Thursday, 31 December 2015

2015 The International Year Of Taking Offense

What a year 2015 has been .... what a shite year. Not just Old Knudsen but many others have had a shite year too.
If you were looking to invest in Syrian real estate or if you worked in the Syrian tourist agency just give up and go live somewhere nice like Libya, Tunisia or Ukraine.

On a personal note Ma Knudsen, the she-devil that raised such a fine man (my brother Lars) died at the very end of December 2014 and put a dampener on the start of 2015 ... way ta go Ma, such a dick move.

Another dick move was friend and former wife Tachae Matkovcik also dying. Old Knudsen had been going through his own self wallowing shit and missed Facebook for a day and of course that was when she died. Always the drama with that one.

Leonard Nimoy also went to the cosmic soup. I met him at a book signing in Belfast once, I'll never forget his words to me, "thank you" said in that booming classically trained voice of his, aye, we were tight.  

So yeah, a sucky start to the year. Killing hookers, committing hate crimes and showing my willy in public just didn't have the same appeal as it usually did. While spraying "Go home niger" .... (correct spelling is for the weak) on a hoose wall I said to myself, "there must be more to life" I didn't even break any windies, I just left a pig's head off at the Islam center and went home early.

Picking up weemen for fantastic sex followed by a nice cup of tea just seemed to merge into one. I even stopped asking what their names were ....  like I want their life story.

Boko Harem killed 2,000 people in the first month of 2015, Houthi forces backed by Iran over threw the US backed Yemeni government. The Yemeni president fled to Saudi Arabia and began a bombing campaign the very next day .... isn't it ironic, yeah I really do think ... and people complain about Assad bombing his own people.
So much hype against ISIL, ISIS, IS, Daesh, ISholes and Assad. Just keep saying the names and saying how much we need to bomb them until everyone else starts to say it too.

Nice things did happen. While Northern Ireland had same sex marriage rejected (by the evil DUP) the Republic of Ireland which has been molested and abused by a powerful Catholic church for centuries voted to legalize it. The next thing to legalize is abortion. The courts in Northern Ireland have deemed the N.I. abortion laws to be against human rights so we'll wait and see if anything happens.

The US also voted in favour of ghey marriage and many Christians had a shit fit. When Jesus said 'love thy neighbour' he obviously didn't mean fags  ..... Christians are so lovely.

Supergirl getting super pounded.

Celebrities had their private photos leaked which is a gross breach of privacy and shame on anyone that posts them ... whatever. The photos leaked and millions of nerds leaked into hankies right after that. If the actresses had leaked sex tapes like everyone else then we wouldn't have wanted to see them naked so it is totally their fault .

Slut shaming and victim blaming became a big thing .... but they were probably asking for it.

Even those who had been raped couldn't say that by hanging out with the wrong people and becoming impaired due to drinking too much went towards them being raped without being condemned by people that obviously know better.
The US police couldn't even shoot unarmed black people without getting abuse and getting the local Walmart looted and burned down in protest.

2015 was the year of taking offense at everything .  

Ghey cakes and flowers for ghey marriages spoiled happy occasions.  A Muslim boy couldn't even take a clock to school without being labeled a terrorist and don't get me started on the Starbuck's war on Christmas .... those evil fuckers

A typical plane journey. 

A German plane crashed into the Alps killing 150, turned out that its co-pilot was a little unhinged. A plane full of Russians was blown up over Sinai killing 217. The things are heavier than air, they shouldn't be up there it's too dangerous!

We are all in this together, which is why I personally fight against Daesh instead of sending others. 

A Tunis museum attack in March that left 22 dead got mostly ignored but when another attack on a Tunis beach killing 38 (30 being British) the media took notice and David Cameron used it as an excuse to bomb the Daeshbags in Syria.  

Al-Shabaab kills 147 people in Kenya ... the world mostly doesn't notice. It didn't notice the 100 killed at a peace rally in Turkey either.

However, when 130 people are killed by ISholes in Paris the world loses its shit.... The French government uses this as an excuse to bomb Syria.

Um ..... anyone else seeing a pattern here?

Old Knudsen was transferred from Iraq and began training moderate Islamic fanatics in Syria (on the sly) it turns out that the moderate fanatics he was training were secretly severe fanatics who went on to join the ISholes .... Doh!
I'm gonna say it, those fellas all look the fucken same to me, sure I can tell sheep from each other but this lot are fucken sandsavage clones.

I did manage to set up the Free Syrian Army which are the rebels fighting Assad, the best 5 lads you'd ever hope to meet, good at fleeing too. They are based in Turkey in order to keep them safe.

Now Obama and the CIA are werking with Assad but don't tell the public. 

Bruce Jenner the Conservative ex sports star said he identified as being a woman. Still not too big into the whole ghey marriage thing. The Hollywood Liberals embraced her enough to give her an award for courage. The husband of a 9/11 responder who had previously accepted the award in honour of his dead wife called bullshit and gave it back .... courage is not dressing up as a woman in Malibu.

Yes Bruce did become Caitlyn to upstage Kim and Kanye, I thought I had a fucked up family. If he wants to call himself a she then whatever, but until you grow an extra chromosome then what you really are is a dude. He still has his dick for fucks sake, he hasn't had the op.

Caitlyn is busy playing dress up and hogging the limelight if possible and I would not be surprised if she starts to use a fake tan and gets corn rows just like Rachel Dolezal who is as black as Old Knudsen's taint, wipe yer face lass with a bit of soap, the dirt comes off.

The Brits got very excited to put a Briton into space .... wow, big deal, the Canadians had a fucken singing astronaut, our bloke drinks tea.
There was lots of talk about Mars missions and someday we hope that a Brit will be the first person to die there. 

2015 went from starting as a shitty year and continued as one, The Americans kept shooting each other and bombing everyone else. The Anti-Christ Obama admitted he was an Islamic terrorist from Kenya and pardoned himself. 
At the end of his second term the US is better than it was under Bush .... it's still a shit hole and there are 5 times as many bombs being dropped in other countries but it's still better than it was. Even though the elections aren't until November 2016 we've had nothing but US presidential nopefuls filling up the Internet. Hilary has already picked out her curtains and wallpaper for the White House so I don't know why they bother.  
Trump with his soulmate Katie Hopkins

Donald Trump has been accused of being such an asshole that he is actually working to elect Hilary, newsflash, she doesn't need the help. 
He has insulted the beaners and the ragheads and has told so many lies to fuel racism that even Arab billionaires are going out of their way to have a Twitter feud with him. Hundreds and thousands of British have signed a petition to keep him out of the UK and he still ticks away at being offensive. 
The ultimate ugly American abroad he employs immigrants while complaining they are taking American jobs only the likes of the poorly educated and those filled with hate even like the guy .... Putin sees a use for him should he become president, that right there says a lot. 

Star Wars came out with a new movie, if it's as shite as the other 6 then ... it'll be shite. JJ Abrams directed it and since he rebooted Star Trek to great effect it will probably be decent. SPOLIER ALERT, C3PO finally comes out of the closet and Leia sucks her brother off in an attempt to generate more memes.  

This year people died, people were born and shit happened. Old Knudsen remained constant in his disdain for all of you. 2016 will be another year with bad and good, don't let the fucker bring you doon.

Je suis a cunt! 

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