Friday, 31 July 2015

Robert And The Spider

Robert the Bruce fought with the English 6 times and 6 times was be beaten, he fled to the safety of a cave on Rathlin Island (Northern Ireland) while the evil puppy raping Sassenachs searched for him.

He was tired and heart broken as his army was scattered and broken and then he saw a spider building her web. Six times did she throw her web to try and reach the other side and six times did she fail. Robert watched entranced by this little creature battling the harsh breeze.

The spider didn't give up and did not lose heart and made it to the other side.

Robert thought about the spider never giving up and rose to his feet. He then squished it with the tip of his sword scabbard for he didn't want it to drop into his mouth while he slept ... for they do that sort of shit.

After a good spider free nights sleep Robert the Bruce said fuck those cunts I'll set about them and forced the English out of Scotland at the battle of Bannockburn in 1314 and became king.

The moral of the story is that spiders are stubborn wee shits that will nest in yer mouth and let its spider babies eat yer eyeballs and that the English don't like the cold steel up em.  

Thursday, 30 July 2015

Emasculating The Military

So I've covered that the 2nd Amendment was originally to cover white people having guns in order to quell any slave uprisings. Present day American people seem to think it gives them the right to have whatever and how many guns they want, it's a right like clean water and education is a right.

This is a people, many of whom fought against getting affordable health care as a right because being healthy and not in debt is a dirty socialist thing .... huh? I never understood how anyone could be against having healthcare, maybe because I didn't have it for 10 years.

The second Amendment states, 'A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.'   

That is saying you have the right, obviously it only meant white people back then, it would be worded differently if they thought the slaves would end up as free. It also says 'well regulated.' Regulated means control or supervise by means of rules and regulations. Militia means a force to supplement a regular army in an emergency or a military force that engages in rebel or terrorist activities.

Influenced by the English bill of rights of 1689 the British have since changed that law several times and included that weapons would be on condition of the law and the police which means no .... unless yer a farmer or land owner. I think it's well over time for the wording of the 2nd Amendment to get changed. An amendment being a formal or official change made to a law.  The NRA would never let such a thing to happen which more or less amounts to them being very un-American that they can block democracy with their influence.  

Don't worry, this suspicious looking dude will protect you. How can you tell the crazy criminals from people who look like crazy criminals?

People pick and chose what they want to believe and take whatever meaning they want, like religion. I really don't think it meant a teletubby on a power scooter armed to the teeth guarding a military recruiting center, whether they want it or not.
Believe or not there is a difference to those who have served and those currently serving, they'll respect and tolerate you to a point but yer now a civvie.  

When I was serving we didn't let any civvies guard us, our nuts would shrink up in shame if we had. The US military have asked civvies not to guard them, especially after one brave fellow shot the car park in Ohio by accident.

If you want to help defeat terrorism then join the fucking military, otherwise get the fuck out of the way Tinky Winky.


Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Dead Cat Makes The Headlines

End of the road for you Mr Pickles.

A road worker in County Kerry .... Ireland caused international outcry when he painted over a dead cat lying by the side of the road. The worker who has asked to remain anonymous for fear of his safety claims to not have seen the cat and that he did stop "the facking truck"

Irish president Michael Higgins has yet to make a comment on the matter but Taoiseach Edna Kenny .... who is  actually a man despite the name released the statement, "we are all in a state shock that something like this could ever happen here"  which was also the reaction his office sent out at the news of a horse called Hint of a Tint winning the big race on day two of the Galway Festival. We suspect they were on their lunch when we sent them our e-mail.

Will this cut short Obama's tour of Africa? ... I bet he hopes so.

Top English detective Sherlock Holmes has suggested that the cat painted its own legs, lay on the line and killed itself to get the road worker into trouble because cats are cunts like that.

Deadly Gull Attack Is Fatal

Death from above is what children scream when the gulls attack in every seaside town across the UK as Sea Gulls lay siege to towns favoured by hundreds tourists unaware of the flying menace.

In a statement from Downing street Home Secretary Theresa May said, "The Gull threat is the single most important danger to the UK next to radical Islamic extremists and Ebola spreading immigrants." 

She continued. 

"In line with recent budget cuts we are permitting the public to harvest the gulls as they would with fish when going fishing , this supplement to the dietary needs of many will help Britons to be strong and healthy and cut down on their shopping bills. Anyone can purchase a gull harvesting kit and a gull license for £5 which is free to senior citizens." 

One woman was attacked while walking her dog, she had actually been out trying to harvest gulls with her government approved kit of boomerang and sling shot but soon found out how fast they can be.  "I'll have to get more practice if I want to eat " she said as she stoically laughed off her dripping gash. 

This is a great idea! Times have been hard for old people in the UK as rationing from WWII only ended in the 80's and culturally we tend to send old people to a rest home to die and to be made into glue but those without anything of value and without families have had to rely on cats and cat food to give them protein and vitamins as meat is so expensive.

