Saturday, 30 April 2016

Ken Livingstone Is A Twat But He Is Right

Ken Livingstone is a politician that cares about the people to some and a commie mouthpiece to others. The former Mayor of London recently said Hitler supported Zionism and had a policy to move Jews to Israel. He said "He was supporting Zionism before he went mad and ended up killing six million Jews." 

Now Labour is heading up an anti-Semitism panel to make up some guidelines of what you can and cannot say. Don't use Hitler and Israel in the same sentence .... also don't blame Israeli soldiers when they shoot children and hey, where the IRA really that bad? Lets call them Freedom Fighters instead of cowardly scumbags.

Semantics .... or Anti-Semantics.  

The Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, told the World Zionist Congress, "Hitler didn't want to exterminate the Jews, but only to expel them." 

Livingstone is saying that if that dick can say it then so could he. No one accuses Netanyahu of being anti-Semitic. A war mongering bigot but never a Jew hater.

With Gerry Adams in 1983, the year in which the IRA killed 6 when they targeted a busy street full of Christmas shoppers with a car bomb near Harrods in London. 
Livingstone and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn have a long history of talking shite and sympathizing with the wrong side. As a history expert I can tell you that Livingstone is wrong .... Israel didn't exist then.

However The Haavara Agreement of 1933 did set up Jews for to emigrate from Germany to Palestine. This of course stopped when WWII started in 1939. Yes Americans it started in 1939, not 1941.

1933 was also the year that Dachau concentration camp was opened. The first of the camps it held mostly German Communists, Bernie Sanders Social Democrats and trade unionists. Over time Jehovah Witnesses, gheys and gypsies were sent there too but not too many Jews in those early years. Over those years they stripped the Jews of rights such as German citizenship and barred them from certain professions like law and medicine, 1939 marked the huge expansion for Nazi death camps rounding up Jews that were still there.

So yeah Hitler helped Zionism, it doesn't mean he believed or supported it. Do you really think he believed the Jews should be in Jerusalem in case that fictional slacker Jesus came back? He used the Jews as a scapegoat to further his career as Trump would use Muslims and Mexicans.

People and their knee jerk reaction have jumped ol Ken about this but he is being historically correct. Some facts are not popular though such as Lincoln not giving a fuck about slavery and Jefferson (all men are equal) being quite partial to a bit of slave rape and he didn't want to free them either cos it would be too difficult and they'd have to deport them in case they wanted revenge. Don't forget Reagan selling weapons to Iran while making drug deals in Central America.   
Hitler didn't go mad, I doubt he was ever insane. I believe that he committed evil atrocities in the manner of hey it isn't us so who cares? Like politicians voting not to take in 3000 refugee children. Or exporting all the food out of Ireland while a potato blight starves the poor. Evil comes in many forms, some of them are more socially acceptable than others and is often done by a lack of action. 

Evil is real and is most often done by sane people.



Wednesday, 27 April 2016

Batman Takes On Genocide

I'm sorry for your loss, I know loss, did I mention my parents are dead? 

George Clooney was presenting an Aurora Prize for Awakening Humanity which was established on behalf of the survivors of the Armenian genocide.

It has been 101 years since the genocide in the Ottoman Empire which was in 1915. It is thought that 1.5 million Armenians died but Turkey has said it was more like 300,000 - 500,000 and as many Turks died during the civil strife when the Armenians rose up in support of invading Russians so get off their backs and stop exaggerating.

During the 1800's Great Britain, France and Russia had been at the Ottoman Empire to reform how it treated its minorities. Christians and Jews were second class citizens and weren't even allowed a say when in court.

After the The Hamidian massacres which killed 100,00 - 300,000, a Young Turk revolution in 1908 which was over thrown in 1909 and then the Adana massacre which followed that killed 20,000 - 30,000 Armenians there were the Balkan wars of 1912.
This was the Ottoman Empire against Bulgaria, Serbia, Greece and Montenegro. Many Muslim refugees fled to areas traditionally known to have Armenians living there. This increased tensions and the need to get rid of the Armenians.

Why this talk about Armenia? Sure it's one of the forgotten genocides because our ally Turkey doesn't like it to be mentioned.
I don't know if you've noticed but the west doesn't like to upset Turkey as they are a key nation in the fight against ISIS and maybe Assad but are strategically important to launch attacks from and to intimidate Russia.   

Turkey plays both sides and gets a free pass to kill Kurds and buy ISIS oil as long as it doesn't go full retard Islamic Extremist.

The Belfast Telegraph had Clooney's speech at the awards, "We honour the million and a half lives that were lost 101 years ago. And we honour those lives by calling their tragedy by its true name. Genocide. The Armenian Genocide."

He talked about how his family the Clooneys fled the potato famine and only survived because of the kindness of others and how refugees who are just people like us need that help too. 

The Aurora award went to Marguerite Barankitse who cared for children and orphans during the Burundi civil war.

The comments on the Bel Tel page kinda pissed me off. Smug arm chair warriors telling Clooney to butt out and fix American problems and real smooth talking about your own family during an Armenian commemoration.

ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID? Yeah I suppose they are. The award show just wasn't about Armenians it was also about helping others too and celebrating those that do. Yeah shame on him for highlighting an atrocity. Ach I told them off and said he was Batman and to suck on it ... yeah I'm a fucken werdsmith. 

You can't talk about the Armenian genocide in Turkey, it's illegal so I'll talk about it for them. In 1915 the Ottoman government set about getting rid of the 2 million Armenians living there through execution and deportation.

As with many massacres to do with ethnic cleansing, first hundreds of intellectuals were rounded up and killed. Then ordinary families where rounded up and forced on death marches through the Syrian desert where they were systematically robbed, raped and shot.  

Any Armenians in the Ottoman military were transferred to slave labour camps then ultimately executed by gangs of Turks. These Turks would also roam the countryside killing any Armenian they came across.

Armenian children kidnapped, converted to Islam and given to Turkish families. Armenian women were forced to join harems and Turks moved into the homes of deported or murdered Armenians.

In 1922 there were only 388,000 Armenians left in the Ottoman Empire.

In 1918 when the Ottoman Empire surrendered the Turks that committed the Genocide fled to Germany. Armenians tracked down the leaders to kill them in Operation Nemesis.

While Turkey denies there was genocide and that it was just war, the US government did recognize the slaughter as a genocide in 2010.

So well done George on being a decent human being and fuck the rest cos they are just jelly that they are not and never will be Batman! 

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Obama's No Fucks To Give Roadshow

In America we have freedom, we fought another George and we'll fight you too if we have to. 

Obama came over to the UK on his 'fuck you all I've handed in my notice and don't give a shit' tour. He met with the Queen who had to tell Philip to be quiet when he asked 'What ungo bongo country are you from?' Poor Phil, after years of being the undead he still hangs on to those old prejudices.  
He met with William and Kate who of course had to wheel out George the robot boy. Yeah yeah yeah cute kid, just wait till he gets older and his body stops growing hair on his head and puts all that energy into making his nose a foot long. 

All new Royals are made from 200 year-old sperm from Prince Albert. Queen Victoria loved Albert's cock and had 9 kids herself so she made him give lots of specimens which is what probably killed him. 

Obama did Cameron a solid by breaking the hearts of all those morons patriots that dream of having an empire again .... even though we cut our military to nothing and have been kicked out of most cuntries. 

The people that want to leave the European Union talk about how they'll renegotiate all trade agreements especially with the US. Obama said that maybe you'd like to hear what the President of the US thinks about that. 
He told it straight that the UK will have no influence once it leaves the world's largest economy and that any trade deals with the US will take like 10 years because fuck you Britain, to the back of the queue with you, yes behind Zimbabwe. 

 Who cares what Obama thinks, who put him in charge?

We have always said the Americans were rude, pushy and self entitled but that's describing the people that think they can renegotiate trade deals .... uh we'll just buy from any of the EU nations, they do stuff for way cheaper than you do, it's called competitive pricing.   

What does the UK have that everyone wants so badly? We buy coal from the US we get steel from China. Even Sherlock and Dr Who are shite now. Game of Thrones is only shot in Northern Ireland because we give them tax breaks and money, otherwise they'd be shooting in some Eastern Bloc cuntry, we can barely compete as a part of the EU. 

The land of Shakespeare. 

We just don't like the Germans, that's why. Yeah isn't Brussels in Germany? We fought the Germans twice (Americans and Russians may have helped) and we don't want to become just another part of the United States of Europe .... bloody foreigners and their fucking human rights and fair labour laws, fuck them with their high standards. We're British, we'll take any old shite and be grateful cos we know our place. 

Maybe we could bring back rationing, hanging and outlaw gheys ... women don't do as they are told so lets take away their right to vote and make them have babies if they are raped cos you know they were just asking for it anyways.   

If you are for leaving the EU I respect yer opinion, aye it may be stupid and you may be stupid for having it but I respect stupid people .... just changed my mind, please kill yerself and stop wasting air. 

Look at that fat headed cunt, I could have him killed and dumped at sea. 

Speaking of stupid people. Cameron can't be too friendly with Obama because what if Trump got elected? I bet Trump would give us some tremendous deals. As well as building a resort in Scotland he has been asked to rebuild Hadrian's wall to keep the English out if they want to leave the EU. Trump will make the Sassenach's pay for it, lets hope he gives us a good deal on those bricks. 


Monday, 25 April 2016

The Amazons Know Where You Live

What I imagine to happen every time I order off Amazon.

Ever since my friend who had no living family died suddenly leaving his bank card to me I've been ordering a lot off Amazon. I don't know what a Hercules Jogvision DJ control is but I have one. If my wax is ever cold I can put it into my wax warmer and my collection of beers, wines and spirits is coming along nicely.   

I don't buy just any old shite .... well I do but I often look at the reviews to tell me about the product as pictures don't tell you that the metal looking surface is just cheap plastic or that it doesn't work. Things also look bigger in the pics.

This person loved expandable pocket pussy and beads of woe but is that a helpful product review or just a feeling?  Can you tighten up the pussy if you had a micro penis for instance?

Yes you can ask questions and hope someone with a bit more gumption can answer you but do I want my friend to be remembered as someone with a micro penis?

