Saturday, 31 October 2015

Brad Pitt's Next Role

Remember when Brad Pitt was a beautiful young man with a mouth like a moist inviting face vagina? .... Well Old Knudsen remembers, oh yeah. He wanted to be taken seriously as an actor so he took roles in which he had to scruff himself up for such as Kalifornia, 12 monkeys and Snatch but we wanted fight club and Seven years in Tibet pretty cos we're shallow, fuck yer acting, just stand there and smile maybe take off yer shirt.

I'd say that his last "pretty" role was Mr and Mrs Smith in 2005 .... yes 10 years ago when he was 41. After that he made movies that had computer generated youth, lots of voice work and he started playing older roles.

In the great inglorious basterds:  "They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are."

Or in the totally shite Glory. Should have made it about glory holes, then it might actually be interesting. The whole rookie finally earning respect is so bleh and was stupidly done.

In World War Z he had such dodgy hair .... what the fuck? Don't watch it in HD, you'll be convinced he's slowly changing into a zombie. Yes Brad Pitt is human, even his nose is getting bigger. Of course that means that us fans are getting older too, fuck you Brad Pitt, you did this to us!

He has always been compared to Robert Redford in looks and the Ocean 11 movies he was basically a caricature of  Redford and his slack relaxed acting. Using food as a prop is a very Redford thing.

At 51 he still looks good for his age, no middle age spread but what the fuck are some photographers up to? It's like one of those if Brad Pitt and Robert Redford face morph things. I believe that Pitt is going the way of Bruce Jenner, but not as ghey.

Brad Pitt will announce that he is really Robert Redford inside and identifies himself as Redford more than Pitt.
He'll have a few cosmetic procedures (Jenner still has his/her male junk) and he'll get an award for courage when he steps out onto the stage wearing 70's styles. 

Hold on is this Pitt or Redford? Ach soon Pitt will be Redford then he has to destroy the original host body. If you've seen the Redford yachting movie then sending him out to sea is probably a certain death sentence. In Captain America: Winter soldier, Redford was the bad guy who was killed at the end, that is the fate of older male actors that can no longer be paired with a 25 year-old female love interest.

There can be only one.        

It’s not a journey, every journey ends but we go on, the world turns and we turn with it. Plans disappear and dreams take over. But where ever I go – there you are. My luck, my fate, my fortune. I shall be Robert Redford - inevitable.

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