Why do old people eat cat food? For years we were told it was because it was cheap but no, old people just love that shit and it's tasty as fuck. Having loads of cats means that you can buy cat food and it looks like yer getting it for the cats and you can roast a few kitties when you have too many and who'll notice? 

Eating gulls gives the old and the poor a more varied diet and a sense that they are contributing to society.   

Downing street has yet to comment about ISIS radicalizing the gulls and how to tell if a gull is halal or not and does harvesting a black headed gull count as a racist crime? .... why does Downing street never reply to me? 

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Why Is The UK Bombing Syria?

Do you know where ISIS are?

Like every great leader, David Cameron has bled on the battlefield fighting to keep his nation safe. I don't want to hear a bad werd said against him, he's done 2 tours of Tuscany, 2 in Portugal and he's returning there next month. Mr Cameron has seen some shit, some gnarly soldier shit with peanuts and corn.
He's been awarded the Medal of Velour and the Victoria Secret for bravery in the face of insurmountable odds and was fatally wounded twice ... he got better, thank you NHS. Unlike Senator John McCain he wasn't stupid enough to get captured because real heroes run fast.

So when he vows to team up with the US and step up action in Syria to beat the "scourge" known as  ISIS, well I say, "look out ISIS cos you're your yer fucked".   

Hold on, wha? Syria? Who the fuck wants to go into Syria? In 2013 MP's voted against attacking targets in Syria. 

He says that only the US have bombed as many people in Iraq as the UK have but I guess he wants to bomb more interesting ones. Maybe those assholes that keep running off to join ISIS, aye they need a good bombing .... stupid cunts.
Since the war in Iraq is more or less won .... well except that 200 killed in a car bomb near Baghdad and the fact they own half the Anbar Province including Falluja and Ramadi, apart from that it's just about won.  

Ronald Reagan (left) also fought in the war when he wasn't selling weapons to Iran. 

It's almost as if they can't beat ISIS in one place so lets go and bomb Assad's ISIS' oil refineries instead. When did we suddenly go back to being the US lapdog? Did the Saudis give up and concentrated on bombing Yemen instead? 

I've always said that only lawrence .... Jennifer lawrence can unite the Arabs. 

Cameron who wants to cut the British army to a mere 50,000 which is as big an army that we had when the Americans beat us. The cunt is using the tourist shooting at Tunisia to justify going after ISIS .... now the 'Come to Tunisa' commercials all make sense. They just leave off the tag line, 'Come to Tunisia, we're waiting to shoot you.'  Like Bush with 9/11

It wouldn't surprise me if the US and the UK nudged Daesh into attacking Tunisia AGAIN this year but this time to get the right kind of tourist, British.

He said, "The Great British resolve faced down Hitler, defeated communism and saw off the IRA's assault on our way of life".    

 Captain America beating up Hitler.

Yes we faced down Hitler and cunningly let the Americans and the Russians defeat him. We defeated communism by making the US make cheesy action movies that made the commies all want to be westernised ..... yes, we are that clever. We saw off the IRA by giving them well paying jobs and positions of power .... in yer face Fenian cocksuckers, you fell for it, and you get yer expenses paid too. 

Churchill talked up the English superiority complex, just a weak version of what the master race was dishing out. He'd tell us how we were losing but make it sound noble because we were doing it with dignity, he was a right sneaky bugger. 

There is a new offensive going on in Iraq right now. Forces want to cut off supply lines from Turkey that go to Raqqa. I just think it's fucking amazing how we ended up in Syria. "Yeah I know we did that whole democracy thing but I just did what I wanted and the RAF are bombing Syria, I'm off on me hols to Portugal, latters."   

Monday, 27 July 2015

Kit Harrington Gets Lost In Belfast

So I was standing there, me hands in me pockets just watching all the young gurls in their skinny jeans and low cut tops and I was just thinking about happier times like the extremely satisfying bowel movement I had in 2004, at my age good times are few and far between.

A car stopped and a bloke got out, at first I thought he was a DJ cos he had these big ear phones but the hair and the abs made me soon realise that it was yon fella from Game of Thrones.

He was on the phone and seemed agitated taking puffs from his ciggie and fidgeting as he talked, "I have no bloody idea where I am, GPS? You know I get my left and right confused I shouldn't even be driving after last night, no way am I going to make it to the read at 2 o'clock. I hate it here, it's so dull and everyone is so angry, it's bad for my chi."   

He then saw me gingerly approaching him. 

"I'll ask this old guy, stay on the line he looks crazy I think he might be homeless."

I was thinking furiously in ma hed, Ned Stark, Tony Stark, Dan Snow ... no, it's Jon Snow so I yelled, JON SNOW YOU KNOW NOTHING!

I bet he never gets that. he chuckled politely and took a step back.

"Hello there, can you tell me where I am please? I have to be at the Titanic Quarter for 2 o'clock .... do you speak English?"

Such a lovely accent and the hair, Rachel Dolezal would be so envious. Aye yer no where near there, yon's a peace line which means you are surrounded by people who want to fuck you up for no other reason than boredom ....  watch yerself yon golf ball nearly hit you.