Thanks, is that a review? Of course I hit the 'no' button and I hope they are properly sanctioned for wasting my time. How does this tell me anything about the TensCare itouch Sure Pelvic Floor Exerciser? There should be a 'fuck you very much' button. I'd tell these people what I thought of them except Amazon reviews your comments before publishing them .... as if they don't trust us.

This was from Sharon but I blurred the name to protect her identity .... her stoopid identity. We don't want yer life story, use the thing and then write a review you idiot. 

She hasn't used it but gives it 3 stars .... it only arrived yesterday doesn't say anything except that it arrived the day before today and that you haven't slapped some lube on it and shoved it in yet. No, that was not helpful Sharon.

Like writing an incident report. Instead of saying, 'At around 7pm The dark haired man walked over to the man in the red shirt and started shouting about alien invasions before punching the man in the red shirt and running off.'

Might as well right, 'It was violent' or 'A quick altercation.'  

There are worse reviews though.

Reviews about music usually invoke the failed music critic in many. This long and rambling piece goes into the 'read more' territory .... no thank you.

A review on Mumford & Sons .... how about dull, shite banjo music usually found in commercials, Dawson's Creek and elevators. If you like music then don't buy this.


Saturday, 23 April 2016

Stalking Your Ex

So you get a few drinks in you and want to know what yer ex is up to. They are bound to be unhappy and have probably never found anyone as good as you and who doesn't like to gloat? The restraining order and yer drone with the camera being hit by a bus prevents you from spying so you do a search of the Interwebs.

I am quite tech savvy for a silver surfer, I know that a server isn't just some snooty person that pretends not to see you when you need a top up. A dongle isn't a euphemism for a penis and if yer having cyber sex first check that you are USB compatible ... fuck that hurt.  

I think I'd remember her.

So I entered my various exes info into the computer .... database but there must have been a glitch in the matrix. Sorry if I'm confusing you with all this tech jargon, ya have ta keep up to date or you'll look like an idiot.
I even opened up my lap top at the back to see if the box of Internet was properly in. 

When you type in 'thick women' you do not get Old Knudsen's exes. Not even when you type, 'misguided junky hoors that needed the money' I suppose it would have been easier if I had remembered or had written down their names. I know there was a Cher but she didn't give me her last name.

I'm gonna send yon Mr Google an electronic mail to get him to sort it out or I'll switch to Yahoo in protest.  

Friday, 22 April 2016

Donald Trump Is True American

The Trump phenomena is an amazing insight to human and mob mentality. People wonder how Hitler could have gotten into power or how Nigel Farage or even Boris Johnston can have a following. If you remember to the Obama campaign he did a similar thing. He didn't say he'd make America hate great again, he said he'd bring hope and change.

It was no hope and the change he brought was Bush's policies but made bigger and badder. You can't do anything as president if there are 100 others at various levels of government fighting against you. You have to play ball.

Trump comes from privilege, he's never had to work a 9 - 5 or a minimum wage job flipping burgers. He was sent to expensive schools and was loaned a million bucks by his daddy to start up his property business. The man has no class or style, he gets on like Saddam Hussein and probably has golden toilet seats ... he thinks that gold is a classy wealthy colour.

He's aggressive, narcissistic and moody, he sounds more like a trucker than a billionaire, you expect to hear him say, "forget about it" a lot.

His fan base may sound like him and have no manners but that is the only similarity. They are usually working class or low class, they don't have a $100 million dollar yacht to sell when they get into financial trouble, they probably rent their homes/trailer and didn't excel academically and their spouse is probably their sibling .

How the fuck can they relate to a spoiled pampered billionaire?  

In the back of their heads they no doubt think that Trump is better than them because he is rich and because he says things they understand ... they like him. They don't demand details from Trump, they just think he'll magically do everything he is promising because they don't know how the world works.

When they imagine a wall on the Mexican border they think of a 50 foot tall one that is 20 feet thick with armed guards constantly alert and ready, not how expensive or how long it would take to build or the fact that you just aren't allowed to build on parts of the land president or not.  

They think he can bully Mexico to pay for it and bully other countries for better trade deals. "We want a better deal .... we have nukes, just sayin."

Former Grand Wizard David Duke (who is also not a racist) endorsed Trump. Many of Trump's policies appeal to white supremacists as like how Ukip's policies in the UK does.

Muslims (who are usually brown) and Mexicans (who are usually brown) and even blacks (who are usually brown) are blamed for today's problems, even women need to man the fuck up. You hear Trump saying The Blacks or The Latinos but never The Whites.


I've seen idiots (some of whom are black) demanding to know how Trump is racist. It's like they either can't figure it out themselves or need to hear the person say the N-word as they whip a slave.

Trump was sued for not renting to blacks, his father did the same thing. After Trump was sued he then just told blacks that there wasn't any apartments up for rent. That right there smacks of racism but that's in the past and doesn't count right? Like the Holocaust, get over it .... bygones people bygones.

All Trump's policies are hinged on being against ethnic people in some way. He also doesn't condemn racial violence done in his name and for years has hounded Obama for being a Kenyan Muslim .... He never hounded Clinton or Bush for anything.  

 He even quotes Mussolini on Twitter.       

