Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Brussels Sprouts Are The Devil's Testicles

When I was young I didn't like certain foods like cauliflower and cabbage but since I wasn't doing the cooking they were forced upon me. As time went on I realised I kinda liked them more and have cooked them often.

For some reason at Christmas me Ma would always insist on cooking Brussels sprouts with the turkey, stuffing, roast and mashed potatoes, boiled carrots and gravy that was our traditional Christmas dinner ... I also preferred chicken to turkey and why the fuck would I want to eat turkey which I didn't like for a week afterwards? 

Thanks for the food issues Ma. I did like her stuffing though and have never been able to replicate it. I always had to remind her that it was just Lars and not me that didn't like the stuffing ... every year. Thanks for the siblings issues Ma for always remembering his likes, dislikes and his name. If I had a penny for every time me parents went to call me but started with my brother's name so I'd be called Laren, ach I'd be rich.   

NEVER have my tastes changed for me to like Brussels sprouts, I ate a couple to stop her nagging as if the world would end and that I'd spoil everyone's Christmas if I didn't eat them. 

So on the basis that I can never like Brussels sprouts, the taste or even the smell I have concluded that they are evil. More evil that Satan himself, he hates the things too. 

Coffee too ... I'd rather smell sewers and drink bilge water. 

When we didn't have pumpkins back in the day me Da would carve turnips for Halloween which was traditional in our village if you wanted to keep the boogies away but that meant me Ma cooked up the innards ... Turnips also go onto the list of things you shouldn't class as consumables. 

I know that some of you may like Brussels sprouts, coffee and maybe even turnips but all that means is that A) you are wrong, and  B) you are a very bad person. 



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