Golf balls and baseball bats are big sellers in Northern Ireland though we don't play those sports.

"I'll pay you if you can tell me which way to go."

Ach it's yer lucky day I know how to get there but I'm shite at giving directions. I find places by trial and error and blind luck, I'll come with you and we'll get you to the Titantic Quarter.

He had to tell the person on the phone that he was in a car with a strange man and to trace his phone if he didn't turn up, he was a nervous young man, I gave him one of me pills to help calm him doon.

After a few more pills and a stop for some ice cream we got to the Cathedral Quarter. After realizing our (really his) mistake we beat off the crowds of hipsters and students and got to the Game of Thrones studio in the Titanic quarter only 2 and a half hours late. 

They were going to have a police search but when they called the police they were told that missing persons was not their job .... our police are very picky about what they do. Since this was Belfast they were then just going to write him out as who knows what had happened to him?

We did get there in time for the party. Since there is fuck all to do in Belfast getting drunk and eating crisp sandwiches is the usual past time. Most of the cast was there, I'm shite with names but ginger, snuffed nose chick, the dragon lady, even Gandalf and Stanis were there.

So much booze and platters of coke it was like the 80's all over again. I found out all about the next season.

The lady in red does a spell and Jon Snow morphs with his big dog Ghost and becomes like a werewolf . Stanis comes back to life as a white walker and has a satisfying career in childcare. The big tall chick reveals she was born with both male and female genitals and cuts her dick off and gives it to Theon who has fallen in love with Sansa but she doesn't like him .... in fact she doesn't like anything and re-dyes her hair black and goes full on Emo. 

Khaleesi joins up with yon barbarian tribe and infects them with her liberal wishy washy ideas and before they know it they are all into human rights and sword control. Since she is now famous she still doesn't get her baps out .... in real life that is another matter. Yeah yeah yeah I'll snort a line off yer norks if it shuts you the fuck up. 

To think, Seth MacFarlane tapped that, that's almost as bad as Sean Penn tapping Scarlett Johansson. Luckily Old Knudsen can departmentalize and get on with the job ... unless it's door handles, ach the germs. I'd never let a door handle do reverse cowgurl on me.

Arya who is now blind has to learn to be no one without vision. Since she is now 18 her character will often forget to tie up her blouse and will learn to love it doggy style but will not know who did it ..... aye like a party at Bill Cosby's hoose.  She ends up killing all the main characters because well she can't exactly see who she is swinging at.  Fat Sam still somehow manages to live though.

Gandalf will defeat the white walkers and since he is a beloved character he'll die pointlessly afterwards, probably slipping in the bath. 

Peter Dinklage is leaving after this season for fear of being typecast, he'll be replaced by Henry Cavill who will be available then after the Superman movie flops. You can see Dinklage in the Hobbit stage show directed by Kevin Spacey ... Dinklage IS Bilbo.

Tyrion will become powerful when he trolls everyone in harshly worded letters while drunk and Roose Bolton will be reduced to tears and will give up the north. Ramsay goes into therapy and discovers that it's everyone else who is fucked in the head, not him.

I didn't know that the guy who plays Jamie Lannister actually had his hand removed for the role, he gets it put back on after every season. He doesn't mind the nerve damage if it means an honest performance .. what a guy. 

So yeah, pretty much what everyone has been expecting. Jon Snow is indeed in Belfast and doesn't mind that I liked his half brother Robb better. Soon you'll be seeing more of the cast up the duff and using body doubles to hide it ... Knudsen is cumming.  

Sunday, 26 July 2015

New 9/11 Pictures

 Why does everyone keep asking me what to do? 

Pictures that have never been seen before of Bush and Cheney at a secure location at Camp David during the 9/11 attacks have been circulating over the past few days.

Building 7, c'mon building 7.

I think they show the human face of the evil 8 year Bush admin as they wait to see if the public catches on or not. Will they believe building 7 just fell ? ..... Will they believe Osama Bin Laden if we say it enough?  

Captain Kirk A Republican?

Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz touched upon one of the hottest topics in the US today. The elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about for fear of alienating voters ... no not race.

He suggested that Captain Kirk was a Republican. "If you look at ’Star Trek: The Next Generation,’ it basically split James T. Kirk into two people. Picard was Kirk’s rational side, and William Riker was his passionate side. I prefer a complete captain. To be effective, you need both heart and mind."

 He said what? 
 "The original ‘Star Trek’ was grittier, Kirk is working class; Picard is an aristocrat. Kirk is a passionate fighter for justice; Picard is a cerebral philosopher. The original ‘Star Trek’ pressed for racial equality, which was one of its best characteristics, but it did so without sermonizing."

Spock: "It's a book Jim, The tale of two cities by Charles Dickens" 

Kirk: "What the fuck am I supposed to do with this ya big fruit, who gives someone a book as a birthday present? ..... I even doubt I'll be able to have sex with it, I'll try but I doubt it."