Trump's voting base are not very bright and have issues. Dylann Roof spoke his mind, doesn't make him right or even honest. Saying what he thinks seems to be the main reason many like him. It's everyone else that is the problem.

They want things to change in their favour. Maybe bills that protects their religion by discriminating against others. Maybe to deport all the illegal aliens which obviously includes all other ethnics just in case. Maybe just stopping ethnic people coming into the country especially Muslims because we all know that they are terrorists.

For a cuntry founded by immigrants they have never liked immigrants. 

Like I said they aren't too bright and don't think or even care about the consequences as long as they get theirs. These are the same people that don't want anyone else to get ahead or to get a helping hand but they demand one for themselves.

The same people that hate socialism and government interference but once there is a flood they demand that FEMA saves them or if their house is on fire they expect fire fighters to put it out.

No one invested in them so why should anyone else get free college or healthcare? .... disabled people need to be ignored, unless they are disabled vets as then they'll pretend to care about them to score morality points.      

Some people just don't have empathy or common sense but the scary thing is that they do have a vote. 


Thursday, 21 April 2016

Mass Murderers Have Rights And Feelings Too

Remember when vikings were unstoppable war machines that raped and plundered and killed holy men just for kicks? They were so fearsome the soft English gave them a big swathe of land and paid them not to hurt them.
What the fuck happened? Did they get all their aggression out that now they cry at sunsets? That is some serious violence, they could have gone onto the passive aggressive meddling and drone strikes but no, they are nicely mellow now.

During WWII they put their faith in the British and French and told the Germans, "We will not submit voluntarily: the struggle is already in progress." Of course you should never rely on the Brits and French as a month later the Germans had occupied Norway.  

Anders Breivik is the cunt who in 2011 killed 77 people. He was sentenced to 21 years with that sentence extended longer if the government wishes. While some have said he's a Christian, he himself has said he is an Odinist  .... which is just another way of saying white supremacist Nazi type.

He had contacted a Norwegian human rights, anti-torture group saying his human rights were being violated. In his cell (more like an apartment) he only had a Playstation 2 and needed that upgraded to a PS3, he also wanted more adult games he could pick himself like GTA 5 and Call of duty as Rayman Revolution aimed at 3 years and over just wasn't cutting it. Maybe Rayman 2: The Great Escape would be better. 

His chair was uncomfortable and he wasn't allowed to talk to other inmates or wardens.  Are you crying for him yet? 

The HR group said that anything else was extra punishment and so Breivik won his case and the state paid his legal costs of $40,000 or £28,000. 

The Norwegian government was surprised at the win and Eskil Pedersen, a survivor of the shootings on Utoeya island, said he was "surprised, and then angry and upset, it was like being punched in the gut that the perpetrator won such a public victory."

The cunt's correspondence is still monitored though as he is a crazy (though totally sane) fucker.  He'll still get his 800 letters a year that are mostly love letters, fan mail and marriage proposals. 

If you strip 77 people of their human right of not being murdered and having a future (many were young teenagers) then why should you have human rights?

He's not remorseful and now he thinks he can do anything he wants. While waterboarding and naked human pyramids are morally wrong this cunt needs special attention, he needs his day micromanaged, he needs to get a PS3 with the smaller memory amount and a chair from IKEA that he has to assemble.

I hope he enjoys the company he gets in his long showers, I hope he gets everything he deserves and that the other inmates aren't modern day pussies.  

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

A Not So Brilliant Disguise

Bruce Springsteen has said how he refuses to play North Carolina because law makers there are overly concerned about some people's Spare Parts.

Is NC big with the trans genders? Do they have a problem with trans gender sex offenders that they have to make laws concerning public restrooms? 

Yer more likely to be sexually assaulted by a Republican senator than a trans gender person. It's plain and simple homophobia at werk.
This latest bill is a reaction to people being allowed to use a restroom based on their gender identity. How the fuck does that violate yer religious freedom as they have claimed?  here's a surprise for all you.

 Senator Berger and Speaker Moore

You aren't drop dead sexy and ghey people don't want to ride you.   The bill doesn't just make people use the restroom based on their biological gender but it also doesn't protect them and allows them to be discriminated against with no recourse based on sexuality, gender, age, race, religion and disability.

Bruce fought against South African apartheid by being one of the musicians who said they ain't gonna play Sun city in 1985, he also refused to play Ballymena but that was because it's a shit hole full of coked up sheep shagging farmers so ya can't fault him for that.

Is Bruce cancelling a concert in Greensboro doing what those cake and flower Nazis did when they refused to sell to gheys? It sounds similar, even if it's the right thing to do.  Yeah yeah yeah I'm sure the haters thought they were doing the right thing by telling gheys how sinful they are. 

He should play the concert in drag with his little willy tucked in with a load of Madonna's backing dancers using what ever crapper they want to.

Everyone is too eager to boycott, sure his concert would have been good for NC, they would have made at least $12 or so but lets think outside of the porta potty instead.


Monday, 18 April 2016

Dennis Hastert Needs To Pay

It was queried why Dennis Hastert, the longest-serving Republican speaker of the House who was found to be a child molester isn't a bigger story than it should be. 

