Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Feel The Bern But Draw The Line

So Bernie like Trump tapped into the belief of something better. Trump goes the way of hate and Bernie the way of hope.
A better future by crushing our enemies or people we could make our enemies .... A better future by being nice and helping people.   

Racial equality, fairer incomes, financial reforms, products made in the US again, women's rights, LGBT rights, healthcare for all, looking after veterans and better education. Bernie is sort of Jewish but not really and used to work as a carpenter so just like Jesus if he had made it to 75 and actually existed. 

He said that Americans could be better and have it all without putting anyone down and he is the sort of person the US needs to lead it. If only the US wasn't a big cesspool of corruption. 

One of the largest economies in the werld should be able to look after its own people right? They have this double bluff victim mentality where they have to go and get success and are losers if they need help. The government has done a real number on them and they are told that they are too special for healthcare and education unless they pay through the nose for it.   

We all know how powerful the Darkside is.

Sanders was amazing but then we noticed he wasn't getting any media coverage, what the fuck? I was seeing Hillary everywhere, I had to go and do a search to even hear what Sanders sounded like.

We all knew there was a plot, it was Hillary's turn to be President. Then yon rapist released the stolen e-mails and it turned out that politicians lied and schemed .... we were shocked. Our votes don't matter, who would have thought it?

Oh that's right Bush versus Gore in 2000, how soon we forget. 

US politics usually has 2 rich people with rich friends trying to out money each other for the White House. Sanders was an unrealistic pipe dream that some actually fell for. They wanted to believe.

When Sanders lost the nomination and endorsed Hillary his loyal followers turned on him like those spiders in the Lost in space movie that eat their wounded.

Sanders suddenly dealt in reality. The Bernie movement wasn't the massive social revolution they had hoped for. You can pack stadiums but without the media on yer side you are nothing. It's the 21st century, word of mouth hasn't worked in decades. This isn't the time of Paul Revere.

The choice was that Sanders could run as an independent .... he'd lose and take lots of Clinton's votes with him and Trump would win. 

He could endorse Clinton and hope his followers vote for her so Trump wouldn't win.

Many Bernie supporters just straight out refuse to vote Clinton. Their protest vote or lack of will give them moral superiority because they aren't backing a rigged system .... enjoy yer Trump years.

Your protest votes will mean that Trump will win and who cares about your moral high ground? Thanks in part to you the cuntry will get worse and the US will go from being hated to flat out ridiculed and hated.

Muslims getting singled out, Mexicans getting singled, losers getting singled out la la la not listening I didn't vote for him my farts smell Caucasian and delicious.

This already happened in the UK with idiots voting Green or Ukip because they were in a sulk with Labour. The Tories won. Then there was the Brexit vote which was basically a vote against foreigners, no matter how you make excuses for it.

 I love how everyone loves veterans all of a sudden.

A Trump vote like Brexit validates the haters. It will mean that it's socially acceptable to say 'go back to your own cuntry' since the majority vote says so.

      I'll make it up to you Bernie with a free tour of the White House. 

It may be Hillary's turn but will everyone suddenly pretending to like her be enough?  Trump weathered the whole paying people to pretend to be supporters thing and every thing else he has said but Hillary has the sexist thing to battle too as women are supposed to be either good in bed or able to bake like yer Ma. 
Bernie supporters need to grow the fuck up and take off those rosy glasses. Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. A moral high ground is as tangible as principles ... otherwise known as sulky stubbornness. It's politics, have you never watched Game of Thrones for fucks sake? 

How will you sulking change it? You couldn't stop Firefly from getting cancelled how can you hope to change one of the most powerful political systems in the world? Hows yon gun control going? ... shooting children is a right ya know.  

The game is rigged because once you think yer close to catching them all they make new ones. There were 151 original Pokemon and now there is like 726 .... it's a fucken money making scheme, accept reality. 

It's like having different coloured lightsabers, yeah green, blue and red for the good and bad guys but then they had to make them purple and with double blades and just shut up and take my money, a director's cut? ... take my money I said! 

Just how many Transformers and Iron man suits are there? 

When you think you have an honest politician you'll find that somewhere, somehow they have compromised themselves. Nobody is perfect and usually not how you expect them to be. Like a much loved actor refusing to sign autographs .... but but I bought all yer movies, I own you.

People superimpose their expectations onto others. Thomas Jefferson 'all men created equal' ... wonderful huh? He raped his slaves and didn't try to abolish slavery because it was too hard. Lincoln, a wonderful leader who would have kept slavery and controlled the press but everyone sees him as a great liberator.

FDR was tough but a hero .... yeah tell that to the loyal American Japanese he put into camps.

People still see Obama as being wonderful ... how far up their hole is their heads? Domestic spying, going after people that download movies or music or whistleblowers harder than actual criminals, funding Al Qaeda affiliates and randomly killing civilians with drones, propping up US friendly governments in Ukraine and Yemen ...  but forget all that, did you see his video on BuzzFeed ?      

