Monday, 27 June 2016

Off The Hook

I my life time music has gone from vinyl to cassette to CD and now to Download. In 50 years we'll have social media chips in our skulls and have our music beamed there. Thankfully U2 will be dead and won't force their "free" albums that we have to pay for later unless we opt out unto us. "Aw crap I've got this song stuck in my head ... literally."

Social media chips will be as compulsory as having a Twitter account. What you don't even have a skull book? ... check out the geezer. It will become law to get them when politicians have their people buy shares in the company under a name you can't link to them.

"I just happen to think this law is necessary .... um no reason."

While the automobile stays the same with the same mileage as when it was first made, phones have also changed big time.
With all these changes the newer generations will have to pay attention if they want to know what it was like in ye olden days. Phones with curly cords and dials. My Ma was one of the last hold outs to change her phone from a rotary dial to buttons. British Telecom had to force her as dial phones wouldn't work with the changing times .... press the hash key, no not that one the pound key! .... the number sign for fucks sake!     

In the Foo Fighter's Walk video Dave Grohl goes to a payphone to make a call only to find how the times are a changing. 

Now a days when I see a payphone in the street I do a double take. There will be a time when they vanish completely unless you go to places like butt fuck India.  


All those movies that have the hero racing to pick up payphones to meet some ransom demands will no longer make sense. Not that they made sense anyways. What cop can run 2 miles? Old Knudsen would say, "fuck it, kill em, I don't do running".

Depeche Mode's song Personal Jesus (which Marilyn Manson ripped off for the theme to Salem) has the werds, 'Flesh and bone By the telephone Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer' what the fuck is a receiver? says a young person

It's the two buttons people frantically push down in movies when the phone is dead. Like cross walk buttons .... why isn't this fucken changing? .... if I keep pushing it it'll change. 

People will say "off the hook" but won't connect it to 'off the peg' clothing or a constantly ringing phone. There will be idiot Facebook memes that say, 'click LIKE if you've ever heard a dial tone' or did you know that ringtones comes from the way telephones would sound in the olden days? .... they would ring. Off the hook means it's great or some such shite, young people are idiots.

When bad meant cool and sick meant good I decided that young people needed wicked awesome slaps to the hed.

 What up dawg?

I used to smile when I heard someone with a ringing cell phone, ah someone that remembers how phones sounded, then everyone did that and it became annoying. Like how everyone and their dog gets a fucken tattoo now. 

The Ultravox song All Stood Still has, 'Please remember to mention me In tapes you might leave behind' what the fuck are tapes asks the young gormless person. I'm not even gonna mention 8 tracks cos they weren't big in the UK. They can be left to cunts in movies that think they are cool cos they listen to an old format.
It sounds more authentic .... fuck aff! do musicians have white noise machines at concerts to make their music sound crap? 

Language changes along with the times. The 2nd amendment kinda meant inaccurate muskets as rifles weren't even a thing. A rifle has a grove inside its barrel which makes the bullet spin thus making it faster, more accurate and with better range.
Muskets were tubes that lead balls flew out of. Like a fuzzy with an RPG it takes more luck than skill to hit the target.

Now you have the NRA calling assault rifles (something the military could use) as sporting rifles, go fuck. Those rifles are meant for war which is in no way what war is ..... sporting.  

This is the type of AR-15 the Orlando shooter used. In yer face libtards it's a The Sig Sauer MCX . Lol lol lol, you are sooo stoopid.   


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