Is it due to Republican friendly media giants just not liking this story?  I reckon powerful people and friends in high places are turning a blind eye to this until it blows over. 

Hastert was seen as being clean and inoffensive, a likeable bloke who faded from the public eye in 2006 after losing the house. 

Some evil people just don't stand out and can get away with so much when they have power and money. 

A champion for children he denounced pedos all the time and set up legislation to protect children. He said that we should put "repeat child molesters into jail for the rest of their lives." He also backed the Patriot act. Anti-abortion, anti-drugs and was for lower taxes, an evangelical Christian .... you could trust him right? 

He had his friend's backs. They could get involved in sex scandals and Hastert would cover them up or fire anyone that rocked the boat for his mates. He made some dodgy land transactions in Illinois that involved stalling freeways getting built which made him millions, a 500% profit in some cases. 

Again he was largely ignored and not punished. It was actually the Patriot act that gave him away. He was paying millions to silence one of his victims when the bank informed the Feds. Large money transactions are noted in case of terrorist cells ... and to be nosy. 

 Top left, watching the action.
Years ago he was a teacher, a wrestling coach at a high school, he was also a Boy scout leader ..... are those alarm bells ringing yet? 

He "coached" or how other people would say it sexually molested 5 male students. In 1976 he was
named Illinois Coach of the Year. Imagine someone trying to pin sex abuse charges on him. Jocks don't want to look unmanly (even though wrestling look totally ghey) and successful athletes and coaches have different rules for them which even includes a boys will be boys clause for rape.

You can't arrest him, we've got the play offs next month. 

He reached a plea agreement in his case which the lying to the Feds charge was dropped and his convenient ill health might have him avoiding a long prison sentence. Don't worry folks, he still gets his congressional pension of about $52,000 a year and he left office with a shit load of money after getting his slice of the action so he can afford a good lawyer.

Hastert paid $3.5 million to keep the person he abused from talking and told his friends that 'I am a victim too' .... ach the poor man, he molests 5 boys the youngest being 14 and it costs him money. It's not like the 5 boys had their lives ruined or anything.

One victim told his sister of his 4 years of High School abuse and said "Who is ever going to believe me?"

Isn't it sad that we expect a media cover up, that we expect politicians to be corrupt and that we aren't at all surprised by Christian hypocrisy and pedophilia? 

These same people that hold the moral high ground over us and that tell us what is right and wrong and that firmly believe that they work for the people in the way you'd nurse someone with dementia, you watch their every move and do what you think is best for them even if it isn't. 

He got away with his crimes for decades and what don't we know about? Bill Cosby had 55 women come forward so maybe there are another 50 guys too ashamed to speak out about Hastert.    

While Hastert expresses regret and has admitted that yeah maybe he's guilty he has not come out and fully owned up to it, he still expects to get away with it with a slap on the wrist and he will.  

Hastert isn't a victim, the boys he abused are and the American people that he ruled over for 20 years are too. 

I don't care how sick he is or that he's 74 years old. Dennis Hastert needs to stand trial and get sentenced to prison as surely as an SS guard from the concentration camps would be. Too many scumbags get away with whatever they please just because they are in positions of power.  

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

How Hitler Took Over The World

Ready to give his enemies a good fisting.

Hitler was supposed to have lost the war but something happened that gave him the upper hand. In 2939 scientists figured out how to send people back through time.

Where would you go? Stephen King wrote about stopping the JFK assassination only to have that fat headed twat have a nuclear war with Russia.

Many highly original people say how they'll go back in time and kill Hitler. Would you smother baby Hitler in his crib? That sounds too nasty for some so in 2939 they to go back when Hitler was promising his hope and change on the election circuit and kill him then before all the atrocities really began.

A team of special ops were sent back in time to kill the Fuhrer, little did they understand that the men of 2939 had been turned into such pussies due to society endeavoring to banish hurting the feelings of others.

Even tree hugging hippies were put into prison as trees cannot give consent for a hug. Don't worry, prison isn't too bad because it's inhumane to punish people and it's voluntary. It is frowned upon if you avoid punishment completely though so donating to charity or planting a tree is fine ... though tree hugging offenders are given a ban on being 100 yards near to young saplings or nurseries.  

The team of 6 appeared in Hitler's office and asked Hitler to please take some drugs to kill himself as they didn't want to use their weapons in case the sounds startled any pets or children near by.

Hitler, a decorated war vet looked them over, he was startled and surprised yet after seeing the horrors of Hermann Göring eating his dinner he wasn't afraid. He slowly and quietly reached into a drawer and took out his Luger and hunting knife. The time team were having  last minute doubts and were arguing about the human rights of mass murders.

Hitler jumped over his desk and started shooting and slashing until nearly all were dead. His guards came in and took the injured time travelers to their own private hospital/holding cell where Josef Mengeles got their secrets and information out of them.         

Through the various time lines Hitler had loads of time travelers trying to kill him and all of them didn't account for his crazy mad kung fu skillz and savagery.

Using their tech from the future and intel they shared under torture the Nazis won world war 2. Joe Kennedy (the father of JFK) a known appeaser was made president of the US along with Charles Lindbergh as his Vice President.
Edward VIII along with Wallis Simpson became King and Queen of England and Sir Oswald Mosley became the Prime Minister. 