Not playing the rigged game has consequences too.

I feel sorry for the Bernie fans that loved him a little too much.  Maybe it's not the best time to tell them about Santa.        

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

How To Make America Safe

 Winter is here and it's tremendous, everybody loves it.

The United States of America started out as a British colony much like many other cuntries in the werld. The first civil war (now known as the Revolutionary war) was fought because some of the colonials preferred tea than coffee. George Washington used to like tea but changed to coffee later in life ..... Can you really trust a turncoat?

 Soon after changing to coffee his teeth fell out and he began to look like an old granny.

Benedict Arnold a Major General in the Continental army and war hero tried coffee but soon realized that it was a foul commie drink and that tea was better. He even took a demotion to Brigadier General in the British army on condition that he never had to drink coffee ever again.

The colonials in Boston dressed as Brits and had a tea party which had everyone asking, why aren't they fixing the economy instead of drinking tea?

The Red coat is cumming, lock up yer daughters and pets.

1776 was when America was great, everything after that has been bleh. That's how I remember it. Old Knudsen was drinking tea and Benjamin Franklin called him a loser. I said all I'm asking, is for a little respect, just a little bit. Do I have to spell it out? R-E-S-P-E-C-T .

No wonder Benjamin Franklin is listed as one of the top 5 worse US Presidents. 

Donald Trump wants to make America great again. He has suggested renting out the rest of the states and having a walled community of 13 colonies. He had to leave New York to get votes and he didn't like it, states full of Mexican rapists, what's that about? A billionaire forced to eat a pork chop on a stick .... who even does that?

He said it all during his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention to Eye of the tiger playing in the background. 

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and carpet bomb the Syrians, Iraqis, Creeds and anyone else that are a part of ISIS. Everybody keeps asking me when we are going to destroy ISIS and keep this country of ours safe and I say, Hillary is weak, Obama is a Muslim and I know how to make a deal, am I right or am I right? .... no need to answer that, all the polls say I'm right, I love the Poles, a tremendous people. 

Chicago has a lot of Poles, the top of everything, they love me. 

I'm so proud of my children and all of my wives. Everybody says how hot my wife Melania is, as hot as my daughter Ivanka I'd say. Very intelligent women, the top of their class, so intelligent I just tell them to stand there and look pretty because who has time to talk about girl things? I love girls though. I put them up on a pedestal in a swimsuit .... make America great again!          

Whatever he's doing it's working. Old Knudsen wakes up screaming, "Hillary is weak" and has noticed more ethnic people when before he wouldn't have looked twice at them unless they were hot.

Old Knudsen is not from East Belfast, he doesn't stare at foreigners like they have two heads, he's cosmopolitan and werldly wise but what if they are all pedo terrorists like Rupert Murdoch says that are huh?

We should trust rich people. Jesus was poor and he said he'd return ... the lying fucker. 

Trump hasn't gone into details about how he'll make America safer. The man is a genius so you probably wouldn't understand it anyways.

Here is what I'll predict he'll do and why hasn't someone already done this? We need to get smart!

Change yer address. Call America The United 13 colonies of Trumpica and the rapists and terrorists will be confused. They'll end up in South America or somewhere stoopid. Imagine a terrorist ending up in Mexico city because it's Central America, they'd shit themselves and probably get sold as sex slaves.

A robot that can bench press a truck ... what could possibly go wrong?

Make cars faster so they'll miss knocking people down .... it's a no brainer. Ban driverless Tesla cars because they seem to be out to get us. The fucken robots will be the end to us. 

People need guns, it's a basic human right. No one demands a better education or healthcare provider because that takes effort. Guns are less expensive than education and health so give everyone guns and not only will the Soviets and the Apache think twice about invading but the economy will be better too.

Arm homeless veterans especially, to make our streets safer.

When we caught archers after the battle of Agincourt we removed their bow pulling fingers so they'd be harmless. Lets remove the trigger fingers and thumbs of refugees. If they have nothing to hide they'd come forward for it willingly.  

Make it a requirement that drug dealers and pimps have a license and regulate them. Dangerous drugs and bitches with the clap are one of the biggest dangers to the US.

End turf wars by having the areas clearly marked with fines if you break it instead of violence.

Make being a terrorist and doing terrorist things illegal. ISIS will think twice before killing a load of people if they knew it was against the law.

Global warming is a hoax .... but lets invade and bomb it anyways. If we are destroying nature in the Middle East then we are stopping ours from getting destroyed.

 Ugly poses are un-American.

There needs to be more gyms and beauty schools for women because a pretty woman can really brighten up yer day. Ugly weemen aren't mentioned in the constitution but it goes without saying that if you don't look good in a swimsuit then you must be a commie.

