Friday, 9 October 2015

Death Happens

At the end of the game both the pawn and the king go into the same box. 

Death is the great equalizer, the older I get the more I hedge my bets with the afterlife. It's difficult to pick which fairy story is the correct one considering no one has come back to tells us. I often look to the sky and say, "Please dear gods just show me a sign"  then I get knocked doon by the number 42 bus on the way to Cockwood. 

"Was that a sign, can I have another just to be sure?"  

I've been seeing a lot of TV commercials very concerned with the debt you'll leave loved ones should you die, then there was yon fella in the mall with the free will with every life insurance bought. I don't like the idea of life insurance, too tempting for some. It should be called death assurance.

Then there was the crazy psychic who told me I was going to die and to get my affairs in order. I came clean about the possible STD's they may have caught and ended my affairs ... I'm not dead yet, just horny and lonely. 
I doubt my family will claim my body, if I die anywhere near them. I fully expect to be dumped by the side of the road. Don't waste money on a grave or cremation, let me join with the earth and be something for children to poke at with a stick on their way to school. Make sure you harvest my organs, I promise not to take over the host body. I really hope me eyes goes to someone with a hot wife ..... I do like to watch. 

Old Knudsen has died before, once for yer sins but after 3 days he came back, then when the planets had aligned which brought him back again and then in the future when his clone had his consciousness downloaded into it, and then when he was attacked by a rage infected ape in Tesco, ach Old Knudsen's life often seems as if Steven Moffat or Joss Whedon is writing it at times. Old Knudsen has died and cum back more times than Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural.  

Did Old Knudsen survive man flu or did he really die from it but just appears to be alive? 
 Wow Old Knudsen I totally believe you.

I would not be surprised if you didn't believe me, luckily you all know how honest I am and would never make up such things.   
When Orifice offered me the choice of pills to take either the blue one ... the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.

Or the red one ... you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I'm offering is the truth. 

Well I don't do too well with choice, I freak out at Subway when they ask me what I want on me sub, we Brits are used to putting up with what we are given, choice is something that Yanks are into. I took both pills to be on the safe side a few green ones I had saved for special occasions. Now I know all about the rabbit's hole. Now I see that U are at the centre of truth.

The billionaire will die as will the hobo, both will probably shit themselves too. When Old Knudsen eventually rages against the dying of the light you know for sure he'll not go gentle into that good night. All the gods, angels and spirits will be on alert and there had better be a nice cuppa waiting. 

Do not grieve, for Old Knudsen will be on just another adventure but don't go messing with his stuff for who knows, he may return. What kind of god would create humans and have them spend 70 - 100 years experiencing, learning and maybe even growing as a person to just have all that thrown away? 

As Maya Angelou said "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." 

Will you feel more than just aroused when Old Knudsen dies? Never fear, when I gets my new body I'll no doubt blog about it. 


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