It wasn't unusual to have the Pope as a former Hitler youth or Nazi member, something we couldn't possibly know about.

There were purges of all undesirables and anyone who was deemed as not being loyal to the cause. The only Jews to be found were on reservations such as Disneyland and Disneyworld and inferior races (according to the Nazis) were used as slave labour.

There were mass deportations of non-whites to labour camps and many many huge walls were built to control populations and to keep riff raff out. 
The people were freed from the burden of carrying identity papers by having a microchip implanted instead.

The only acceptable music is polka and Wagner (no Backstreet Boys ... the horror! ) and if yer dinner didn't include sausages, cabbage and beer then your loyalty was put into question.   

With the future tech the Nazis built big fuck off Nazi robots and Hitler's own life was extended.

Now with Hitler's long life span and an uber aggressive brain washed army of robots and cyborgs the people of the world have had all the fight knocked out of them and no one dares even to protest.

Hashtags that say how great Hitler is are only allowed and signing a petition is signing your death warrant.... unless it's a petition to have more Nazi oppression or something.   

There is social media but it is patrolled by grammar Nazis who berate and mock people that use there instead of their .... hard to imagine huh. If you don't get enough LIKES you'll get sent to the labour camps.

Healthcare and genetic testing is free. There are no longer any chronic illnesses ... or old or disabled people come to think of it. Education is also free and school kids are made to say the oath of allegiance every morning.   

Hitler promised the Germans a thousand year Reich, in 2939 he sends a team of wusses back through time with all the technology he needs to rule a world, welcome to the 2 thousand year Reich.

Now if time travelers could stop going back to kill Hitler .... yeah, that would be great. 

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Breaking The Law Is Sometimes The Only Option Left

Silhouette looking out a window ... maybe she sees a cat spraying her wheelie bin or something.  

In Northern Ireland abortion is illegal. Even in times of rape and incest they will make you have the child. They will only abort if there is medical abnormalities or that the woman's life is in danger but even then they probably won't because they'd get into trouble if they make the wrong call ..... Savita Halappanavar RIP. 

Healthcare is free on the NHS here but if you go to another part of the UK you won't qualify for help unless you live there. It is quite expensive to go and stay in England in order to have an abortion. People save for a rainy day not a condom didn't work day or an up the bum no babies dripped down into my minge day ....  immaculate conception her arse.

Go to any housing estate and you'll see loads of children living unhappy resentful lives left to their own devices by apathetic parents.

This story has annoyed Old Knudsen because 1) the girl that had the abortion had to do it illegally in the first place and 2) the people who touted on her are painting themselves as victims and morally just.  

A 19 year-old woman who shared a house in Belfast with 2 other woman got pregnant (by some bloke I assume) by accident. She didn't want a baby at that time in her life, I don't know if she even wants kids that doesn't matter.

She was 10 - 12 weeks pregnant and couldn't afford to go to England, one of the clinics she had talked to on the phone mentioned the pills though Northern Ireland is the ONLY part of the UK to have abortion as being illegal.

We are more of a theocracy than the rest of the UK it seems, more in line with Ireland actual. 

The 38 year-old housemate had a miscarriage herself and when she heard the 19 year-old didn't want to keep it she offered to be its legal guardian. The article doesn't go into whether or not the 38 year-old would be a fit parent or not.  

The girl took the pills and put the fetus into the bin. The 38 year-old and the other housemate have said how bad they felt and "I know people may say it's stupid (the law) and things like that, but it's still the law, you have to abide by the law that's here until that changes." 

"At the minute it's the law and if you break the law you have to be punished." Also how the fetus in the bin was eating them up and the baby had to have justice.

So they called the police on her. 

The housemates have had a backlash from people who didn't agree with them telling on a distressed and vulnerable woman who shouldn't have been in this situation which is why the housemates have been trying to sound like the victim and justify what they did.

If you read all the reports on the incident you can see how the 38 year-old used the pill popper's words against her when she called the unwanted pregnancy a 'pest' and how she just wanted it out of her.

She said, "I really tried to help her. I talked through a number of options but she just didn't want to know."

"This is about her attitude. It was as if she was getting rid of a piece of clothing."
"There was absolutely no remorse. Even the way she was up and away out and doing her own thing a day after the abortion, while me and our other house-mate just walked around in shock. She wasn't forced into anything."

 You should always ask celibate men about female reproductive issues, they know everything.

Reading the housemate's words you can see a better picture of why she called the police. She just didn't like her attitude. She had probably cried a lot and felt awful when she had her miscarriage and having a fetus in the bin (for 8 days) was bugging the shit out of her so what was this slutty hoor's problem?

Not for the baby (which wasn't a baby) she called the police to punish the 19 year-old. This is why you shouldn't tell other people your business.  

I doubt the housemates are well versed in psychology or even a basic understanding of people. Like how those nutters call conspiracy because someone smiled during an interview after a school shooting and aren't blubbering like how people are supposed to do in the movies.

Getting rid of the fetus as soon as she could and calling it a pest was the woman's way of getting past the trauma of abortion. The men in charge call it abortion on demand but no, it isn't like paying to watch a movie on Netflicks or a pay per view sporting event it's a fucking difficult thing to do.