Keep men happy so they don't rape and kill people .... again, a no brainer.

These are just a few ideas that Trump and myself have thrown around during our correspondence. We don't have time to be PC so expect some branding and shaming in order to make America great again and a more safer place.      

Monday, 25 July 2016

On This Day True History

On this day in history Richard Nixon microwaved 3 Apollo 11 astronauts. Back then microwaving was thought to kill off any space germs. The timer was for 30 seconds but a mistake had them on defrost for 3 minutes. Nixon found this hilarious and thought it was totally worth the expense of transforming body doubles with plastic surgery just to see their eyeballs pop.

Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins refuse to address the fact that they are replacements and the moon landing being called a hoax was invented by the CIA to shift focus off the men not being who they are.


What Use Are The PSNI?

I told you it would end in tears. 

Back in the hazy days pre 1998 Northern Ireland had a police service like the US does today. It was called the  Royal Ulster Constabulary or RUC. That was back when you could still smoke in pubs and restaurants and before camera phones were a thing. 
We didn't have very many black people (still don't) so we filled that void by using Catholics in their place. The RUC was mostly Protestant and was a fair and just organization ... if you were Protestant. 

He looks a bit taigy, better throw him in the back.

Those movies where the army come in and take control .... that was our every day life as the army patrolled with a few RUC officers. The RUC had respect because they were feared. They'd cuff you around the head and send you on yer way if they couldn't be arsed bringing you in. 

They didn't shoot unarmed Catholics for kicks though would really fuck them up with their batons. Like peaceful protests in the US and the police go in and kick the fuck out of them because rights and the constitution means shit when dealing with hippies. 

These wee MP5's are heavy and scare me when they go bang.

The RUC was disbanded and affirmative action tried to hire Catholics for a 50/50 police service imaginatively called the Police Service of Northern Ireland or PSNI. No more baton charges and while the RUC could clear a room by just walking in the PSNI usually get a harsh mocking and told to fuck off. 

While the RUC were biased and often worked with Loyalist Paramilitaries you knew that when you called them they would turn up and sort things out.  

After 1998 we were supposed to have things changed, not just the police. The murals would be removed and we'd move forward in a shared future of equality. 

Of course those in power are biased towards their own side and people and now the police are too afraid to do anything in case it damages the peace we are supposed to have. 2015 the UK had the most terrorist attacks of all of Europe. Not ISIS or Al Qaeda but our own white bigoted Northern Ireland homegrown Christian terrorists.    

The PSNI behave more like security guards than police officers. They patrol and report back. We still have murals and flags promoting terrorist organizations up on lamp posts. The PSNI say it's not their job to remove them. 

Recently a banner of Billy Wright was put up on a lamp post. He was a scum UVF leader (a loyalist terrorist/criminal gang) who was killed while in prison in retaliation for a Catholic terrorist that was killed. The banner of a bloke connected to the murders of 20 people sits up there while the public are disgusted. 

If members of the public went around taking down banners and flags they would 1) get arrested 2) have their house petrol bombed while they slept or 3) get a punishment beating. 

We will now issue these Nerf guns so no one gets hurt.
The senior PSNI response to the banner is, 'well it might offend some while others it might not' ... not exactly the reaction you'd expect from the police. 

That Swastika, burning cross and pig's head on the mosque steps might offend some people but to the rest it might be ok. Best leave it for fear of offending someone.

Some people look for things to be offended by.

The PSNI don't seem to like confrontation and during a riot will stand there and take a beating while their colleagues film the crimes. The next day they'll publish a report of how many officers were hurt and how much the policing cost. 
If they recognize any of the criminals from the video footage they may arrest them a month away when they least expect it .... huh?   

Maybe it's just on the TV that police stop crimes from being committed instead of watching them.  

Recently a mother of 3 was killed while walking her dog. A 17 year-old on a dirt bike hit her. The guy was charged with it as he didn't have a license, insurance and was riding it in a forest park in West Belfast for fucks sake. 

If you live on a housing estate you'll see teenagers riding scramblers without helmets either on the road or on grass bits nears houses to just fuck it up with tire tracks. If you call the PSNI you'll probably get the usual level of apathy. 
You can almost sense the shrugs and eye rolls, "we'll send a couple of officers out" .... um but I haven't told you where it is and you haven't asked me what they look like.

Makes you appreciate the teens out looking for Pokemon and not causing trouble.  

If the PSNI do dare to venture into a housing estate they usually like to wait about 3 - 4 hours after the call and quietly under the cover of darkness. So not much use really. 

If you call them about terrorist or criminal activities then expect a couple of police at yer door. Bring them in quickly or they'll start pointing and saying 'is that him there' .... uh yeah I was trying to be discrete about it but thanks. 

Everyone sees everything here and double that if the police are involved cos people here are nosy fuckers. Also PSNI are a rare as legendary Pokemon.