Shatner had something to say about Cruz's comments, "Star Trek wasn’t political. I’m not political; I can’t even vote in the US."

What the fuck does Shatner know about Kirk? .... Isn't Chris Pine Kirk? .... just kidding of course he isn't, that's like saying Daniel Craig or Roger Moore is Bond, we all know that Bond was GEORGE FUCKING LAZENBY and always shall be ..... or David Niven maybe Woody Allen.   

Cruz likes to compare himself to Kirk but would Cruz eat a cup full of pussy for lunch like Kirk does? He doesn't support abortion, even in case of rape and incest, he hates the pussy. 

In 2012 Cruz said that Obama's mother being a citizen is irrelevant, because his father wasn't a citizen he shouldn't be president.
In 2015 he said that his own mother was an American citizen, it's irrelevant what his father was. His father is Cuban and like Shatner Cruz was also born in Canada.

In Space Seed Kirk gives Lt McGivers the choice of court martial or going into exile to be with the controlling probably insane manipulative man (Khan) that she loves so he is all about giving weemen a choice.

Sorry Cruz, only the likes of Battlestar Galactica (2004) allows Hispanics into space and puts them into positions of power and you ain't even an Adama.   

Shatner is wrong though, Star Trek was very political. A Russian character during the Cold war, a black female character who was kissed by a white man during the civil rights era. A utopian society in which everyone was equal (except for rank) which had strong females (in mini skirts) doing important jobs. The world they lived in was socialist that bordered on Communism, money and the greed for money no longer existed .... not very Republican or Democrat.

Bones never once asked for proof of insurance before waving a salt and pepper shaker over yer head.

Kirk may have fought or shagged whatever he could but his moral compass was sure and he valued out of the box thinking. He never used the Bible to make others feel worthless and respected the human and alien rights of others.

In Star Trek 6 the undiscovered cuntry he over came his hatred and near racism of Klingons who had killed his son and tried to fuck him up at every turn. A very cold war political movie that happened after the fall of the Berlin wall and the acceptance of Russia. You can apply that hatred he had for the Klingons to present day Muslims or gheys if you want but could or would Cruz or other Bible thumping Republicans surrender to the Klingons in order not to start a war or would they shields up and finish the Klingon bastards off?

Picard even dealt with his PTSD while Kirk thrived on wallowing.

Star Trek 6 was actually to help fans accept Picard more as it was at the time the final Original cast movie. The next generation explored the other cast members more. No thick accents unless you count Picard's French by way of Yorkshire accent but you had the character of Data who like Spock was exploring what it meant to be human which was a recurring theme.   

Picard is a diplomat but in Star ship mine and First contact he easily man's up and straps on a gun to do what needs to be done but keeping his humanity and not acting out of revenge or rage was something that made him who he was rather than a silly political party. Defining yourself as a Republican or a Democrat limits you, Kirk and Picard were humans first, their ideals changed if they were wrong or no longer fitted in with the times and they were not a 'one size fits all' when it came to rules.

Kirk I need you to beat up the bad guy, save the day and probably die while I survive and take the credit.   

The main thing that both had in common was a sense of duty and personal sacrifice though neither would go for the White House if it meant leaving the Enterprise.  

Later Star Treks put a black guy in charge and then a woman, things that the US seems to be rushing towards for president to just be able to say that they did it.  

Cruz is no Kirk and Kirk is no Republican as surely as Picard is no Democrat .... not that there is much of a difference these days. 


Saturday, 25 July 2015

Hulk Hogan Endorses Donald Trump

Fresh after the termination of his employment from WWE for using racial slurs, Hulk Hogan endorses presidential hopeful Donald Trump. Hogan who admitted that he may be a little bit racist, especially about those, "fucking niggers" says the country would be in safe hands with Donald as president.

Donald stood up for his friend and said that his words were probably taken out of context and if Hulk ever goes into politics he'd have a job in his administration throwing wetbacks into the shark pits.

We aren't quite sure what he meant by that but they both laughed .... a lot.      

Fried Foods Means Fat Seman

The US Navy have stopped serving fried foods on their wee boats because the sailors are getting too fat to cuddle.
The Navy isn't very exercise orientated since they are on ship, boat or sub so getting exercise can be difficult but not impossible.

The US Marines are always bragging about how tough and fit they are and if they can get exercise then so can the sailors.
I've been aboard British naval vessels and those doors and hatches are a squeeze with my manly shoulders and firm erect nipples, you wouldn't need to be a claustrophobic fat fucker on those things.    
 Rihanna looked pretty fit when she was in the navy.

This has nothing to do with the healthy school meals Michelle Obama is forcing on the kids as she has no say with the military. I think they should enforce discipline and keep to the annual fitness tests rather than treat sailors as children.

I reckon a lot of fat shaming will be going on on board after this.  

Take Trump's Breath Away

 I feel the need, the need for a nap.

