Monday, 18 July 2016

World Ginger Cure Day

Prince Harry had his blood tested at a London clinic to finally find out who his real father is. It has been long rumoured that his real father is cavalry officer James Hewitt or maybe one of several palace servants and possibly a civil servant from Norway. 

If it was Old Knudsen he takes after his Ma and you can't be ordered to pay back dated child support if they are adults right?   

 Call that a necklace, you're a total loser ha ha ha! 

"I just cannot believe I share his DNA, I refuse to believe it"  .... said the Prince. Unless there is a number of sudden deaths in the Royal family then Harry has no chance at getting to the Iron Throne. "Will and Kate keep popping them out, they are planning on having at least 6 or 7 more" added the despondent prince who is sick of seeing baby pictures on his Face Book feed. He even had to stop others from being able to tag him.   

 James Hewitt and Prince Harry or Prince Harry and James Hewitt.

A more serious side to the blood test is that Harry also wants to raise awareness for gingerism which affects 2% of the werld's population. He hopes for a cure someday as he doesn't want his own children to be born with such an awful disability. Damian Lewis, Eddie Redmayne and that guy from Harry Potter joined the prince for 'World Ginger Cure Day' or G-Day. 

Dr Bill Hogg at Guys and St. Thomas' Hospital in London said, " it must be terrible for them being so ..... different. I want normal people to see that gingers are people too not disgusting creatures that should be killed with a large rock." Hogg knows the pain of gingerism as he had to give up his son for adoption when it he was found to be ginger. 

"Well I don't have the recessive gene, must be my ex-wife" said the doctor defensively.

Am I the only one that has to add like BBQ sass to beans otherwise I can't eat them? 

Old Knudsen doesn't know how he does it. How can you look a ginger in the eye and tell them there is nothing they can do for them? How do people in the medical profession bare to even touch them, sure they use rubber gloves but still.  
They are better people than I for it would be difficult to keep a poker face. Looking at some of my own weeping boils has me throwing up in me mouth for fucks sake. I lost 12 LBS throwing up after those make up free selfies became a thing. Use a filter for fucks sake, children might see it.  

Of course the elephant in the room that gets ignored is that ginger people will also have ginger pubes. Prince Harry wouldn't go into details but the lad from Harry Potter shaves them as do his ginger pals. Laser treatment for ginger pubes is available on the NHS are are support groups for families of gingerism.

I'm only kidding of course. Ginger people are fine, nothing wrong with Christina Hendricks because she has massive baps they are just like you and I. I'm all for setting up the 2% of the werld's population on an island somewhere, not too hot obviously. 

Lets show these ginger abominations people the compassion and understanding that nature has denied them ... or we can just nuke em. 


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