 Stop it or there may be consequences! .... I'm being serious now. 

On the PSNI social media accounts they angrily denounced the teens with a stern warning. the teens decided to ride their scramblers around West Belfast .... show some respect, a woman has just died ffs. Yeah you should wait at least 4 weeks before breaking the law, young people today have no manners.      

I can imagine angry PSNI officers shaking their fists at the young scally wags as they speed by them. Blast you and your bad parents that buy you dirt bikes!!!!! .... hope I didn't come off as sounding too angry there.

The PSNI keep mentioning budget cuts and how they won't be able to do their job .... will we notice? I say we disband our police again but hire them back for less. We sell their guns and tasers on e-Bay or something and just stick to the honour system for crime. 

What fucking use is it having a police service when they are fucken useless pussies? Riots, go crack some skulls, not yer own. Flags, take them down because the criminals that put them up and that build a 30 foot tall fires where ever they please are laughing at you. 

I've had police experience.

Old Knudsen wants a badge and and gun. Give him 20 good men and 72 hours .... or is it 72 men and 20 hours? Yeah some can be weemen if ya want. I know I want.

I won't make friends and the criminals won't like me but at least it wouldn't be them running the streets. 

Thursday, 21 July 2016

Any Justice For Daniel Shaver?

Nice family pic to show he was a good guy.

It's easy to second guess and say what is right or wrong if you weren't there, then there are times when the evidence tells and shows you quite plainly what the fuck happened. 

In Arizona in January 2016 an unarmed white guy was shot to death by police. I just mentioned he was white because going by the media you'd think that only black guys get shot. The US is hung up on the color of unarmed people getting shot rather than the fact that cops are doing it quite a bit.
At a La Quinta Inn hotel in Mesa Arizona, police got a report of a man pointing a rifle out of his hotel window. 

Daniel Shaver aged 26 had a job of shooting birds that got trapped in Wal-Mart stores. He traveled for his work and had two BB rifles with him that he was showing to a couple of other guests in his room. They had been drinking and I guess it went with him telling them about his job and them saying, 'hey can I see your guns?' The call to police was from someone outside that saw them in the room. 

Philip Brailsford is a 25 year-old who gave up wanting to be an actor to join the police. He's married, has a son and plays in a band and likes motorcycles, football and target practice. He was with the police for 2 and a half years. His father was a lieutenant in the police Internal Affairs dept and a US army vet in Afghanistan and got a bronze star.     

The Mesa police union support the younger Brailsford and his actions that led to the death of Daniel Shaver.  

About 6 officers went through the hotel to confront Shaver at his room # 502. The released body cam footage shows before and after the shooting but not the shooting. Shaver's wife has been told not to talk about the case but is insisting upon justice as she believes that Brailsford will not be treated as everyone else is because he was a cop.  

Other cases with average people get a large bail amount and prison straight away because the cases are so serious. The judge says you can't compare cases as they are all different then said because he was a cop he was doing his official duty .... so yeah, treated differently.

You're fucked points to the mentality of the person that owned the rifle.

Brailsford was fired after the shooting, one reason was that he had 'you're fucked' inscribed on his AR-15, his own weapon he was allowed to use. These words are against police policy but only offensive after you shoot someone. 

Shaver was instructed to crawl towards the police on his hands and knees, his last words were him begging the police not to shoot him. Brailsford saw Shaver reaching back and thinking he might have been drawing a gun he shot him 5 times in the back. 

As you can see from the picture it would have been very difficult to keep and conceal a heavy pistol with what he was wearing and that Shaver was reaching back to pull up his pants. 

Shaver had been drinking so he probably just did it out of instinct. When your pants are falling down you pull them up right?

The judge not posting bail indicates her husband's life meant nothing says his wife Laney. 

Brailsford is shocked that he was charged with 2nd degree murder as he thinks he did nothing wrong ..... 5 times in the back.  He has never been taken into custody.

Brailsford was released without a bail being set as he did not appear to be a flight risk or a risk to the public, except for Shaver that is. He is not allowed any firearms, to talk to the victim's family or return to the scene of the crime hotel.

Of course he's going to be treated differently, cops should be considering what they have to do but when they fuck up like this or abuse their authority then the full weight of the law should come down on them. Examples are made with people who break the law so why not cops?

A well lit hotel hallway with a frightened bloke crawling on the floor as ordered wearing elasticated shorts and 5 other cops as back up standing over him is not the same as a dodgy bloke in a darkened alleyway. In the body cam footage Brailsford asks a fellow officer how many clips he has. When the officer answers 3 Brailsford asks for one for his back pocket.

None of the other officers felt the need to shoot. 

