Thursday, 24 September 2015

Know Your Bombs

Thanks to certain teachers at a high school in Texas, Old Knudsen has found that now everyone and their granny are bomb experts. It's like yon American sniper movie when civvies all went on about how realistic it was .... except it wasn't, even with military advisers. The most real thing in that flick was the plastic baby.

The above picture shows you what a bomb looks like ... if you are Ethan fucking Hunt from Mission Impossible or maybe Jack 'do you know who I am' Bauer from 24. So that you know it's a bomb it is 1) in a case, 2) wires and a digital display screen and 3) the explosives, in this case the explosives are both square and in tubes to avoid confusion, sometimes the packaging may say C-4 if you go for a brand name type.

These bombs can only be defused in the last 5 seconds of the countdown just so you can look cool. If you do manage to defuse them the timer may beep at the end for dramatic effect.

In real life suitcase bombs beep so they can be easily found, moved or defused .... NOT!  

Old school insurgents love analog as digital seems very impersonal and bombs should tick for dramatic effect, what's in the box? I don't know but it's ticking ... oohh drama. Swiss terrorists use cuckoo clocks just to piss people off before they die.
Did you know that egg timers have killed more people than the AK-47? ... Yeah I may have made that up.

Old school bombs can be defused after you fret which wire to cut but then just yank them all out ... simples!

So yeah, that is what real bombs look like. You really were an expert even with no military training at all, yay you.

Then again this is also a bomb, don't the Tallyban know anything? I bet that's Lucozade in yon bottle as if it can give you explosive diarrhea I'm sure it can give you explosives.

Bombs may also have a cell phone as a trigger or may be activated by a garage door remote control. You see people playing Angry Berds on their phones, I see potential terrorists. 

You know what else looks like a bomb? A pressure cooker. If you see any of these getting taken to school then call Homeland security or at least mention it on Twitter. A pressure cooker can cause quite a large explosion with very little explosive.

Has yer little High Schooler taken yer hydrogen peroxide which you need cos yer roots are showing? I suspect the fucker has taken it into school to impress his teachers. Containers full of liquid also looks like a bomb.

Dirty old pipes also look like bombs too. You've never seen Jack Bauer with these because they aren't sexy bombs. They can have ye olde fashioned fuse down the middle or a wire connected to a battery and timer. If you use a current then be careful not to cause any friction or any gas build ups while making them if you like yer fingers. Otherwise gun powder or even match heads and a fuse are yer best bet.

You can always tell who is a bomb making terrorist is, they never laugh at my 'how many fingers am I holding up' jokes  

Did ya hear about the IRA man who blew up a car? He burned his lips on the exhaust ... ha ha ha fuck Paddy's are stoopid .... to be sure.   

During WWII the British Home Guard were taught to make pipe bombs and that tradition has been passed down to Northern Ireland's paramilitaries who mostly just use empty pipes to create a bomb scare cos they are cunts with nothing better to do.


Lastly, gamer babe Meg Tunny, she is da bom.

Now you know bombs. 


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