Monday, 28 September 2015

Jeremy Corbyn Leaves ISIS

Jeremy Corbyn recently resigned as chairman of the Stop The War Coalition saying that he had to step down in a number of roles after becoming famous as the new leader of the Labour party.

He has also stepped down the Tree huggers against the military group and the Give Ireland back to the Paddys association. He will remain as the PR representative of Hamas UK and will continue writing his weekly column in Hezbollah News.

One surprise move was when he stepped down as deputy chairman of ISIS. As you know ISIS are the brave freedom fighters who are defending their land from infidel invaders, journalists and aid workers. They have been much maligned in the press for just being Muslim. Corbyn has been trying to help them over come the prejudices of the great western crusader war machine and the Zionist puppet masters.

Obviously the west has left them no choice but to fight to defend their oil and freedoms, they are the real victims here.

Corbyn believes that if the UK scraps its nukes and abolishes its military then the rest of the world will respect them and follow suit thus achieving world peace. Much like how Ukraine scrapped its nukes and then was invaded by Russia .... no, that's a bad example. Madagascar doesn't have nukes and no one has ever invaded them.

He also believes that everyone should grow a beard, marry at least 3 times and ride a bicycle. He will also help the British population by banning smoking and drinking and will introduce the vegan lifestyle should he ever become Prime Minister. He promoted vegan Kerry McCarthy to be in charge of farming and agriculture, she has said, "I really believe that meat should be treated in exactly the same way as tobacco, with public campaigns to stop people eating it." 

Soon you'll see meat eaters forced to eat meat at tables outside restaurants and standing in shop doorways scoffing a burger before having to go inside, there will be laws about eating a drumstick in yer car if you have kids inside and of course the price of meat will go up even more with pictures of dead animals on the packaging.

He will take religion out of the school curriculum and replace it with political pamphlet making classes. Rapists and Pedos who are victims of society will be given therapy rather than prison, a little kindness and respect goes a long way. 

Luckily not even the British public are stupid enough to vote in an anti-bacon candidate into number 10. They'll turn a blind eye to his anti-monarchy sentiments and his close ties with the IRA and Hamas but bacon is serious. Old Knudsen has shived people in the exercise yard over bacon.   

David Cameron fucked a dead pig's head, he is the leader we need and deserve. If Corbyn ever fucks a packet of rashers he may very well get into number 10, if there is video of it he might even rule the world.

Another politician has stepped down from an important Middle East job. Senator John McCain, the man who became a hero for getting shot down and held prisoner during Nam has left his role as Chairman of the Free Syrian Army training corp. He cited being too busy pushing Navajo off their land for the mining rights back in his home of Arizona to train a bunch of yahoos that stood no chance of winning.

How the fuck is a guy who picks up a gun and beheads what ISIS fighters they capture a moderate anyways? Oh he's just a little bit of a fanatic lets fund him.

US trained Syrian rebels just recently gave six pick-up trucks and a load of their ammunition and their lunch money to the al-Nusra Front this week in exchange for safe passage. That's 25% of the equipment the brave American tax payer gave them. $500 million was given to train 5,000 rebels though the first 54 who graduated were chased away by the nasty al-Nusra front.

The US had the same problem in Iraq, stop training troops to be pussies for fucks sake. Let the Yamam or NAVSOG train them, they're tough vicious cunts, even the Australian SASR would be better. 

Al-Nusra are the Syrian group linked with al-Qaeda but the head of the Free Syrian Forces said that they promised them not to drive the trucks into any American buildings. 

McCain has denounced al-Nursra as bullies and thugs and certainly not 'our' kind of radical, he did pour some praise on the Kurds in Syria .... but not the Kurds In Iraq as he didn't want to upset Turkey. 


No comments: