Monday, 16 May 2016

Why We Should Be More Like Hitler

Boris Johnson the idiot Mayor of London just compared the EU to Hitler's plans of werld domination. Firstly, doesn't Boris Johnson sound like something a German would call his penis? And secondly is all this comparing everyone to Hitler really a bad thing?

President Bush got compared to Hitler and so did Obama. Ach you invade a few wee unimportant cuntries then all of a sudden yer a Austrian German with a funny mustache.

I seem to mention Hitler a lot, then again so does everyone else. Everybody loved him, his speeches had the best words and he was at the top of every poll. He wanted to build a wall around Warsaw so the Jews would be safe from antisemitic haters still mad that they killed Jesus but Hitler had 150,000 Jews in his military so you can't really call him antisemitic ... well except for the death camps that killed 6 million but hey, lets not focus on the negative, this is an up lifting inspiring post.

       Even Hitler got choked up at Schindler's list .... what, too soon? 

It wasn't easy being Hitler. He just didn't roll out of bed, eat some vegetables, took his pills that contained the fecal matter of a vigorous Bavarian peasant and make Germany great again. He had to get rid of the older generation of politician that signed the ceasefire during WWI even though Germany wasn't even losing. He had to form his own private army of thugs and then a better army then kill off the previous thug leaders cos they were buggering each other .... ach it was hard time for the WWI vet of average height. 

When people talk about veterans and how they should get homes, healthcare and jobs before anyone else, just remember that Hitler and Timothy McVeigh were vets. 

What have you done with yer life that you can judge Hitler and his one testicle and micro penis?    

There were always haters. In fact there were 35 failed assassination attempts on his life. Mostly having a schedule that only a few knew about and that changed all the time probably saved him. Be unpredictable as he mentioned in his book Mein Art Of The Dealinchen.    

35 failed attempts and being a teetotaler vegetarian would be enough to break many people. You might get depressed and say 'what's the point of invading the werld, no one likes me'  but what we can learn from Hitler is that though not everyone shares yer opinion, so what? You can't control the actions and werds of others except the ones you don't put into death camps so don't worry about them. 

Oh and keep yer treaties with the Russians and don't trust the fucken Japs. Know yer limits and don't take on too much of a werk load. Did you never hear about Napoleon? (another person of average height) no one ever wants to think they are Napoleon but he was a brilliant leader that won the majority of his battles and the victory against him at Waterloo was a close thing.    

Like Hitler he was the leader of a cuntry he didn't even belong to, reincarnation anyone?

Some might hide behind bullet proof glass but Hitler made the decision that if fate decides it to happen then it will happen. He stood in his open topped cars and took his chances. The only precautions were that the cars were rigged to explode if taken and had concealed handguns in the doors. 

Archduke Ferdinand and JFK just got unlucky or their shooters got lucky, depending on yer perspective. 

Hitler enjoyed Electronic synthpop ... now ve dance.  

Don't live every day like it is yer last as rape and looting Wal Mart still gets frowned upon in this day and age. Live it with the acceptance that control is an illusion and if you think you've thought through every scenario then yer a fool. Other people might have different plans than you and things may not go how you had planned. 
Fate is a giant spiderweb and one person a million miles away can set into motion events that dictate things. Thanks to that cunt you have to take off yer shoes at the airport. Thanks to those cunts you can't own a handgun in the UK. Thanks to people making meth they take out the Pseudoephedrine from cold medications and now it's fucken useless ... go buy meth it's a lot easier than making it out of cold medication. 

Who did the UK gun laws save? maybe the parent of the person that cures cancer. Maybe a TSA werker sick of smelling feet invents a great odour eater and maybe someone that couldn't shake their cold phoned in sick and old drunken Harry had to fly the plane instead.   

 Hitler likey.

Be a leaf on the wind and what will be will be. Enjoy the little things in like like looking at a nice pair of tits and saving it to yer wank bank for later. If yer worrying about everything then you aren't really living, something has to change. 

We as humans have the ability to block out unpleasant thoughts. If I thought about the food being chewed in my mouth I'd gag or if I watched those slaughter house videos that people think is a good idea to put up on SOCIAL media then maybe I'd stop eating meat ..... only kidding, I don't mind animals being killed if they are tasty animals. 

Cannibalism is only a social taboo because of uptight fuckers who will eat bacon but ignore the fact that the savages of Papa New Guinea call human meat Long pig.     
When we fixate on something we have no control over we get angry and sad, most of us will sign a petition and have forgotten about it by bed time and will not lose any sleep. Do you think Obama loses sleep over all the children and civilians his drones has killed? Nah he's too busy planning his next humorous video or speech to care .... isn't he so cool? 

Don't worry about climate change, since no one knows the temperature that the Earth should actually be this is just humans being selfish about their cities being flooded. Fuck humans, the Earth will continue long after we're dead and who caused the Ice age to end? .... I'd better not say anything against climate change as I'd be branded a witch cos scientists are never wrong. 

 I could help you in the past but I'm a cunt.

Things in the past are done, you can't change them so stop fixating over them. Things in the future can go either way, you have no control over it so stop worrying about it. 

Think about the present and enjoy the now. Unless yer a brain surgeon with the top of someone's skull open you should ask yerself, 'what's the worst that could happen?' .... usually the worst is not a death camp or becoming a refugee and getting turned away by racists that think yer a terrorist. 

If yer reading this you are online and have access to the knowledge of the werld. Sure spend that time looking at cat videos if you want if that makes you happy but remember that there is always someone worse off than you.  You are worse off than me because yer not me.

Whatever problem comes up you deal with that. You go to bed worrying and can't sleep and all that happens is you end up tired and yer worries are still there. Not being in control is why people pray to God and look how that has fucked up the world. 

We've just got to accept that bad things or good things happen no matter what. Karma doesn't exist because bad people get away with shit all the time but when they do get punished we suddenly believe in it. You reap what you sow was what Jesus once said to Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes but it doesn't always happen.

The werld is set up for cunts because good guys finish last. Fuck the werld and do what you want as long as you aren't being a dick. The butterfly effect is real because cause and effect is real though not always obvious to us at the time. Yet another cliche Hindsight is 20/20 but still the complete chain of events is never seen by our tiny brains. 

If Eve wasn't so gullible she wouldn't have eaten the forbidden fruit and now weemen suffer child birth pain. The first woman Lilith would have told that snake to fuck off and take yer manipulation elsewhere.  

Just be the best you and not a douche bag. Say what the fuck and be like Hitler, just look at his little smiling face. If after 35 attempts on his life he can still enjoy Clarke Gable movies and check out some titties then you can too. If more people were like Bernie Sanders then the world would be a better place. If more people were like Jimmy Carter, Martin Luther King, Audrey Hepburn, or JK Rowling the world would be cleaner with healthy well educated people in it. Even all those unnamed people working for Médecins Sans Frontières, Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch. 

Or the person that gives up their seat on the bus for someone that looks like they needed it more.    

If you are worried just shrug and say, "I want to be like Hitler" and let the world come at you bro cos you can take it whatever it maybe and you'll look back and wonder why you worried so much.       

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