Hostage negotiation 101 you use the hostage's name often to make them seem more of a person to the hostage taker.   

Not showing her emotions to the housemates shows you they weren't close enough to trust each other so she was 'putting on a brave face' and acting as if it never happened, not because she hates children, babies or fetus' but because it's a fucking difficult thing to do .... like going into work instead of sitting at home crying.

Obviously she couldn't trust the housemates so what would you expect?

If you know these housemates make sure you have a TV license, don't smoke weed, always wear a seat belt (even in a bus or taxi) never drink Pepsi from a Coke glass and never watch Game of Thrones on a free streaming video site or they'll report you.

Just because it's the law doesn't mean it's right. Gheys can't marry here either is that right? I'm not allowed to pay weemen to take a dump (hot lunch) on my chest is that right?

Maybe I'm wandering off topic a little there. It wasn't a baby yet, just as my crusty socks aren't babies either. The poor lass had a lot of emotional shit to try to suppress without the stress of getting arrested too.

She was given a three-month jail sentence, suspended for 12 months. In the Republic of Ireland there would be a potential 14 year jail term.   

The whole story with 150 year-old laws and morally righteous touts is just sickening. Women are second class citizens in Ireland north and south and are forced to break the law while 13 miles away over the water they have enlightened laws that see that an unwanted pregnancy destroys more than one life for years and years.

Monday, 11 April 2016

Touching Cloth

We all say we have at least one book in us well as you can guess Old Knudsen has volumes, it's just hard to find the right market for them.
My latest book 'Touching Cloth' is coming along very slowly. It's a modern day love story about a clergyman finding underage love, sort of like The Thorn birds meets Labyrinth. It's coming along slowly because I have to go to a "friend's" house to do "research" on their computer because of the sensitive nature of the book.

I always have a list of  'wetwipe' friends that can be used and thrown away and besides prison would probably make them more interesting people anyways and I will visit.

The Goblin king on ABC's Nightline. He thought he was meeting a young girl.  

So anyways I've heard a lot about politicians trying to get legal highs banned. When something knew comes out and the law doesn't apply to it some sad fucker always tries to ban it because you get addicted to it or it goes on fire when you recharge it .... someone is always trying to spoil yer fun. I usually just stick to crack, prescription pills, glue and drink cos I'm old school and could I really go in and ask for something called 'black mamba'?

 For fucks sake, it just doesn't stop .... me micropenis issues are well triggered.
Can I have some Exodus Damnation and some Blue Cheese please? .... fuck off, give them proper names. Maybe some Pandora's Box Unleashed or Gogaine ... for me balding?  These New Psychoactive Substances (NPS) mimic the illegal drugs and are said to be more addictive and damaging than many of them.

Oh and just to avoid reality the truth a misunderstanding it's a friend that has a micropenis my is weak and sickly and leaking huge, tremendous, the top of all the polls and everybody loves it, I just feel deeply for my friend.  

I watched this BBC video about legal highs in Wolverhampton. It talked to some street scum down on their luck people who have moved on from "normal" drugs to these legal highs. Liam in the picture was the main person, he is homeless though it never showed where he sleeps or where he keeps his designer chav clothes, he's better dressed than most.
Liam has used cannabis for years but Black Mamba really fucked up his life and he hardly ever sees his two kids.

Liam is a legend with his chav wear and neck tattoo, he saw a social worker type bloke that was trying to help him and set him up in a food safety course .... I'd totally eat food handled by Liam. While Liam wanted to get off Black Mamba he did the course while high on it and passed it. He could rule the fucken werld if he put his mind to it.   

Bruce is a wigger with one badly damaged brain cell left.

Bruce on the other hand is a fucken loser that doesn't want to handle food unless it's pork trotters for his pit bull. He has a tiny flat where he lurches about to rap music in. 
They all complained about legal highs and how addictive they are, one woman mentioned the cramps they give her and how they stop her from pooping .... fucken society making these people get high init.

Synthetic cannabinoids are new and their effects are not all known. In the Wolverhampton video there was one homeless person's death and like the 5 in Belfast recently, the cause of death is never mentioned. You just hear about either how the system let them down or what lovely people they were and people put flowers and candles in the doorway where they died ..... not really helping things. You only die from homelessness in places like Chicago during the winter.

I gave money to a beggar sitting in the street outside a pub that is opposite a chapel (both bad influences) and his hands were shaking and it wasn't because of the cold.  

Like when some young guys crash their car at 3am on a Sunday and no one mentions if they were speeding or drinking, just what a tragic loss it was. Killing people by not wanting to offend.

When a Brit or Irish person dies on holiday you just know they were blootered when they thought that swimming in the sea was a good idea. 'I've never done it before and I don't know the currents but yer my best fucken mate so lets swim.'

Social taboos are not just a priest diddling some kids or double dipping yer carrot stick they are also people pretending things are something else than what they are, social denial if you will and they go on to kill more as we make excuses not to deal with them or deal with them without all the facts.    

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Parcel Couriers From Hell

Ever have a busy week and say to yourself, 'I'll lie in on Saturday just a little bit' .... cos you'll obviously be hungover on Sunday before you go to church so that doesn't count.  

