Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Hackers Target Obama

Hackers have revealed a top secret e-mail that wasn't marked top secret, it was marked 'Top five golfing fails.'

The e-mail that had an amusing video attached was from Obama and said about how he enjoys playing golf, especially when US servicemen get killed overseas or are being buried. He actually times his games to generate the most outrage.

The US has been at war 93% of the time since 1776. There has only been 21 years of peace with the most being the 5 years 1935 - 1940. While they usually don't win their wars they do give their soldiers medals for participating so that everyone is a winner. 

Obama is thought to suffer from 'A-personalty competitive disorder' and can only cope with life while in competition. When he played David Cameron a friendly game of ping pong he had the British Prime Minister in tears .... and he was on the same side.

Cameron said, "I had heard that there was the likely chance of some Yanks dying while Obama was visiting the UK so I suggested either fox hunting or ping pong to cheer him up. I didn't think he'd be so mean saying that I played like a limey pussy, it was very upsetting."   

The Republicans have branded Obama as an uncaring president that doesn't attend every single funeral and is probably a racist and only likes black people. They also irresponsibly suggested that he cancels preplanned games like the quitters they are.

Obama responded by saying, "I do care, why else would I be trying to spy and collect data on everyone? If you don't like it then don't vote for me .... oh that's right I've won all my elections, time for mother fucking golf!"

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