Thursday, 26 November 2015

Happy Trumpsgiving!

Before you get stuck into that turkey let me remind you what you have to be grateful for .... yes for Donald Trump ... me! I shall make America great again like the time we had most of the known world in our empire and when we ruled the waves until the moderate rebels destroyed our Death Star.

Shut up Johnny I'm completely sober, you know what else was a sober .... sight? Seeing those twin towers come down on 9/11.
I was in my apartment at the Trump tower 4 miles away and as I dangled upside down from my sex swing I could see people jumping to their deaths as the planes struck.
I rubbed off the oil and put of some clothes and went to help. It was difficult getting in and out of the buildings to save people as angry Arabs cheering and celebrating filled the streets all shouting, "Death to America" you probably saw them on the news reports.
I had to fight off some illegal Hispanics who were trying to rape a hard working American woman, something's up with that am I right?

As the buildings came down the Arabs all cheered, I wasn't very happy. Then something came floating down from above. It was Muslim passport with a refugee stamp in it from one of the terrorists and the stamp was signed by Obama, even back then he was working to destroy America.

9/11 would never have happened if we had built walls at our borders, unless Obama gave his Muslim friends some advanced ladder technology like he gave the Iranians nukes. 

Shout up Denise I'm talking here! If you look at Obama's real birth certificate you'll see the 'B' in Obama looks like an 'S' and that his middle name is after his god father, a man you may know as Saddam Hussein. Barack is Kenyan for 'son of ' so you work it out for yourselves but I didn't vote for him. Obama is horrible, the turkey is dry and Hilary is weak at making sandwiches and on immigration.

Fuck you Rob I do care about the homeless veterans, I told one in the street to 'get a job' then I charged him $500 for that bit of financial advice.

I saw over on Ellis island a family of Syrian refugees, the parents were strapping explosive vests to their children and telling them to go into churches ..... then they changed their minds because no one actually goes to church in this great Christian nation of ours so instead go into Macy's on Black Friday, that can't be good.

Now Donald, that's a good Thanksgiving rant but it went a little racist with the whole Black Friday thing. We should be grateful that I am the greatest rock 'n' roll star ever! You might be Donald Trump but you ain't Kanye West bitch! That turkey reminds me of my beautiful Kim, my next baby is gonna be named South so he/she can get a sponsorship deal with Southwest airlines.

Cherokee princess Iron Eyes Cody crying because you don't lift up yer trash. 

Thanksgiving is not just about sales and racist rants over turkey, it goes back to the time when white people tricked idiot savages to feel sorry for them and then they used that compassion to take their land and engage on a campaign of genocide against them. 

Let us all be thankful for being white overlords .... it's fucking awesome! Those who aren't, I'm sorry for yer loss.  Lets also be thankful that we have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads and access to alcohol and strong medication, if you don't then you've failed at the game of life, go live in a teepee ya injun hippy. 

Compassion costs nothing and is often long remembered. If you see a homeless person, be they veteran or not, stop for a moment and share a little humanity with them with a kind word, ask them how their Thanksgiving dinner was and what they are doing for Christmas, maybe advise them to wash a little more often as they sometimes forget.     

Obliviously if they are of an ethnic persuasion and yer a cracker don't approach 'those' people for yer own safety. 

Let us all be grateful and ignore those less fortunate than us because it's all about plates of food followed by the traditional bloated self loathing and ignoring the old drunken racist aunt or uncle sitting in the corner. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  .... terms and conditions may apply. 

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