A standard magazine carries 20 ish rounds so maybe the 20 in his rifle, whatever others he had and 45 rounds he had for his Glock handgun wasn't enough. Instead of one guy with a rifle pointing out of a window there might have been at least 18 potential criminals he could shoot into 5 times each. Maybe it was an ISIS convention, Shaver did have a beard. 

Bearing in mind it was a police call, not a crime scene until the cops got there. No one should be above the law but we all know there are plenty that are. 

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Tits Get In The Way Of Busting Ghosts

What's with the front pockets on the 2 fatter ones?  

Too hot to handle too cold to hold, they call them 3 crackers and a token black.  Had em reboot a classic for a bunch of children while all the while Slimers under the building .... wanking at the new up skirt movie.   

No, the remake of Ghostbusters didn't spoil anyone's childhood. It just annoyed the fuck out of people. Instead of 3 unattractive white guys and a token black they have 3 unattractive white chicks and a token black. 
The only thing they could add is bukkake jokes when they get slimed. Why all women? Well we're going to have a female President so why not? And the outrage at women might make up for the lack of originality. 

I'm not outraged, I'm perplexed. Who the fuck wanted this film?  

How could you get any more funny than Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd? It isn't possible. I saw Melissa McCarthy in the movie Tammy and that was just awful. Anyone else I don't really know. Kate McKinnon does stuff on SNL but that show hasn't been funny for years. 

Ghostbusters became a part of pop culture and it still is, it's just a little dated. I don't get remakes if the original was good to start of with. Something like the Texas chainsaw massacre hit a nerve because that shit had never been done before, when the remake came around in 2003 slasher films were bleh, whatever. I don't think I even saw it, if I did it was so unremarkable I forgot it.  

The same with the Evil dead remake. Hit movies are to do with the time and the cast more than anything. Bruce Campbell wasn't in the 2013 Evil Dead movie but was in the TV series. I tried watching the show but it wasn't as good, its sell by date was up. I hate it when you get new, younger characters forced upon you.

Zoolander is a brilliant movie but its timing after 9/11 wasn't great, it became a cult hit years afterwards. The second film is just as good but probably because the cast have aged well and the same humour is still there.

I was worried about Star Trek as how could you replace Kirk, Spock and Bones but they did it. Enough to be like them but different. Scotty was amazingly miscast though. Could they not find someone that could do a Scottish accent? 
The Khan movie was a let down because we already knew who Khan was, even with Kirk dying it was a bleh one. Does Kirk have superhuman strength now thanks to Khan's blood? 

It was like Starlord, the famous outlaw no one had heard of ... my name is Khan ... um, ok.  

Star Wars had the same Ghostbuster reaction, a black person in the lead role? .... well actually it was a chick in the lead but not that you could tell from the merchandising. The struggle wasn't Rebels against the Empire but watching the old Han and Leia acting together in scenes. As exciting as visiting a rest home.

I'd actually like the Empire to win, how is putting elitist Royals in charge better? The socialism of the Empire works for me. Everyone gets a blaster and a motocross outfit .... sure the minimum of blaster training but pew pew pew.

Who doesn't have dickhead bosses that choke you now and again? No means NO Vader. The Darkside has cookies? You had me at laser swords and black masks so you don't put yer eye out. Also I like saying Rebel scum. 

So excuse the fuck out of me if the media is telling me I'm sexist about Ghostbusters or I'm whining because I had some happy memory from the past ruined. Um the original movie was good but not THAT good, it wasn't life changing. 

I'm just about shite remakes getting too much attention. I want movies like Zombieland, Zoolander,Oblivion  and Tropic Thunder.

No repeat Bonds or Jack Ryan, as Zoolander 2 said, lets have a Jack off night. 

Bring me more Superheroes but not the rehashed Batman, Superman and Spiderman crap. If I have to live through yet another origins story. 
Where is my Captain Britain or Alpha FLight? Alcoholic Brit superheroes with issues and Canadian super peeps that know Wolverine. Peter Dinklage may have been in an X-men movie already but he was born to play Puck. 

I'm pretty sure there are new stories out there. Look at TV shows like Preacher for fucks sake, sure it was a comic at first but only dorky male virgins have ever heard of it, new can be done.  


Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Not All Lives Matter

Black lives are so important to me as I have a token black friend.

What the fuck is racism anyways? You don't like someone because they have a different skin tone than you. In fact you hate them because of it. You look for things to justify yer hatred like noticing all the crime that black people do but ignoring all the white criminals.

Do you even science bro? Skin colour is a result of what climate and environment yer ancestors moved to and then who they kept fucking. They became different culturally due to the societies they formed but seriously people who doesn't like fried chicken?

Loyalists in Northern Ireland telling Catholics to eat potatoes and go back to Ireland .... well firstly the north is still a part of the isle of Ireland and what, you don't like spuds? .... what kind of weirdo are you? Not racism but it's related.

People call hating foreigners racism just as they get murder and genocide mixed up. Just call assholes bigoted as they probably are racists too.     