John McCain is in the news yet again, not because he's running for president and has chosen a total moron as his running mate or because he is over in Iraq funding and training ISIS terrorists but because Donald Trump slagged him off. The Maverick has taken a broadside from the loose cannon.

 You know what your problem is McCain? .... you're dangerous.
The Don said,

"He is a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured, OK? I hate to tell you. He is a war hero because he was captured. OK, you can have -- I believe perhaps he is a war hero."
"I think John McCain’s done very little for the veterans. I’m very disappointed in John McCain."

 Like many tough talkers Trump got deferments to avoid serving.

In 1967 McCain was shot down over Vietnam, his leg and both arms were broken, the VC got to him and smashed his shoulder with a rifle butt and stuck a bayonet into his foot. Over the next 5 and a half years he was beaten and tortured, his wounds were not treated and he wasn't expected to live. When they found out he was the son of an admiral he got better treatment and was forced to make a propaganda video denouncing the US. 

Trump got student deferments and a medical deferment for a foot thing, he then didn't get called up when they introduced the Vietnam lottery in 1969. The biggest hardship Trump faced was keeping out of nam and collecting rents in low income neighbourhoods for his Da. He wrote about the horror of these people who'd throw their trash out the window rather than put it into the dumpster in his memoirs. 

McCain is an asshole and while he hasn't done a lot for veterans, they will admit that he has helped them, not all the time but sometimes. 

Kit Carson

Is John McCain a hero? The good Senator from Arizona has been forcing Navajo/Hopi injuns off their land to get at the water and mining rights, that doesn't sound heroic then again Kit Carson the 1800's  frontiersman, mountain man, Indian agent and US army officer was classed as a hero. He even had dime novels written about his exploits.

He killed and scalped Indians, he destroyed whole villages with hundreds of people in them and the fucker cut doon the Navajo's sacred peach trees. Who knows how many villages McCain destroyed during his bombing runs.

The word hero gets used way too much and too easily. McCain served and since he had a record of crashing planes then the chances of him being eye to eye with the enemy were high. He got caught, was tortured and broken, he tried to kill himself but was prevented he survived, it wasn't heroism, it was survival. Sure he was brave but Donald does have a point that he only became a hero because he got caught. Also because he went into politics and yer military record gets used for political gain.

I think being called a hero is like a consolation prize then again these days you get awards for a sex change and get called a hero for winning races.

The US military give purple hearts for anyone who gets wounded. You fail and get wounded so you get a medal? .... one more medal than those who did their job better or were luckier got.  Some use the old, 'he gave more than most' excuse and how McCain can't lift his hands over his head, doesn't stop him from taking kick backs and being a dick.

He survived and did a lot better than many vets thanks to his life of privilege. Many other vets aren't being called a hero and have to fight for every drop of health care they get. I bet McCain doesn't have to wait at a VA for treatment. 

Call McCain a war veteran, not a war hero, he ain't no Audie Murphy. Though I do understand yer politically correct need to call him a hero. It's bad that it takes a slagging off from Trump to have people rally round and cheer for a scumbag they usually wouldn't give the time of day to, Trump has that effect on people.  

Friday, 24 July 2015

The Future Is Trump

I want to be a part of it Trump Trump, Trump Trump. 

So I've decided to back Donald Trump for president. Every time I back someone my influence gets them in. Old Knudsen isn't just the greatest blogger in the werld, he's the most powerful. He's the Ayatollah of blogarolla, the scourge of the mainstream the hater of haters and he has his own teeth ... aye bought and paid for.  

When the werld wanted free porn I invented the Interwebs. You've seen movies like The Thomas Edison story, think of a montage of Old Knudsen filling up tubes full of Internet failing and then eventually succeeding and yes, when you do jump up to punch the air you do indeed go into freeze frame, I was stuck like that for an hour.

    The rest is history .... or rather mystory.

Being a devotee to the Gawd Loki I favour discord and thatcord, I want chaos and crazy ass things to talk about. I believe that Trump can deliver on that.

Trump has enough money to build a wall to keep all the drug dealers and rapists out. He won't be sentimental about the environment and will bulldoze that shit to create a golf course or 10. He's a smart man, why waste American lives fighting over sand? He'll hire other cuntries to fight for the US. "Hey Greece, want to eat this week? ... well go fight Daesh ya hairy bottom pinching losers."

The only problem with Trump being president (maybe of the world) is that he'd name everything after himself ... except the United Kingdom of Knudsen which will be my prize for backing him. We have a special relationship just like the US and the UK ... though he does get annoyed if you get jizz in his hair.
His name may sound like a fart trapped between fat ass cheeks but I can assure you his ideas are as gaseous as his name.

Trump plans to make G-20 and G-8 meetings pay per view and similar to the Apprentice of  the Dragon's den. "Germany, you've lost 2 world wars out of incompetence, sure you appear to be wealthy and in control but we can't trust you .... yer fired." And of course he'd launch a nuke.

Fuck Germany, they made the British Royal family Nazi and when yer most famous person of all time is an Austrian dictator who isn't even German then you have problems. 

