Friday, 24 June 2016

Somme Fun For All The Family

The battle of the Somme was one of the most deadliest of WWI. It took so many young men from the north of Ireland (not yet Northern Ireland) that when WWII came along the memory of the slaughter was still fresh enough that no one rushed to join up. Even today the brave lads of Ulster would rather join criminal gangs than serve in the military or police.   

For 7 days the allies bombarded the German lines before sending the first troops over on 1st July 1916. This tactic of bombardment had never been tried before. The Germans were safe deep in their trenches and sat out the bombing, these battle hardened Krauts had good defenses and plenty of heavy machine guns and no doubt smelled like cabbage and strong beer.

I'm hit but don't want to get hurt falling.

The British, Irish, Canadian, South African and Indian troops were ill equipped and poorly trained but the generals were confident. On the first day 19, 240 British soldiers were killed. At the southern part of the Somme the Germans lost 6,000 men to the French and even lost some ground but a counter attack regained that back.

The fighting went on for five months.  In Belfast last weekend there was a commemoration of the Somme. In Northern Ireland Loyalists forget that everyone here (their ancestors) were Irish not British and only remember the soldiers of the UVF that fought at the Somme.

Every celebration in Northern Ireland sounds the same, flute bands full of fat fucks in pseudo military costumes marching with banners. They all look miserable and shoot dirty looks about. The Catholic ones wear those aviator sun glasses that were popular because of Top Gun cos they think it makes them look .... well I don't know what they think, they all look like twats.  

No spider man inflatables no happy smiling faces. This was a commemoration not a celebration though it was just as happy as a celebration over here .... we don't do happy.

Loads of fat bodies that you wouldn't have seen in 1916 but the poor marching abilities were the same as it was recorded that the Irish troops (UVF) were not natural soldiers. So many fake rifles, the Irish down south did all this for the Easter rising, people here just like to play dress up.

Of course I doubt that most of these cunts ever served, their cap badges look to be of the Royal Irish Rifles that went on to be the Royal Ulster Rifles in WWII. A brave and proud regiment that went on to Palestine and Korea. They became one of the first airborne regiments before all that became obsolete.   

    Help me I'm a Protestant and I've fallen down a Fenian hole. 

Like the 2nd Amendment row in the US no right minded vet wants a load of civvies waving assault rifles around. I doubt those from WWI would want a load of civvies playing dress up. Remember them for what happened, don't go making it look gallant and shit, the volunteers didn't have a clue what they were getting into and war is fucken stupid, especially WWI which was a royal family feud.

The way Generals fight wars is usually how the last war was fought so there were still tales of valiant charges against ill equipped savages. The thought was that a bombardment and men with rifles could easily do the job. They didn't realise that the Germans had put some thought into it and saw the future of war as a few men shooting out hundreds of bullets per minute. 

 Exactly what it was like. mowed grass no barbed wire and no bomb craters full of water for soldiers to drown in.

General Kitchener’s "Pal’s battalions" were hit hard. Buddies had joined up together to fight and whole villages often lost all their young men. Recruitment drives were aimed at pals because it encouraged more to enlist, peer pressure along with having a jolly good adventure. 

  Bet he has neck tattoos too.

From German accounts they saw 10 -20 men of the 36th Ulster division charging their position. Being artillery they didn't have side arms and would have had to surrender when the tommies got to them. Luckily the British started to bomb the German trenches but being British they fucked it up and friendly fired their own men saving the Germans from capture. 

The Ulster Division lost more than half its men but you'd think it was only them at the Somme the way Loyalists get on.
I understand historical reenactments like the US civil war ones and even the battle of Hastings etc but is the battle of the Somme really fit family entertainment? I suppose it's like having a center to make money on the Titanic sinking. 1,517 people drown when the Titantic sank ..... lol, that's £17.50 per adult please.
This is Somme fun. 

A million men wounded or killed but hey lets have Loyalists bands marching and fat cunts running about wearing sashes shouting beng beng ..... the Belfast accent.   

I think it's too soon. Yeah it was 4 generations ago but those running across a field and playing dead represent your great grandfathers, grandfathers and great uncles, they were your kin and now you are cheering as they drop down dead. In reality they may be ripped apart by shrapnel, cut down by machine gun fire or just flop down dead with some lucky shot. Maybe they fell into a crater and drown or had an artery nicked and died at a makeshift field hospital.  

You can watch Black Adder or Atonement for entertainment but don't bring your kids to this sort of shite. Look little Timmy that's how your 21 year-old great great uncle died lol! ..... lest we forget. 


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