Sunday, 2 August 2015

The Pope Hates Boobs

The Pope will kiss lamp shades .... or what ever the fuck that is. 

He'll totally tongue leper boils.

He'll get stuck in between some chav toes and maybe playfully nibble on them.

And of course he'll kiss young boys. 

Lots and lots of young boys.

But if a woman without a bra comes to have her sins forgiven he'll have his security escort her away. 

Victoria Xipolitakis, a good Catholic gurl and glamour model (she gets her fake tits out) who has appeared in the Greek version of Playboy which is 70% more hairy than the American version tried to meet the Pope in Paraquay to have her sins forgiven.    
She was only just banned for 5 years from a domestic Argentinian airline for being in the cockpit for most of the flight taking selfies with the pilot and handling the controls.The pilots got fired. 

Xipolitakis says she doesn't know why she was told to leave. Don't worry it isn't you, thousands of children don't know why God let those priests abuse them or why this pope was silent over the abuse when he was a Cardinal .... No need for the long face.

She volunteers as a life guard on weekends as she has extra floatation devices built in.

The pope has become famous for making positive, liberal comments about those discriminated against by the Vatican but never changes Vatican policy so you can be assured that he pretty much hates weemen, only matched by his hatred of gheys.

For fear of being embarrassed by a titty model who actually had on clothes for a change he made her leave ... not very Christian.

Is milk sexy or something? I don't get it. 

When Jesus found a crowd of Pharisees and lawyers who were about to stone a woman for adultery (as like Moses had taught) he said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
If the DUP were there they would have stoned her as their sinning wasn't real sinning because well it's them and such rules don't apply to them otherwise the wife of their party leader would have been stoned .... As in most cultures only the woman gets blamed for adultery.

The first known photo of Jesus, on the left. 

Jesus then said, "has no one condemned you?" the filthy slut answered "No one, sir," so he said, "Then neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin." it is not known what happened to her afterwards because no one cares ... probably became a victim of an honour killing or something because the husband would have thrown a stone.

The next case was for a man accused of stealing a camel, Jesus tried the whole without sin thing again but was told to fuck off and get some new material.

The Pope may say breast feed away but he really doesn't want to see them. 

That adultery passage was added to John fairly recently about 200 years after Jesus' fictional death and isn't in any earlier manuscripts. I learned this the other day and of course had to check that fact because as Old Knudsen was just saying to Dennis Hopper on Thursday, "I'm all about the facts and the fact is that it's yer round, a pint and a whiskey chaser mate." Some Bibles have a disclaimer at the bottom saying that verse isn't in other texts.

The Bible was written numerous people and at numerous times so amendments and additions were done to reflect the changing times and agendas. In the 1970's blackface was still considered entertainment and could be found on prime time TV but now it's totally unacceptable and rightly so. Times and attitudes change.

God was strict as fuck and more blood thirsty than Ted Bundy in the first book of the Bible but in the sequel he becomes the god of love .... unless yer his son that is.

The important thing is that the 'any one of you is without sin' thing sounds like something Jesus should say.

So don't blame the Pope for hating the boobies, the original scripts would have him drop a slab on those bi-atches.

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