Monday, 22 June 2015

You Might As Well Face It Yer Addicted To Love ... Handles

 But I have to find out which 16th century composer I am.

Addiction is a tricky subject, mostly because people get touchy or defensive about it. So many addictions and so many things described as addiction which are not really addiction. It's about habits that give you instant gratification, that a person pathologically pursues to get a reward or fix and because you are used to doing it as it is a source of familiarity and comfort. 

Depression and staying with abusers has also been described that way. It becomes a habit and something you are familiar with so you just do it.  You don't deserve better anyways .... that's what people say, mmm-mmm, that's what people say, mmm-mmm.

Shake it off. 

While Addiction is described a disease it's more of a learned behaviour. Too much or too little of certain things can be bad for you, too little exercise or too much exercise can led you to an early grave. The reason why you need to do something usually goes back further than just the, 'it makes me feel good' or 'I've always done it' excuses.      

Addiction diminishes yer ability to see problems caused by yer actions and often leads to relationship difficulties and can lead to you starting other addictions. It is selfish because it's all about YOU. 

Alcohol, smoking and obesity are the socially accepted addictions but they very often get targeted as being harmful and the common pleb doesn't like that because it's what they do. We don't want snooty teetotalers and non-smokers who are skinny telling us what to do. 

The Northern Ireland Loyalists call the parades commission IRA sympathizers when they announce parading restrictions (like you can't play anti-Catholic tunes while walking past a Catholic chapel) and the parades commission have many from the Unionist community serving on it ... they just don't like being told not to be dicks.    

Who hasn't gotten drunk and got into a fight? .... probably only those who aren't British, Irish or Scottish huh?
Drink responsibly are the buzz words otherwise you fight, drive drunk or ruin yer own wedding by staggering around on the dance floor and puking over yer bride .... maybe we just weren't meant to be together.
Being Irish or Scottish are great excuses for being drunk, sure didn't we turn religious St Patrick's day into a drink fest? ..... didn't we turn every day of the week into a drink fest?

Yes drinking impairs yer judgement and before you know it you go to bed with a hottie only to wake up with someone yer wing man should have had .... yes, Old Knudsen is that shallow.
I could curl yer teeth with some of the things Old Knudsen has woken up with, weemen, men, chicks with dicks, farm animals, vegetables, hoosehold appliances and in 1947 I awoke with a dead Grey lying beside me ... no those were the things you'd expect me to wake up to, I'm no telling you the bad and embarrassing stuff.        

Here is something Old Knudsen won't be popular for, I don't like the soccer player George Best. Oh whatever, he came from Belfast and was good at kicking a football until he gave it up to be a drunk. I don't like snooker player Hurricane Higgins or the Titanic either .... I don't have to automatically like something just because it's from Belfast and got famous or infamous. There is a film to be made about George Best and the Belfast Telegraph keeps saying how they can't find anyone good looking enough to play him.

Aye the Belfast tele doesn't get out much if they think he's so stunning, just look at Old Knudsen's profile pic.   

Best became known more for his partying and womanising than his football. I couldn't tell you what teams he played for but I remember him getting on like Rod Stewart and hooking up with every blonde with a fake tan and white teeth.
Being an alcoholic he killed his liver, he then had a liver transplant and killed that too so I'm no too sympathetic, someone who appreciated it could have had that liver. I bet his fame got him to the top of the transplant list too.  
Old Knudsen understands the need to blot out yer life with an easy fix and to feel good for a few hours but when you run from yer troubles or hide from them they always find you and like I said the reason for doing what you do usually goes back to something else.

Those pop stars and actors who become drink and drug addicts because they got famous obviously hadn't thought things through very well. Don't you feel sorry for those people who get too much money and adulation for something they love to do? .... They need to live hand to mouth cos that is where the real stress is. The common people dance and drink and screw, because there's nothing else to do.

Drinking can be selfish if taken too far. Driving while drunk and killing someone is the ultimate example of that and it happens all the time. 

I do laugh when smokers get all defensive and then start attacking fat people because hey get off my case!

Old Knudsen's Ma nearly always had a cigarette in her hand when photographed and certainly when she made the dinner.
Me Da used a pipe and said he could give up any time he wanted to, he just didn't want to. The doctor even refused to treat him for his cough because he wouldn't stop smoking. I'd always eat fast because when me Da finished he'd light up his pipe at the dinner table.

Aye the hoose I grew up in always had yellow walls and I didn't notice the smell so much. Then you grow up and date, you kiss a smoker or you smoke yerself and wake up the morning after a night out smelling like and yer mouth tasting like an ashtray ... those were before the days of smoking bans in pubs and restaurants.   

Smoking is selfish because it involves others who don't want to smoke getting caught up in yer habit. If you enjoy farting in crowded elevators or cars as Old Knudsen does then that can be compared to sharing yer smoking.

The ultimate irony is going to the hospital and seeing people in dressing gowns and in wheelchairs outside the cancer building smoking away. Old Knudsen's grandfather died from throat cancer but since he was an Orangeman, whatever.  