Trump can re-boot American or rather the United states of Trump. On his financial disclosure list he has 515 interests with his name or initials in the title, everything will be Trump. The future is Trump, vote Trump because he's ape shit crazy.  


Obama Doesn't Care What You Think

President Obama really doesn't give a shit. It's coming up to the end of his second term and as he puts it, "being president isn't that hard."He,

Improved the economy with his stimulus package, he created more jobs in 2010 than Bush had done in 8 years, he saved the auto industry, he helped the US housing market recover, encouraged small businesses, he cut ties between energy companies and the government, ordered all federal contractors to pay a minimum wage of $10.10 per hour, under him the country to 64 consecutive months of economic expansion, reduced the deficit by two-thirds, the stock market restored most of the economic losses felt during the Bush Recession, banned gifts from lobbyists to anyone in the Executive Branch, became the first to stream every White House event live, signed a law to reform NSA Data Collection program, ordered 65 Wall street executives who took bailout money to cut their own pay until they paid back all bailout money, repealed the discriminatory Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy, changed his mind and supported same-sex marriage, issued an order requiring hospitals to allow visitation by same-sex couples, he extended federal benefits to same-sex couples, appointed more openly gay officials than anyone in history, appointed first openly transgender Cabinet Official in History, he made a law that gave cake to everyone on Thursdays, saw the first drop in the federal prison population in 32 years, helped to restore America’s reputation around the world though everyone still hates the US, closed a number of secret detention facilities Gitmo will be soon, refused to give Israel the green light to attack Iran, prohibited the use of torture or enhanced interrogation, ended the failed F-22 program, saving $4 billion, ended the Iraq War ... ish, shot Osama between the eyes with a drone, made nice with China and Cuba, made a deal with Iran that will prevent them from getting a nuclear weapon anytime soon, increased border security, got combat troops with better body armor, supported and signed Veterans Health Care Budget Reform and Transparency Act, pushed through the largest spending increase in 30 years for Department of Veterans Affairs, a $4.6 billion expansion of the Veterans Administration budget to pay for more mental health professionals, issued an Executive Order to improve access to mental health care for veterans, military personnel and their families, ended the media blackout on coverage of the return of fallen soldiers, major expansion of broadband availability in schools, major expansion in school construction, expanded the Pell Grants program to get low income students to college, passed and signed Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, increased funding for student financial aid, ended restrictions on embryonic stem cell research, more federal funding to support non-defense science and research labs, signed Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act, provided financial support for private sector space programs, signed a bill authorizing FDA to regulate tobacco, provided $500 million for Health Professions Training Programs, a 50% decrease in cost of prescription drugs for seniors, made it legal to fuck any animal under 40 LBS, signed the Children’s Health Insurance Reauthorization Act, signed the Affordable Care Act, helped lower-income and rural families in accessing broadband, created new rules to give all women with insurance the right to free birth control, cracked down on companies that were previously denying sick pay, vacation and health insurance, cut taxes for 95% of America’s working families, a $20 billion increase for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (Food Stamps), passed the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act, six weeks paid leave for all federal employees with a new baby, the first time since 1984 that unemployment dropped in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, doubled federal spending on clean energy research, a tax credit to help people buy plug-in hybrid cars, dependence on foreign oil has dropped to its lowest rate since 1985, stricter standards limiting power plant emissions, strengthened the Endangered Species Act, increased funding for National Parks and Forests by 10%, a tripling in the use of wind power to generate electricity, expanded clean water regulations, increased funding for the National Endowment for the Arts.

Of course not every positive is a positive such as his plan for net neutrality and his increased jobs in drones and weapons manufacturing. But, not bad for a Muslim black kid from Kenya .... he did better than Bush and even Reagan in many places.


Charles Lindbergh Not Such A Hero


Charles Lindbergh as you may remember is the all American hero who flew solo for the first time across the Atlantic in 1927. James Stewart played him in the movie and Stewart is a likeable war hero so his status as all American hero is secured.

Lindbergh served in WWII flying bomber raids in the Pacific theater and has been on postage stamps so a total fucking hero. It was a real shame that his baby son was kidnapped huh.

 He believed in forming a neutrality pact with Hitler.

Lindbergh was a Nazi sympathizer, like many clueless idiots he liked the idea of white European superiority and was against dilution of the races by inter marrying. He thought that the Jew population did need to be controlled but a certain type of Jew was beneficial to countries, if only we could just have a small amount of those. A believer in eugenics he was told that he was the perfect breeding material for the master race.

He was confused by the violence that occurred during Hitler's rise to power as Germans are usually so ordered and controlled. When WWII broke out he went around the US preaching about non-involvement .... Like how Jim Carey gets on about vaccinations and Trump gets on about immigrants.       

Lindbergh with fat fuck Hermann Göring in 1936 who awarded him a medal. 

In 1932 Linbergh's 20 month old son Charles jr was kidnapped from the family home in New Jersey. Lindbergh was a massive celeb at that time and had been made a wealthy man with sponsorship deals. Not bad for a college drop out.


