Monday, 18 January 2016

Celebrities Fear Waking Up Dead

Recently the Reaper has been very busy. Dirtheads world wide mourned the passing of heavy metal legend Lenny (who had just turned 70) but worse was to come. An actual musician and famous person David Bowie was taken from us at the tender age of 69.
Social media was still putting out Bowie memes and talking about him having sex with underage gurls when yet another 69 year-old Englishman died, Alan Rickman.

You may know Rickman from Die Hard, Truly Madly Deeply, Jessie's girl and Harry Plotter. He also did that funny film with Tim Allen in which he played an actor playing a Spock like character ..... Leonard Nimoy died almost a year ago.

I stopped by Bill Cosby's house but fell asleep, when I woke I felt violated and he was gone.  

The universe is giving us clues and connections. I know for a fact the Grim Reaper gets bored and likes to play around. I bet he meant to take three English 69 year-olds just to blow our minds but instead he partied with Lennie for a few days and when he woke Lanny had, had his 70th birthday, I bet he thought he'd beaten the Reaper.
For his crimes against music he was taken anyways.  Seriously, those people that think that Lonny and Bowie would be up in Heaven in some kind of supergroup????? Bowie didn't jam with him when he was alive, why start now?

Tim Curry, an effeminate Englishman aged 69 has told me that he fears that he'll be the next soft Sassenach to die. Don't worry Tim, you'll always be in our hearts and when we think of you  .... well am I the only one in the mood for a curry now?   

He will always be that sweet transvestite to me. 

Charles Dance aged 69 whom I've been told is not at all effeminate .... yeah right. He also fears the icy hand of death. He was recently killed by a midget while he sat on the shitter in Game of thrones, can he top that?

England is full of effeminate blokes .... they are called The English! The Welsh are simpletons but harmless and the Scots and the Northen Irish Scots eat glass for breakfast and fight lions for fun. Liam Neeson in that movie The Grey .... that was based on what he likes to do on his holidays.

I'm seriously regretting having given Jonathan Pryce my e-mail addy. He sends me long rambling e-mails about how he fears that he'll wake up dead someday and then he'll end up on Facebook memes.

Jonathan has recently gotten a Game of thrones gig and has the constant worry of dying on the toilet like Charles Dance did, he'll also be 69 this year.

There is a meme of Rickman saying about how he'd still read Harry Plopper at the age of 80, he never said that. What he probably said was, "it paid the rent .... lol!" 
 Some 69 year-olds seem to be death proof.

Death comes for us all eventually though when it does I usually pretend to not be in. I'm no afraid of dying again it's just that a new season of The Walking Dead is going to be on soon and I just bought a jumbo pack of condoms .... it'd be a shame to waste them.

One thing we've learned is that being a celebrity in the 70's and 80's probably gives you cancer, maybe it's all that underage sex, I don't know.

What I do know is that William Shatner, Huge Heffner, Kirk Douglas, Betty White, Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Stan Lee are still alive .... What the fuck? Only the good die young. We still have two more Beatles to get rid of too.

Logging on to the InterWeb everyday is like a game of celebrity Russian Roulette.  


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