Like dog walkers who don't lift their poo ... or their dog's poo smokers treat the Earth as an ashtray. Throwing yer butt into a gutter is not being considerate. Then there are those who empty their car ashtray onto the ground because well you don't want yer car being stinky. In Callyfornia many many wildfires are caused by a fag butt getting thrown from a car.

Seeing restaurant workers smoking reminds me of a toothbrush stored in a bathroom, I can just imagine all the fecal matter clinging to it but then again I've got weird OCD about germs. The five second rule when you drop food doesn't apply if the food is something tasty that you wanted to eat ... perfectly clean.

Walking past smokers standing in restaurant or shop doorways is annoying, seriously people go hide in a corner and get out of my way. Then when yer leaving and someone gets an inch out the door, they stop to lit up as if they were a junkie who hasn't had a fix in days .... GET OUT OF MY WAY!

Self control people! As like gun control, alcohol and smoking gets ruined by selfish cunts who abuse it. We can't have guns in the UK because people shoot others with them ... oh and because we're always drunk.
 I bought these just for the post, sorry that I look a little bloated in the pic I was constipated. 

Old Knudsen IS British and is in fact more stiff upper lip than most. He's a stoic throw back to the days of the empire. He holds doors for ladies, leads from the front and ignores flesh wounds so the natives don't see that he's human.

Quit being so fucking selfish with yer addictions, when you rub everyone's faces in them they react negatively and push back. Do them in the quiet shame of privacy because the times are changing, try to keep up. No, I'll still fart in elevators cos it's funny when I blame someone else.

I've seen people saying that plus sized models are making obesity more acceptable. The people they are calling obese are what I'd call um normal people.

Fat shaming is fun because putting others down to make yerself feel good is a perfectly normal abuser tactic .... did I say that out loud?

This fat bloke was dancing to some music but then he stopped when he saw some guys laughing at him. The Youtube went viral and he was hunted down and found and many weemen and A-list stars came forward to invite him to the US to dance with them.

A happy story ... sure he may get a heart attack from all the dancing or he'll lose his belly due to the exercise and then he won't be a fat man any longer, just a man .... no more pity dances and pecks on the cheek.

It does annoy me when the media try to push the 'fat people are sexy' agenda. Sexy is an attitude combined with what you'd got and difficult to capture on film. Kim Kardashian isn't sexy, she's attractive but not sexy.
Years ago a hottie in a skin tight jumpsuit sat on me lap, all I could think about was how boney her arse was. That encounter didn't last long ... I reckon I think too much some times. 

  The sexy look done properly.

The problem is what we think is normal. Is a skinny chick who starves herself the norm because that is what the fashion houses and the movies tell us? They use skinny tall models because their clothes look good on them.

The woman on the right has a perfectly fine body but that dress is not for her. Old Knudsen doesn't look as good in ass-less chaps as the village people do but he wears them anyways because in his head he's a golden god.

Looking sexy is not for everyone just as see through dresses aren't. Those memes that have what you think you look like and what the reality is are spot on. One of the reasons we have addictions is that we can't be happy with ourselves because we believe the fantasy that the media shows us or we believe the crap that the haters throughout our lives have told us. 

Food addiction. Why do you care that someone is fat? They aren't eating in front of you with their mouth open. Unlike drinking, smoking or farting in lifts they aren't sharing their addiction or forcing it onto others.

It reminds me of the anti-vaxxers who'll risk the life of their child because to them and their selfish logic being autistic is far worse than having yer child alive.

Oh but it costs so much in healthcare .... did I mention my grandfather and George Best? Is this really the best argument you have? It's making jobs for doctors, nurses and fast food werkers then.   
They can change and lose weight but you'll always be stupid. 

Food addiction and being obese seems to me to be the less inconsiderate of the the addictions. If you look at them and if that disgusts you or makes you rant then I reckon that is yer issue. "Someone is fat OMG where is their self respect?"  ..... probably taken by cunts like you.

As with smoking and alcohol there are deeper issues with being fat. Depression and low self esteem are the usual ones for addiction. That instant fix, that need to do something with your hands, the need to pass 5 minutes of empty time so you'll be distracted from the memory of that gym teacher who humiliated you in front of the rest of the class 40 years ago.

You don't need to smoke or drink alcohol but you do need to eat. Guess what, even fat people get hungry.
You can't compare smoking and drinking to food addiction but if you do lump it together then yer just projecting yer issues and deflecting away from you .... like I said defensive, when people get defensive they know in the back of their heads that there is a problem. Being stubborn and not like being told what to do also have to do with yer issues.

Cry victim! cry persecution! cry it's unconstitutional! people usually get on like this when they are being dicks to someone else.

  Gandhi on a meme ... must be true.

After a lifetime that has involved drinking, smoking and eating I can say that eating and drinking are the worse of them, though obesity is a problem especially in kids so is the smoking and drinking that their parents do. 

Yer addictions, too much time on Facebook, constant wanking, gambling, cock fighting, blowing smoke at babies, sniffing the crack, eating cupcakes or drinking too many wine coolers have their place but when you overdo them or expose others to them or neglect others then they become a problem. Self control means control over yer self duh, it's difficult but when you stop and ask yerself why you are doing this, the answer sometimes helps.  

Be glib about it, yer only fooling yerself. 

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