Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Experts Say Planes Are Dangerous

Everyone knows that airplane etiquette dictates that if the person in front of you pulls a dick move like reclines their seat that you spit on them. A nice little gleek shower on their reclined face to remind them to be respectful of their neighbours. Some bloke on a Southwest airline plane going from Los Angeles to San Francisco thought that a little light strangulation to the woman reclining was needed. The Feds were called on board to teach Mr Octopus some manners. Watching the life drain from their eyes is fun but keep it in the bedroom or dark alley fella.

Don't bite that one, he isn't ripe. 

Old Knudsen always scans the news for the first signs of the zombie apocalypse, yeah you can mock but when yer bit on the first day while Old Knudsen in his kevlar jumpsuit becomes the king of the werld I'll keep you around as a pet for yer insolence  .... a fuck buddy pet with a muzzle.      

Look up its Aer Lingus. On an Aer Lingus flight from Lisbon to Dublin a bloke went nuts, bit another bloke and then died.

Well that shit isn't supposed to happen. The plane was diverted to Cork which is bad news if its zombies as  locals can be often mistaken for zombies cos they are always drunk. Was the guy who was bitten put into quarantine? Was the biter's body burned? Of all the shite places for the apocalypse to start, a lawless place with no modern medicine and a people still amazed by door bells. 

A bit of good news is that Irish doctor Farai Gbowee has been given the all clear with the strange virus she caught in Liberia earlier this year and will be continuing her job in Belfast's Royal Victoria Hospital. I was worried there for a moment.

I will be keeping an eye on Cork though. It won't be in real time as they only have tea time and drinking time there.

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