When Lindbergh's wife Anne first heard about the kidnapping she had hoped it was Charles playing a prank on her like the time he hide the baby in their dumpster and scared the shit out of her .... funny as fuck, what a prankster. 

Lindbergh told the police to back off and dealt with the kidnappers himself. He paid them $50,000 which was less than they had wanted but they took it. The bills were marked to try to catch them later. 

In May of 1932 two weeks after the ransom had been paid the baby was found dead in the woods just 4 miles from the home. The baby had some deformities that the public didn't know about such as a large skull that was quite thin with parts that hadn't fused, this is known as craniosynostosis and can also cause some internal organs to be enlarged and mal-formed. The baby also had over lapped toes. 

Lindbergh identified the body by counting the teeth and looking at the toes. There had been some animal damage though some doctors today wonder why the organs that would have been effected by the craniosynostosis had been eaten while others hadn't. 

Police questioned the British nanny repeatedly .... yes, British nannies were well suspect even then. The nanny drank some silver polish and killed herself and afterwards the police cleared her, they were just a little heavy handed with their questioning. 

     Bruno Richard Hauptmann in the light suit. 

Richard Hauptmann a German immigrant was tried for the crime. He paid for gas at a filling station with a gold certificate and the attendant thought it odd and took down his license plate.  As a teenager he had fought in WWI on the Western front, afterwards he couldn't find work as a carpenter in post war recession hit Germany so he turned to a life of crime. He failed to get into the USA because of his criminal record but after he used a stolen landing card he did. If yer ancestor couldn't get into the US in 1923 then blame him. 

He married Anna Schoeffler, had a child and lived in the Bronx. Money from the ransom was found at his home, wood from the ladder used to take the baby out of it's nursery window was found at his house too. He claimed the money was from a deceased friend of his named Isidore Fisch. During the trial he was named the 'The Most Hated Man in the World' and repeatedly said he was innocent, right up to the time when they fried him. He could have gotten a life sentence if he had confessed. 

Hauptmann was not picked out from a line up by the guy who paid the ransom money and none of his finger prints were found on the ladder or anywhere else. His wife fought for years to clear his name saying that he had been framed. 
I think he may have been an accomplice more than anything.  

Jews .... What's that about?

One theory has it that the baby was dropped and died while being kidnapped as the ladder was not very stable. A fracture to its head was the probable cause of death.   

Lindy and car making hero Henry Ford, they'd talk for hours blaming the Jews on everything ... lovely people. 

Lindbergh was a eugenics nut and a control freak narcissist, having a deformed son would have been shameful for him and a challenge to his world view of perfection. 
It's all very odd and facts get lost due to celebrity. Lindbergh wasn't all that and went from being a hero to being a pariah. Seems that he was a total dick, that's the trouble with heroes, they are also human.   

Lindbergh and his wife Anne Morrow went on to have 6 children, he also had at least 3 affairs, with his personal assistant and Brigitte a German woman and her sister Marietta. He went on to have 3 illegitimate children who were raised in Germany which was very odd as both German women were disabled and not able to walk properly due to childhood illnesses. 



Thursday, 23 July 2015

Should Crazy People Be Allowed To Own Guns?

A man begrudgingly made to give up his prized AR-15 because he drinks beer at the weekends.

The Obama administration is pushing to ban those on Social Security from owning guns if they lack the mental capacity to manage their own affairs. It's to bring the laws into line with those of the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) which is used to prevent guns being sold to criminals, drug addicts and illegal immigrants. 

The kind of background check that Dyann Roof passed even after his arrest for possession of drugs. Ronald Reagan created the background check in 1981 after an assassination attempt.

The Department of Veterans Affairs is one of the bodies that report people who may be incapable of managing their own affairs from mental illness, incompetency or by some condition, or disease. More than half on their list are older people with dementia or some other reason to not be allowed to have a gun.

Critics have said that those who may not be able to balance a checkbook or are forgetful are not dangerous, violent or unsafe and should not be punished for financial reasons.

Every breath you take every move you make I'll be watching you. 

Many veterans who are deemed unsafe or disabled find comfort in going to the range. You can have PTSD and not want to kill all the stupid motherfuckers who waste yer air. The vet with PTSD that went on a shooting spree that killed Chris Kyle and his friend was also into drugs and drink and not getting the help he needed so putting a weapon in his hands was a total brain fart. 

Most people that kill seem to be not getting the health care that they need. 

Yeah he should really have a gun.

Of course as usual laws try to apply to everyone equally but end up punishing some by not being flexible to special cases. If you got blew up in Iraq and made disabled from the waist down and had to go on disability then why should you have yer guns taken? ... do you have yer car taken too? 

When a shooting happens the media and the public do several predictable things. One is that some use the shooting as proof that everyone should be armed to prevent such shootings in the future which is crazy, after someone is killed in a DUI should all drivers be given drink before they drive? More guns after a spree that kills 26 people is not the answer.   

