Tuesday, 3 November 2015

You Are Probably Evil

Do you have a moment to talk about just how doomed you are? 

Old Knudsen being a powerful Warlock of chaos is privy to ancient knowledge and wisdom an shit that you normal plebs will never know. Sometimes the mountains tell me their secrets, sometimes the wind that has been blowing since time began tells me and sometimes an alien from Placid IV named Marvin sometimes tells me this knowledge and wisdom. He also gives me racing and fashion tips too.

Old Knudsen would rather listen to an ancient rock that was thrown through his window by forces unknown than believe those fake news sites on the Interwebs.

The truth is that everyone has a demon processing their body. This may not be big news to some as it explains a lot and removes responsibility from people who have done nasty things in their lives so it is therefore a likely and favourable possibility.

This is not what it looks like, come back in 5 minutes and it will look more like it then. 

The demons may not be very powerful to fully take over yer body, they may only be able to influence you a little and sometimes a lot. You sign up for the Ashley Madison site and before you know it yer flirting with dudes pretending to be chicks then the whole world werld knows about it .... obviously the werk of demons and maybe you drink too much but the demons make you do that too.
The more bad shit you do the more powerful the demon becomes. Those smug gits who shit on everyone but don't think they've done anything bad, they become merged with their demon, sociopath is what we call them.      

The thing about lies is that if they sound like your own thoughts then they don't seem like lies. Modern society may call it mental health issues but that's because they are not all powerful warlocks like Old Knudsen.

Sometimes in order for a man to achieve enlightenment, me must skip his meds.Yes, you may quote me on that.

To get rid of yer demons simply send four easy payments of £29.99 to Old Knudsen for a demon blasting prayer that will be beamed into yer soul as soon as yer cheque clears. Like the cuntry China, Old Knudsen doesn't take dollars ... real money for fucks sake, or gold. I used to accept first born children but too many questions got asked about the smell coming from my safe-deposit box in the Ulster bank.

If you can't afford the payment then yer demon is obviously holding you back, in this instance it is ok for you to steal it. In fact yer eternal soul demands it. 

This may sound like a money making scam but that is yer demon talking because they can see out of yer eyes and are probably very afraid. 
It is in no way a scam. To prevent another demon from taking up residence within you, merely send £19.99 for a protection spell. 

 Old Knudsen's life ... die you white winged bastard!

Old Knudsen wouldn't normally charge but the forces of evil demand rent and lawyer fees in a constant battle of good against evil in order to silence Old Knudsen. When a friend on Facebook un-friends Old Knudsen after hearing his plan to nuke the whole Middle East in order to achieve peace, that is the demon manipulating them, who else would be so against werld peace but a demon?   

Demons come and go and are sometimes expelled for many reasons, such as a chance encounter with a unicorn or if you actually embrace yer dark side and accept it, they leave as there is no challenge for them then. Vegetarians have strong demons. Hitler thought he was a good guy saving animals from cruelty but was he really .... who knows? ..... as the Pope said, who are we to judge? 

A burger a day keeps the demons at bay .... but not for long so act fast while I still have some demon blasting prayers left. Yes there is a discount for Old Knudsen's friends, when he gets some friends he'll certainly look after them. 
Facebook doesn't count, if he could he'd change his friends list for a cunts list with a big fat dislike button of scorn. Don't pity them.     

You weren't the same person you were 10 years ago, it's not like you've grown as a person, don't kid yerself you shallow fucktard, yer issues have issues. Probably a stronger demon killed the weaker demon inside you and took over.  
Old Knudsen used to like ginger weemen, then he changed to brunettes, then he changed to freshly dead ones .... tastes don't change but demons do.  

A quick demon possession test. When you look at this picture do you think, Old Knudsen is deifying his court order again and those poor children probably ended up buried in his allotment? or Oh look, the ex has had a change of heart and Old Knudsen has been allowed weekend visits? 

If you thought the first one then you've got a demon inside you tonguing yer soul. For legal reasons I can't tell you the story behind this pic. 

Old Knudsen has many demons within him, the seal of Solomon enables him to enslave the demons in order to use their power. It is sad that many in law enforcement and the judicial system have given into their demons otherwise Old Knudsen would still be operating his legal high shop but the fight goes on and those pawns of evil will pay. 

Now you at least know that when the World Health Organization comes out and denounces bacon or something that they are obviously infiltrated by demons.   

Yer eyes are open. Now buy my book so you can learn how to access yer ultimate form and to think blast away negativity .... buy it now or the demons will win.


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