I'll build a fire to rid the streets of untidy homeless people.
I've cleaned for the queen manys a time. From journalists thinking about posting pics of Kate's tits to rogue ex-princesses sucking off Arabs. I've put more young runaways into land fills after one of Philip's slips more times than you've had hot dinners.
Times have changed and now I see that her majesty was just stringing me along with making me her consort and that she was just using Old Knudsen for a booty call.
The government wants you to clean up for the Queen's 90th birthday. Lift some trash and other people's dog shit cos she's going to be inspecting the streets. She won't be going to Larne or Ballymena cos there is no helping those places.
The Queen who has been given a pay rise from £31 million to £42.8 million for her years of hard selfless werk is fed up with hearing about litter on her streets, what if she saw some? Just think about the distress she'd feel.
Never mind fining those that litter £50, how about fining those that don't litter but don't lift it if you don't know who it was that dropped it.
"excuse me madam did you notice something?" ..... "I'm sorry I have cataracts and have to go get my shopping even though I'm 85 and need a new hip as my home helper has been stopped due to NHS cuts" ..... "that's no excuse, if we made an exception for you then everyone would expect it, you walked past a big gnarly dog turd and didn't pick it up" .... "I did? I don't own a dog and was more worried about the icy footpath" ..... "No excuse, what if the Queen saw it? That'll be £50 you unpatriotic bitch."
Loyalists riot all the time in Northern Ireland for the Queen and never has she thanked them or even given a shout out on her Christmas speech. They burn big fuck of bonfires, attack the police and Catholics for her and does she appreciate it?
What the fuck does the Queen know about being British anyways? Her great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria loved the German sausage and the Queen herself married a Greek immigrant, she ain't British like us
Britain will be great again eh Boris? ... first rule of the military, no one in their right mind volunteers.
They fucked up by saying 'Spic and Span Ma'am' as it should have been 'spick' ... the wetbacks and beaners would have been up in arms if we had any.
The Tory government has tried to get welfare recipients to do real jobs for their welfare money rather than paying them a wage and since they have cut local authorities by 40% they now want you to pick up other people's trash for free.
Edward who has never passed military training has more medals than William ... WTF?
Maybe if the governments didn't let big businesses off with paying taxes we could afford to hire a bloke to lift trash. Just an idea though the Queen herself threatened to sack her employees if they went on strike for a living wage ... aye, employees sure have an attitude problem, best to stick with slavery and idiot volunteers.
The Queen's family and the Tory government won't be lifting trash for one of the Queen's birthdays, they'll lift that same piece of brown paper for a photo op and that is it. The Queen should lead by example and get out there herself, trust Old Knudsen when he says that she is certainly limber enough to bend over to pick up trash.
People like that don't do anything nice unless there is a camera to record it or they are getting something out of it.
Give Old Knudsen a badge and a gun and he'll tackle the litterers himself but away an fuck if you think I'm touching their rubbish. I might have done it before the 'Clean for the Queen' crap and have actually lifted trash lying around but now, no fucking way.
The Queen and her state sponsored lifestyle is far more wasteful than any of us, instead of cleaning for the Queen the Queen should tighten her belt for the people.