skin ailments and probably the clap to prove a point.

If he did that so someone he loved ..... the fucker hates Old Knudsen so all of this makes sense. 

Then you have stupid people, why God why curse me with these? Bryson is anti-Good Friday Agreement (GFA) which was the vote for peace in Northern Ireland that won by 71% compared to Brexit winning by 52% . Northern Ireland and Scotland voting against leaving the EU but we're having it forced upon us... thank you Sassenachs. 

Bryson was 8 for fucks sake when we voted for the GFA but this mouth piece is against it and disrespects the 71% democratic vote on a daily basis. How can people be so stupid, hypocritical and excessively annoying by merely existing?  71% isn't an iffy 52% ya twat, it's a fucken mandate .... no, not the kind you go on. 

It is all about me as no one else seems as annoyed about things as I do. If I was alive the rich would be helping the poor instead of putting ads on their Facebook and concocting mosquito delivered viruses, war would be a thing of the past because people will realise that it's just idiotic. Fat bummed celebs, sports stars and actors will not be seen as role models but fire fighters, medics, teachers and that bloke that does a job he hates every fucken day just so his kids never go without will be hailed as heroes and role models. 

There won't be people of colour, not because of Trump's concentration camps but because they'll just be known as people. 

Boys will not have to be told it's not right to have sex with an unconscious girl at a party because they'll be raised to have morals and respect. 

 Such a nice soft and grateful personality she has.

People will look at the personality before they do a flat stomach or a set of guns and real guns will be only sold to decent people, not those that get hard shooting children.  

If children did get shot while I was alive there would be enough outrage and empathy to stop people from getting those weapons so easily instead of making excuses and crying about out of date rights.  

Children have the right not to be shot while at school. 

Healthcare & education would be free basic human rights as would clean drinking water, food and a home. If you worked it would be for gain, not to pay some of yer rent and have to chose what utility would be paid that month. 

When a person's basic needs are met then great things, ideas and creations are done. No life time of debt and not able to get ahead, no monopolizing of systems or market. War and illness would not be big earners and money making schemes. 

There would only be 1st world countries and they would understand how important it is to still have nature.  

I'm sure that while Old Knudsen burns in the Hell of his own making (what he hates being a reality) that life is going on elsewhere and it's probably good and sensible and humanity has wised up.