Crackers, niggers, chinks, wogs whatever, aren't separate races, we're all one race THE HUMAN RACE. We're the same fucken species.

Humans of all colours are tribal. They started out as tribes and clans in their caves and though we claim to be advanced and civilised we are still tribal.... see Christians, Hipsters, Nerds, Feminists, briefs or boxers, left wing, right wing, breasts or legs.

We connect with others with similarities. You lost someone from cancer, so did I. You like Superheroes, so do I .... oh, you like DC, not Marvel ..... then fuck off! 

Our racism gets intertwined with our bigotry and we think of new ways to hate others that aren't us.

Or if it's Germans then hating them just for being German is fine. 

Humans are idiots. Today in the 21st century there are people that believe the ark story to be historical fact and that there are invisible super beings listening to their prayers and making their sports teams more successful than the others.

Thank you God for letting me survive my operation, thank you God for me winning this Oscar, thank you God for the food on my plate.

Skill and people being good at their job doesn't matter when there are other factors at werk like the approval of invisible beings.  When Poseidon wants yer ship to sink you'd better hold yer breathe.

 Fortuna with her corn of copia.

Back in the day we'd pray to Fortuna, that was the Roman version of Tyche whose name means luck. It used to be that we relied on Mother Nature for food and hoped and prayed for fair weather. Cornucopia means horn of plenty and even today is a symbol of abundance. Being horny and blowing yer own horn is something to be nurtured and appreciated. Removing yer ribs doesn't werk BTW. 

Since we relied on Mother Nature the expression 'my goddess gave birth to your god' is quite correct. From the feminine, life would spring . When men realised that they played a part in reproduction then you had male gods and suddenly sexism.
The Adam and Eve story, a little too contrived and slanted and then the apple part ...I get it, you like bumming boys and don't know how babies are made, quit the gurl hate for fucks sake.

Fate is the name you give when you don't know who it is that is screwing you over. The Fates or the Moira were given side roles in mythology as myths grew about great male heroes with big throbbing hammers. Trivia was the Roman goddess of Wicthcraft other wise known as Hecate (what the heck") The Goddess Dike AKA Justice and Hel have all been changed to become bad things or insults.

Nigger comes from the Spanish and Portuguese word negro or the Latin adjective niger to mean black. You know this probably.

My point is that we always find ways to insult, belittle or hate each other. Like in Nam. We're fighting against the Vietnamese, they killed Americans so lets call them Gooks and Slopes .... sure the Americans went out of their way to get killed there but still.
Those sand savages, towel heads and camel jockeys, they worship Allah and he says to rape all the white women ... no that's blacks ach I can't keep up. Sure Judaism, Islam and Christianity all come from the same source with the same teachings but um .... fuck them .... and the Jehovah's Witnesses especially, just for being mind controlling freaks and creepy as fuck. 

THEY KILLED US ON 9/11!!!!!! .... We've been killing their lot on their home ground for centuries but now you've just noticed. Ah the tribalism has kicked in.

     Sick of seeing these picture yet? 

We are all ONE race. You hate others because they are different or their ways annoy you and maybe you just don't get it. Some of their kind offended you so damn them all right? ... well so much for good sense. 

You were bitten by a dog so all dogs are cunts? Stop being a wuss. Scared by clowns? No, you are just a drama queen. Clowns are lame and stupid, not scary. Why do you run from ghosts Scooby Doo? Just turn round and deck em, carry a fucken blade you stoner dog. 

Don't fall for the shite that society gives you. The likes of Boris Johnson saying that Blacks have a lower IQ ... some do and some don't, just like over privileged white people. The Queen, the Royal family and rich people .... not better than anyone else, they just had some good fortune combined with money. 

 Couldn't get into the Air force huh? .... yeah me neither.

White people, not better than anyone else, they just happened to be born white. Your next life you might be the opposite sex on the far side of the world. White pride, brown pride, black pride just lets say idiot pride. 

You don't see rich people with 'rich pride' t-shirts. Cause and effect are the rules of the universe. Good luck and bad luck are a matter of perspective, as are good and evil. 

Who is global warming bad for? Do you reckon the cockroaches really care? Does Hillary worry about the environmental harm that fracking does from her home in the Hamptons? .... she doesn't care, it's not in her back yard.  

You can work hard all your life and not get ahead. You get ahead and lose it all in divorce or if you get sick. You can be born in a wealthy home, given a million dollars and think that you only got to where you are today by hard work so others must be lazy. 

Shit happens, sometimes good shit and sometimes bad shit. A car jumps the kirb and kills you ... bad luck right? Not for the person it missed. Then there were all the times a car didn't kill you. 

You only remember the bad events. 

All Lives Matter may have been created as a one-upmanship thing to Black Lives Matter but all lives do matter. 
To someone probably. 

