The rallies of Donald Trump had me reminiscing of the German-American Bund rallies of the 30's. The one at Madison Square Gardens in 1939 had thousands of Americans (at least 25,000 in the organization) cheering for George Washington, the first American fascist.
Fritz Kuhn a WWI vet (German Army) gave speeches about American ideals and how we needed to protect our wives and children from the slimy parasite hands of
A Jewish-American plumber Isadore Greenbaum from the crowd tried to get onto the stage but Kuhn had uniformed members as security that beat the fuck out of him enough that his trousers were torn off him.
America needs to be great again like it was in 1939. The only person to make it great again is Donald J Trump ... because he says so and rich people don't lie.
I sat down with Trump at his mansion in the Hamptons to ask those questions that need to be asked.
You plan to make the US military strong which implies that now they are a bunch of weak pussies, how do you intend to do that?
"Concrete is strong, I have friends that make concrete, we will put tiny amounts of concrete into rations and pills that the military will take to make them strong and at a good price too."
Have you consulted a doctor about this, will it not harm them?
"I consult Donald J Trump, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, concrete is strong."
You've said how you'll destroy ISIS, how will you do that?
"I will go to Islam with a big bomb made out of concrete and will drop it on ISIS"
If only all the Generals and tacticians had gone into business than all that useless military training huh.
"I served in the military so I know war, I war to win .... somebody needs to write that down."
I thought you were just in a military school that handed out medals for neatness.
"Excuse me for one minute .... Enrique!"
That was when he grabbed a golden baseball bat and went out to beat the pool boy into a pulp for disturbing his line of sight. I looked around the walls of his study at all the family photos mostly of his daughter Ivanka lying by the pool or her sleeping in her underwear and one of her in the shower. Trump came back into the room and was given a wet wipe for his hands.
You have a lot of photos of Ivanka up on the walls, you must be very proud of her.
"My daughter has a great body and she never got fat while pregnant with our I mean her first child Theodore, she's still very sexy and now produces Trump milk."
What are your plans for the American economy when you get elected?
"We stimulate it with spending, the poor aren't really poor, they always have some money they are hiding so we'll make everyone pay for Trump stamps, the more stamps you have the more things like clean water, food and education you can get and those who don't pay go to the Trump camps for the unAmerican."
That isn't very PC and possibly morally wrong, what do you say to people who say that?
"When I'm president I won't hear that because we'll have a lot of camps. I don't have time to be PC or moral. I have rights too and disabled people, Muslims and fat ugly broads prevent America from being great, if Americans vote for me they obviously want what comes next."
Is it true that you marry immigrants because no American wants to do that kind of work?
"I marry beautiful women who can't argue very well in English and immigrants are cheap to marry because they don't know what they are entitled to. I tell them to stand there and look pretty and they do it because I'm rich."
Who will you make as your Vice President?
"Carson, Christie and little Rubio are all sucking up for that but I think I'll offer it to Ted Cruz, just so I can laugh at him not being the president. I'll send him medical reports on how healthy I am just to rub it in."
"Will you be mentioning the pool boy in your article?"
I wasn't paying much attention to the blood splattering but I might.
"When Donald J Trump is president he may need someone to write his life story for an incredible amount of money, he only picks loyal people, just keep that in mind."
Our interview was cut short when an employee reminded Trump about his emergency tanning session, it's a pity as I was just about to ask about penis size, I had a ruler and everything.
Is a strong concrete military so bad? Also why would you want un-American types wandering around yer nation like it was socialist Europe or something? Maybe Trump isn't so bad, Old Knudsen might have to dig out his US passport and cast a few votes in Florida.