Friday, 11 December 2015

Why ISIS Are Afraid Of Female Kurdish Fighters

It has long been known that the worse nightmare of Daesh is not meeting US or even Russian troops in battle but it's facing off against Kurdish female fighters.

Not as attractive as the IDF girls though considered pretty good for that region. They rely on stealth and cunning rather than brute strength and since many of them have known the pain of childbirth this means there is little else for them to be afraid of in this world.

One worried IShole fighter said, "these females are devils that fear nothing, how are we expected to bully and scare them when they laugh at our efforts to kill them? How are we expected to defeat them when they use strategy and tactics and are not afraid to ask for directions? It's so embarrassing to lose to these females does no one ever consider our feelings? Please, give us your best warriors that are men, I'll never get into paradise like this." 

He left crying and had to be comforted by a friend.

Many IShole fighters have deserted from the north east of Syria as they are afraid to fight the female Kurd fighters, they flee west to fight rebels or Assad's troops, anyone but the scary girls. Some have even gladly volunteered to become suicide bombers, a role usually filled by useless soft westerners who go in search of Nutella and Jihad.

Please sign this petition to demand that the Kurds stop being so harsh with Daesh as many fighters have had to go into therapy because of the Kurds making combat more stressful than it should be.

When the IShole fighter got himself under control again he added, "I no longer take pleasure in beheading and raping children as I had before, I keep imagining my genitals being cut off and shoved into my mouth, it's horrible, they mock us when we miss hitting them and call us donkey fuckers .... we fuck goats not donkeys, girls are so mean." 

Yes, yes they are. 


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