I wouldn't say that a sex offending woman beater's live matters that much or that cunt that honour killed his sister. Would you piss on a pedo that was on fire?

It's all a matter of perspective but you need to make sure yer moral compass isn't effected by the magnetism of prejudice because you bought into what you've been told or that you've only had negative experiences.

It gets harder as the world gets smaller and news becomes overwhelming to see what matters and even to see what is right. Why have restrictions on guns when criminals will get them anyways? Well you won't remember all the times a nutter wasn't able to get a semi-automatic rifle and kill people.  

Excuses and whataboutery. Lets see people as human not a colour, if they chose to be a dick then hate them for that. 
If a cop kills an unarmed man then prosecute him as you would a gang banger that did the same. 

Violence is only the solution when defending yourself and others. Killing someone because you were afraid and panicked means that maybe you weren't trained and vetted enough. Maybe over worked and under appreciated or faced with never ending stress that you are unable to cope with. 

When all you see is the bad side of humanity then after a while that is what you'll expect.

It shouldn't be them and us, it should just be us. Not all lives matter to everyone but being an asshole often matters more because it effects others. It really isn't that difficult a concept.   

Monday, 18 July 2016

World Ginger Cure Day

Prince Harry had his blood tested at a London clinic to finally find out who his real father is. It has been long rumoured that his real father is cavalry officer James Hewitt or maybe one of several palace servants and possibly a civil servant from Norway. 

If it was Old Knudsen he takes after his Ma and you can't be ordered to pay back dated child support if they are adults right?   

 Call that a necklace, you're a total loser ha ha ha! 

"I just cannot believe I share his DNA, I refuse to believe it"  .... said the Prince. Unless there is a number of sudden deaths in the Royal family then Harry has no chance at getting to the Iron Throne. "Will and Kate keep popping them out, they are planning on having at least 6 or 7 more" added the despondent prince who is sick of seeing baby pictures on his Face Book feed. He even had to stop others from being able to tag him.   

 James Hewitt and Prince Harry or Prince Harry and James Hewitt.

A more serious side to the blood test is that Harry also wants to raise awareness for gingerism which affects 2% of the werld's population. He hopes for a cure someday as he doesn't want his own children to be born with such an awful disability. Damian Lewis, Eddie Redmayne and that guy from Harry Potter joined the prince for 'World Ginger Cure Day' or G-Day. 

Dr Bill Hogg at Guys and St. Thomas' Hospital in London said, " it must be terrible for them being so ..... different. I want normal people to see that gingers are people too not disgusting creatures that should be killed with a large rock." Hogg knows the pain of gingerism as he had to give up his son for adoption when it he was found to be ginger. 

"Well I don't have the recessive gene, must be my ex-wife" said the doctor defensively.

Am I the only one that has to add like BBQ sass to beans otherwise I can't eat them? 

Old Knudsen doesn't know how he does it. How can you look a ginger in the eye and tell them there is nothing they can do for them? How do people in the medical profession bare to even touch them, sure they use rubber gloves but still.  
They are better people than I for it would be difficult to keep a poker face. Looking at some of my own weeping boils has me throwing up in me mouth for fucks sake. I lost 12 LBS throwing up after those make up free selfies became a thing. Use a filter for fucks sake, children might see it.  

Of course the elephant in the room that gets ignored is that ginger people will also have ginger pubes. Prince Harry wouldn't go into details but the lad from Harry Potter shaves them as do his ginger pals. Laser treatment for ginger pubes is available on the NHS are are support groups for families of gingerism.

I'm only kidding of course. Ginger people are fine, nothing wrong with Christina Hendricks because she has massive baps they are just like you and I. I'm all for setting up the 2% of the werld's population on an island somewhere, not too hot obviously. 

Lets show these ginger abominations people the compassion and understanding that nature has denied them ... or we can just nuke em. 


Saturday, 16 July 2016

Turkey Coup More Like A Chicken Coop

So there was this odd coup in Turkey. No one knows who was responsible for it and it wasn't a bloody and well organized as they usually are. 161 dead, that wasn't trying very hard was it?

Over the past few years President Erdogan has been ruling Turkey pandering to the Islam Extremists by buying oil, having open borders and just not acting while also being a friend to the West.

Turkey has been vital to the west ever since JFK had secret missiles there pointing at the USSR. Today the US use Incirlik air base to launch numerous missions from. Turkey knows its strategic value and has used it as leverage to become a member of the EU which is hasn't completely managed yet.

Fethullah Gulen, Turkey's second most powerful person. 

Erdogan blames an exiled cleric living in the US for the coup but that seems very unlikely. Fethullah Gulen has lived in the US since the 90's and denies just about everything. Still powerful he says he had nothing to do with the coup or the 2014 investigations into corruption among senior members of  Erdogan's AK Party which have led to a number of police commissioners being sacked and to some of Erdogan's allies being arrested.

