You Had One Job To Do

Experts have come out with a new study that says 84% of the British population have gateaphobia which is the fear of closing gates.

Gateaphobia has such a social stigma attached to it that sufferers will deny they have it by using excuses such as, "I don't get paid enough to close your gate" or "I just couldn't be arsed."

The US have long gotten around Gateaphobia by having mailboxes at the kirb so a mail van can drive up and put the mail into the box to be picked up by the home owner. In we had this in the UK people would be 10 times more likely to steal the mail or set fire to it because we don't have guns or a judicial system that cares about crime. 

When your mail courier or paper deliverer puts something through your door open it and watch them leave. When watched they are more likely to lock the gate but on the off chance they don't you must chase them down and rub their nose on the gate latch. Experts also suggest a spray bottle full of water or a rolled up newspaper to help them get over their fears.