Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Odin Approves Of Hump Day

  Tolkien ripped off was inspired by Odin for some of his characters in Lord of the rings. 

Odin, Woden, Wodenaz, Woten, Wuotan or Wu Tang is the father of Norse mythology and has today (Wednesday) named after him.
The name comes from the Proto-Germanic, Old High German, Old English and Saxon meaning something like a mind or spirit that maybe a full of rage with powers of prophecy. 

Odin's grandfather was made by the giant cow Audhumbla, as she licked space rocks, each lick produced a body part of Buri and then made a son for him Bor. Bor married a Frost Giant (a Jotun) and had 3 sons Odin, Vile and Ve.

The 3 of them were right cunts, back then there wasn't any planets, they had to make their own entertainment. There was just a giant cow and a great big bloke named Ymir and some giants. Even though they were part cow lick and part giant they hated the giants (penis envy) and killed Ymir drowning nearly all the Jotuns with his blood, all except one.

The Earth, seas and mountains were made from Ymir's body and blood, his hair became trees and grass, the maggots that came from his skull became dwarves who then went on to making the stars and the sky and appear in some really classy pornos.

Any science class will tell you all of this.   

Some "experts" have speculated that the Norse gods came from Hindu and Greek legends during the Iron age, Odin being a bit of a late comer. He's widely known from the 5th century on when the Norse went forth to spread their ways across the known and unknown werld. 

 Loki turned into a mare and was fucked by a stallion to give Odin his 8 legged horse.

As like Solomon and King David the older families and royalty claim a family connection to Odin. Kings in the middle ages had family trees that went back to Jesus for fucks sake. Didn't Jesus himself claim to be descended from David via Joseph .... now which is it, David of God? Make up yer mind.  

From Baghdad to Vinland those Vikings got around. They exported from Greenland, walrus ivory, furs, skins, wool. From Iceland, fish, animal fat, wool cloth and clothing, sulfur, falcons. From England, tin, wheat, honey, woolens, silver, barley, linen. From Russia, slaves, furs, wax, honey. From Byzantium, silks, fruits, spices, wines, gems, silver, jewelry.

The original blurred lines .... you know you want it.

Back then you'd barter or use coin. Hack silver was a length of silver you'd cut bits off to pay for things. Back then 8 ounces of silver would get you 4 milk cows and 12 would get you a male slave but now since the Tories and even worse Brexit you get fuck all for yer money. Have you tried to buy slaves in this economy? Fucken nie impossible. 

Silver pennies were the same size as British pennies or US cents but thinner.

Back to Odin. He was a smart fucker and had valkyries or the ladies of Odin to fight for him cos weemen fight to win, not fight to posture like blokes do. I'm sure he was very professional though he has been connected as the bringer of ecstasy so always good if yer having a party. 

Odin demanded his blood and was the decider in many a battle. He rules war and gives people strength against the enemy.

 Who wants a cracker, did you say it was Polly?

He believed that knowledge was power and had two ravens Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory to spy for him and tell him news. He is also known as the Raven god and ravens have always been depicted with him.
Gods are all about sacrifice. You sacrifice to the gods and then when that became less acceptable it became the gods that sacrificed for us.

Runes are a form of alphabet that can be used for divination and spells. Old Knudsen uses them for glimpses of what is to be but usually finds they tell what was or what is, probably because the future is still open to variables and prone to change. The runes gained by Odin date back to 100 BC.

We have some in our alphabet such as M meaning man or mankind relating to ones 'self ' and R meaning wagon or chariot which signifies travel.    

 He sacrificed his eye and probably some sanity for the wisdom and knowledge the runes gave him.

I know that I hung on a wind-rocked tree, nine whole nights, with a spear wounded, and to Odin offered, myself to myself; on that tree, of which no one knows from what root it springs. Bread no one gave me, nor a horn of drink, downward I peered, to runes applied myself, wailing learnt them,

Who hasn't done that? His lower self (ego) for his higher self. He tripped out until he saw the shapes of the runes which he memorised and was able to use them in spells for wisdom and healing. He went on to teach the runes to Freya and Heimdall. 
Tomorrow is Thors day, lets get hammered. 

As with werds of power there are numbers of power as seen in many religions. 3 and 9 being the most popular. 3 days before Jesus turned into a walker, the trinity, 3 is used 467 times in the Bible. The 3 children of Loki, 3 sons of Odin left after Ragnarok, 9 rings, 9 steps that Thor took before dying yadda yadda. 
Hanging with a spear wound is so Jesus like. Christians have stolen many Pagan ways in order to convert the Pagans to their brand of mental illness. It's ok, many of these ideas (like the flood) came from earlier religions too but rebranded and changed like the new Ghostbusters film.  
Do we need yet another god or another remake? ... oh it's all weemen, how fucken sassy. The older ones were and are still just as good as when they came out. 

Odin is not the noble wise god you see in the Marvel movies. He lied and tricked to get his way and the NSA had nothing compared to his ravens. 
Every week we honour him on Wednesday or hump day cos he liked a fine piece of ass. Now if the Neo-Nazis could stop invoking his name for their hatred that would be great, they are the wrong kind of ass. 

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