If guns prevented people from getting shot then cops would never get shot.

Another thing that people do is to figure out how and where he got the guns from. He was being treated for schizophrenia and was able to order guns online .... What the fuck?

One call is usually for better mental health care services to find these people before a shooting happens, that goes into the whole Minority report future crime zone. You can't tell what people will do what but criminals, junkies and people with dementia do not need access to guns, it's a no brainer. 

Those with mental health issues that are violent and dangerous also do not need guns but they can be held onto by a family member until they get better because people do get better. Suicide is not really an issue as people will do it with a gun or not.  

Should people who believe in a superior invisible being that they talk to via telepathy be allowed to own guns? .... I don't think so nor does my co-pilot Jesus.

As for the competence with their own affairs, until you stop stupid people from driving and breeding then they should be allowed to own weapons. If they were bought at another time when they had money or given as a gift then what is the problem? 

You can say that Obama is out to take yer guns, that argument is usually based of fear and ignorance. A right to own guns is not a need but I get it, many people like guns. It could be argued that Old Knudsen with his history of PTSD and depression might have his weapons taken which would be sad because if there is one person that needs to be armed it's Old Knudsen, he'd only shoot those that need it ... Hoors get cut up as bullets cost money. 

I wouldn't worry about Obama taking yer guns, I'd worry about Bill Cosby cos that fucker gets you when you are sleeping. Old Knudsen hasn't slept for years because of him.  

Obama for his faults is trying to stop the stupid shooting sprees by giving people health care and making sure crazy and criminal people can't get guns so easily. Is that bad that he doesn't want another Sandy Hook to happen?  
Is it bad that people don't mind 20 kids and 6 teachers from getting killed or 9 church goers or 4 Marines getting shot as long as everyone who wants a gun can have one? 

This law needs a review process at the beginning rather than an appeal after you lose yer guns, at least this is something.  


Wednesday, 22 July 2015

The Royal Family Are Nazis

Back in the day it was ok to be a Nazi, people loved being Nazi because who doesn't like flags and parades? Instead of reading the paper and shaking yer head and saying, "It's the bloody immigrant's fault" or even the Jews because Europe has always been quite anti-Semitic you'd be reading in the paper that it is their fault.

Christian white people were told that they weren't white trash and that they were special and chosen by an imaginary being in the clouds .... who wouldn't want to believe that? I wish that Superman would chose me like he did Lois Lane, is that too much to ask for?

 Even Americans loved being Nazis.

Seeing Princess Elizabeth with her mother and uncle Edward doing a Nazi salute in 1933 shouldn't be a shock. She was 7 for fucks sake .... then again her mother wasn't 7 .... ah the beloved Queen mother, what a very special lady. Edward VIII was a well known Nazi sympathizer.

   Explaining why the dog smells terrible even without a nose to Joseph Goebbels in 1937.

Ever since Hitler came to power in 1933 he had tried to set Edward up with German girls to get him even more connected to Germany. Edward naturally leaned towards the fascism of Germany as many of his kind did and he hated the Bolsheviks of Russia for killing his godfather Tsar Nicholas II and family in 1918.

In 1967 Prince Philip said about visiting Russia, "I would like to go to Russia very much, although the bastards murdered half my family."

 Sir Oswald Mosley and his British fascists. 

Hitler had wanted to set Edward up as a puppet king of England after Germany had invaded of course and even planned to kidnap Edward. Churchill made Edward the governor of the Bahamas to keep him out of trouble and to keep an eye on him.

I'm sure that Nazi sympathies in the royal family didn't just end at Edward. Due to the deaths in 1918 the royal family took notice of what the public thought because hey if it could happen in Russia .... It was in 1917 during WWI that they changed their name from Saxe-Coburg and Gotha to disassociate themselves from the Germans they were fighting, though it did take them 3 years of war to do it. 

 The English football team that the German Olympics were all pleased to be Nazis, it's what you do right? 

Not everyone at the Olympics felt the need to be polite to evil monsters. USA USA!

The Nazis thought they were the master race, they thought they were somehow naturally superior, the British royal family would never think that would they? I'm sure the British royal family think they are just as good and no better than the average person on the street .... NOT!

   Some families are just superior and born to rule  .... eh Hilary? 

Being a royal must be a real mind fuck. You get taught from an early age how different you are, how special you are with people begging for a wave and everything being done for you. The main thing they teach the royals is to not show how rich and privileged you are to the public because public opinion is a fickle beast. 

Privileged and out of touch.

Prince Harry lets it slip because he's young dumb and full of ginge. The PR machine then goes into overtime and you soon forget a couple of years ago and everyone loves him. 

Maybe Harry should be going to tolerance museums rather than Vegas. 

I'm sure there is one side of the royal family we see in public and one side we don't see, we don't know these people, we see them over the years and watch them grow up but we don't know them.  

Spoiled, pampered, entitled and probably well Nazi orientated, it shouldn't be a big shock. I think the shock is that the Queen managed to hide it for so long.