Gulen had schools in Turkey that Erdogan had closed down. The 75 year-old former Iman believes in science, altruism, hard work and education and has held dialogue with Jewish organizations and the Vatican. Not something Erdogan supports. He is on Turkey's most wanted terrorist list .... yeah the US would totally take him in if he was a terrorist .... not!

He believes freedom of religion and belief to be compatible with Islam. He has said that you can't be a Muslim if you are a terrorist. He's a cool guy, no wonder Erdogan hates him. His movement is called Hizmet or Jamaat and has millions of followers in Turkey and abroad. 

The soldiers in the coup thought they were doing military exercises and gave up pretty easily. Now there have been theories that it could be the CIA who had a recent failed coup in Yemen if you remember or more likely it was Erdogan himself.

He had to have known that something was going to happen otherwise why talk peace and friendship with countries that Turkey have been abrasive with for years? It's like he was making sure he had allies for something. Then he made sure he was on holiday while shit went down just enough time for him to return and stop it.

This coup doesn't seem very serious as there wasn't a social media blackout, we saw a few tanks and some blood. What happened next was a lot of soldiers surrendering and getting arrested, 2,745 judges getting dismissed and a call for Turks to rise up against the traitors.

Hitler and Stalin have done similar things to get rid of opposition. Bush used 9/11 (though he didn't do 9/11) to get the Patriot act passed and to invade other countries. Other nations have been careful not to support Erdogan but instead support the democracy that elected him.

Turkey have a terrorism problem with the Kurds and they also don't want to be a target for ISIS so Erdogen has become more authoritarian rejecting Turkey becoming a modern secular society. He is still playing both sides. It's a balancing act which means we (the west) can't fully back the Kurds without pissing off Turkey who we need. Which is why we pretend not to notice when Turkey bombs them. 

What should happen next will be to round up some scapegoats (the opposition) which will ensure that from now on there aren't too many of the wrong questions being asked and people may think twice about accusing Turkey of enabling ISIS.      

By blaming Gulen he can go full tilt at his followers ..... the men of science .... the intellectuals. Like I've said, we've seen this before.

Friday, 15 July 2016

Movie Poster Gun Control

Lena Dunham who made a TV shows called Girls which I've never watched because it sounds lame and I doubt has any hand to hand combat and explosions in it has put out a call to peel off the guns on the new Jason Bourne movie posters. 

12 Commie libtard lefties liked this.

She is tired of guns, well Old Knudsen is tired of idiots but he doesn't go around destroying things. Public restrooms are different as he has a medical condition. When she was tired of that Happy song did she go around like a room without a roof?

Many mickles will so muck you up if you messith with me. 

When George Washington wasn't betraying the crown and weeping openly in front of his men he was crushing British baby skulls with his robot hand and shooting at his slaves if they weren't werking hard enough. 
He loved guns, he once said, "My dearest Martha, the thought of you, ball gag in your mouth getting taken from behind by several enemy soldiers makes me hard but so does firing my semi-automatic assault musket - your eternal servant the Big G.W."   

Taken from his personal correspondence. So you see, when Dunham (name sounds very British to me) tears off Bourne's gun she is tearing off a piece of liberty that Washington fought General Cornwallis to the death for at the siege of Yorktown. 

Dunham who once boasted of her multi-tasking skills of taking a dump while celebrating her naked hedonistic birthday party is probably a commie too. 

Old Knudsen doesn't believe in judging others but she looks the type to be all about feminism and equality then gets upset when you don't give up yer bus seat for a pregnant woman .... what's it to be for fucks sake?  

Jason Bourne bravely served his cuntry until his employment was terminated when he got dementia and she spits upon his rights to wave a gun about. Yes, Old Knudsen is angry. 

 I said raise yer hand when you have a fucken question.
Bourne served in the United States Marine Corps and then in Delta Force, 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment-Delta if you must know. I served with them in the town of Beaverlick, Kentucky doing classified toxin experiments on the population.  I can't go into details or give you any information about it what so ever but they were a tough bunch of lads and didn't flinch or shirk their duty even during the execution and burning body stage of the operation began.
If yer ever in Beaverlick I'd advise you to bring yer own bottled water and don't eat local produce, no reason.  

Veterans have a hard enough time when they go crazy and shoot and bomb people without Dunham who to the best of my knowledge has dodged serving getting at them about guns. 

As you know the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a robot packed with explosives, will Dunham be peeling off parts of the Wall.e 2 poster?

Sure, look to Europe, gun crime is down there because their posters don't have guns on them. Liam Neeson movies also lose money there because none of his movies can get advertised there.

Well lil miss commie, a bad guy can go into a shop and buy a movie poster with a gun on it with no questions asked and none of yer a peeling to yer fans will do a thing to stop it.