You sleep, not great sleep but it's good because you are giving yourself a sleepy treat and then at 8am bang bang bang .... no not next door's headboard on the wall again, it's the door.

You race doon the stairs still groggy, reacting to the morning sun like a vampire and it's a delivery of something vitally important from Amazon. The courier doesn't wait for you to sign his wee tricorder cos he's too intimidated by yer nocturnal penile tumescence sticking out of yer shorts.  

Knock on my door ya take yer chances. 

Parcel couriers may seem cheery but they are sheer evil. They could have delivered that at any time but they always keep at least one parcel back in order to deliver it on Saturday at 8am.

You know what else they do? They secretly watch yer comings and goings and once you leave the house they race round with a sorry we missed you card so you have to go to the post office to collect it.

You may think I'm crazy or paranoid but just remember how they laughed at NASA for landing a man on the sun during winter when it's colder .... lest we forget.

Well I gotta go and contact Amazon, they keep sending me bags of air and I never ordered those ... ya have to watch the fuckers ya know. 

Friday, 8 April 2016

The Panama Papers

We aren't breaking any laws, just helping our clients to. 

Mossack Fonseca, the Panamanian law firm other wise known as that tax haven in Panama is crying victim. Those poor lawyers had some of their records leaked out to the public and the world soon found out how the wealthy are hiding their money in order to avoid paying taxes in their home countries. 

A spokesman for the firm denies it was an inside job because then that would suggest they can't be trusted and says it was a hack .... which means they can be trusted, just not their servers or any data they have. 

Mossack Fonseca are grateful their name is so shite and forgettable as then this scandal will be named after Panama rather than them. 

Botoxed faced Putin has put his state run news channel RT into spin control mode, he wasn't named in the leaks but a few of his wealthy friends have been. Sure those friends no doubt benefited from their friendship with him for example the $800m (£562m) of loans by a Russian state bank given to the offshore company Sunbarn and Sandalwood Continental with no evidence of collateral or repayment, no wonder he laughed at US and EU sanctions. 
Putin's friend concert cellist Sergei Roldugin has made millions from these suspicious offshore deals such as the $6 million he borrowed in 2007 which was written off for $1.  

They seem shaken, maybe they are getting close to Putin's money. He wouldn't have it in his name for fucks sake he's ex-KGB, they know how to hide shit .... and bodies. 

RT have used the term Putinophobia to turn anything remotely negative about Putin into him being victimised like how you can't say that Obama is a crap president without someone calling you a racist ... no seriously, he is crap. His legacy will be being the first black preez and maybe the highest drone body count. 

It is illegal to be openly ghey in Russia which makes Putinophobia even more so ironic, then there is the whole invading Ukraine thing and having yer opposition killed but get off his back he ain't done nuthing wrong it's all Putinophobia .... aye sure the west is out to get him but he ain't an angel.  

David Cameron's ol dead Da was a chairman of Blairmore Holdings a client of Mossack Fonseca. Blairmore was named after the Cameron ancestral estate but had meetings in Switzerland or the Bahamas to avoid having to pay tax to the UK. 

When asked about this David Cameron said it was a "private matter" be sure to put that on yer tax forms next time you fill them out. Not liking this course of conversation Dave whipped out his cock and fucked a pig in parliament while announcing cuts in benefits to the old and disabled .... he'd rather talk about that than his family's money. 

Turns out that he did indeed have shares and like the Icelandic PM he got rid of them before taking up office at number 10. Cameron had called this tax evasion "morally wrong" when some celebs were caught doing it ... ah karma huh.   

Iceland's Prime Minister Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson sold his shares of an offshore investment company to his wife for like a pound dollar pissed on pickled fish and didn't declare it when he entered parliament. He has now resigned cos Iceland really don't like this kind of shit and have jailed bankers in the past. 

   In Iceland crowds of angry white people and it isn't about racism, how refreshing. 

FIFA president Gianni Infantino is involved in the leaks as is Gonzalo Delaveau the head of the anti-corruption watchdog Transparency International in Chile. France, the US and Pakistan are demanding investigations so they've no doubt got shit they want to investigate in order to cover it up. Me cynical? Nah I just know how these fuckers werk. 

In 2011 Bernie Sanders opposed a Bush negotiated trade deal with Panama complaining about tax havens and why the fuck would we sign a trade deal that would make tax evasion in the US an even bigger problem? 

The US loses $100 billion a year in tax evasion and the cunty was in $14 trillion plus national debt then and such a small cuntry like Panama wouldn't create American jobs either so why? WWWWHHHHYYYYY?

He was right and no one listened. Obama and Hillary were both strong supporters of the deal as was Rupert Murdoch who lobbied for the deal. Sanders had no wheels to grease and was fucking spot on. 

I doubt there will be any big US names mentioned but hope there will be. This is the kind of hack (if it was a hack) that the world needs. There are too many rich fuckers getting away with shit because they have the money to travel and the ability to exploit local laws. How do you get to a point in yer life where $200 million or more isn't enough for you?   

Of course it's a socialist idea to expect everyone to fairly pay their taxes so Sanders won't be getting any love for being more right and more honest than Hillary.