Tuesday 11 August 2015

Secetion 3000 Cumming Soon


Rob Rhinehart says thanks for the idea Knudsen .. as he laughs all the way to the bank .. sperm bank.

Old Knudsen blogged about survival tips with his post from 2006 The Human Green Machine, if you can't bothered to click the link because yon cop show (that is like all the others) is on in 5 minutes then let me summarize. You can survive out in the wilds by living off the excretions from yer own body. I don't mean making a yoghurt from yer fanny batter.

  
Fuck that's a disgusting idea. Did she take a look and a sniff of her snatch one day and say, "I bet I could make a tasty yoghurt from that goop?" ... no no and no! Now I can't eat yogurt without saying, "I bet you love that baby" and giving it some tongue.

My post was about boogers and cum, who doesn't eat that? Vegetarians often eat sperm be it human or bull sperm bought from the local butcher, otherwise they would die cos humans need animal protein.

Scientific fact says that if you live on vegetables alone for more than 3 months yer brain starts to shrink and yer IQ decreases giving you a sense of moral superiority over meat eaters so if you know a well adjusted, intelligent vegetarian or vegan, they have to be on the sperm though they probably won't admit it.      

  
Being a health expert I have to get my product out there. It's a health drink that can replace food and supply all yer body's needs and requirements to stay healthy. Various militaries across the werld have expressed an interest in Secretion 3000 because it enhances yer system not just maintains it. They have likened it to the super soldier semen serum given to Captain America but with less muscles and no height difference.


Old Knudsen has certain quirks .... probably to do with being on the autism spectrum or maybe to do with being a fallen angel who knows? He hates having to eat like so-called "normal" people do.

Creating a drink that is more quirk friendly made sense to him. He also hates cuddling after sex and making small talk and will cattle prod you with a taser made from one of those bug zappers if he feels threatened or pressured .... don't take it personally, it's just his way.  

People have busy lives and who has time to cook these days? Also with the constant bitching about fast food ... you aren't fooling anyone, fast food may be beneath you on social media and to yer gym friends but you can't get enough of yon happy meals.

Secretion 3000 gives you health and time. I'm not saying what the secret ingredient is, hence the name Secret - ion.  The aroma and the taste has been compared to salty bitter mucus top of the line fruit smoothies but without the fruit. 

Once the British Health Food Trade Association give it the go ahead you'll see Secretion 3000 exploding all over yer shop shelves. You'll wonder why you ever ate food in the first place. It may put you off replace food for you forever.


Janet has lived off Old Knudsen's Secretion for 2 years now, well she died last Wednesday due to asphyxiation from her rubber gimp mask but up until that point she was guzzling the stuff. 

She was once over weight and bullied because of it and now was buried looking like a super model .... I meant to get a testimonial from her so I'll probably have to make one up now, selfish bitch never once thought about how to help me. When I make my first million I'll name my yacht after her cos I'm a nice person.  



 

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