Thursday, 20 August 2015

New Earth-like Planet Found

Scientists have discovered an Earth like planet orbiting round a G2 type yellow star. Caplin K34T is 40% bigger than the Earth and has 2 thirds of it's surface covered in water.

Scientists ate the SETI Institute in Mountain View, California say that this new world could sustain human and plant life as it has been in the habitable zone for billions of years which would provide the necessary conditions for life and could possibly be quite Earth like.

NASA’s associate administrator John Gransfeild said, "from the data we have so far a human colony could live on Caplin K34T and within 2 years the planet would be ready for full scale colonization, we are really excited about the opportunities these finds give us to explore and to learn about the universe."   

As like the 1,030 confirmed Earth like planets that have been found, Caplan K34T is so far away that it would take you 32,000 years to travel there so what is the fucking point of getting so excited?

Yay! a planet that could save humanity once we're done destroying this one, maybe it has alien life that will be our friend and will give us special alien shit like ray guns.

Maybe it contains morons who just found Earth through a telescope and got all excited at how similar it is to their planet, if only they could get to it but finding it has validated their existence and they'll  continue to get funding. Only Economists and Climate scientists have job security these days.

I just made up this planet but fuck it and its fucking G2 star. There is bound to be intelligent life out there on some of those planets and maybe on the 4,700 possible candidates they've found and maybe they've seen us and said, "no intelligent life on that planet except for Old Knudsen."  If you were an alien would you waste yer time on us?

We need to get our rockets better or find some wormholes or something cos this planet is well fucked, soon the dentists won't have anything to shoot and we're running out of places to dump our toxic waste as people notice it when you dump it into the river. As a wise man once said, "we need breathing room" I think it was Stephen Hawking maybe.  

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