Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Caught In An Abusive Relationship With Windows 10

It started the way it always does, something new comes along and shows you the attention that you need. A wee window box appeared on my computer screen and when I clicked on it. I was told that Windows 10 was ready for me ... but was I ready for it?

I had heard some things about it so I wasn't sure. On the other hand it wanted me.I flirted and clicked 'ask me later' yearning for the question to come up again and hoping I wasn't playing it too cool.   

Eventually it asked me again and I clicked yes....oh please yes (not the actual button's name) and it then said, 'your copy of Windows 10 has been reserved'  .... OMG had it lost interest in me? What the fuck was I thinking?

I was hurt. The tiny icon was still on my desktop and now and again I'd click it to relive my rejection all over again.

I doubt you'd understand my pain unless you've lived it.

One day out of the blue a window came up saying that Windows 10 was ready. I could hardly believe it, was I ready? Out of shame and guilt I postponed it in order to get my head around it. Then I was asked for a time to schedule it.

This was really happening, maybe I did deserve good things in life.

The time I had scheduled came and went with no change. I scheduled it again thinking it was me or I had made a mistake. Again it didn't happen and I didn't awake to a lovely Windows 10. A screen popped up and told me it was ready to download and I'd have to re-start my computer several times.

It wasn't a great time for me but it insisted so I clicked to download and went on Twitter on my phone.

After an hour it was almost done, it asked if I wanted my picture folders all rearranged .... I didn't want it looking at those pictures for fear of judging me so I said no. 

Windows 10 was blue and modern looking and on my computer. Sure there was an extra picture to click away when you turn your machine on and sure many of the programs were just gone. Windows 10 would look after all that stuff, you don't have to worry about getting rid of programs you didn't want installed.

You just didn't need to worry your pretty little head about anything and don't even go into the settings cos you'll not find what you need .... leave the computing to the experts at Windows and go look at some cat videos.

I was happy to know my place, Windows 10 would look after me. I wouldn't give it cause to look at other computers.

New relationships can be an adventure, we were learning about each other .... I was learning that Microsoft had more access to my computer and it was no doubt learning all about me thanks to those updates I could now not refuse to do.

While I was looking at some hilarious cat videos a box flashed up and said, 'we just deleted your anti-virus program ... um if didn't work with Windows 10, yeah that's it, try our own dodgy Defender program that you've never heard of.'

But but I've had Trend Micro for years and I've never had a problem. I just paid a hundred quid for a re-renewal the other month and you deleted it without telling me?  

The box kept popping up to turn Defender on .... away an fuck, that is the last straw.

I went into settings and found how to turn my computer back to Windows 7. A box came up that said I'd never find a program as good as Windows 10 because I wasn't worth it, I deleted its ass and got Windows 7 back and reinstalled my anti-virus.

I had a close call and now I am no longer Windows 10's bitch .... away an fuck, I have taken control of my life again,I am Knudsen,hear me roar. 

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