Thursday, 28 May 2015

Run Iraqi Run

The mystery of missing Iraqi army Captain Swali Al-Gump has been solved, the soldier went missing from the city of Mosul in 2014 only to be found earlier this month in Michigan.

It seems that Captain Al-Gump has been running from Daesh/ISIS all this time. It is not known how or when he eats or sleeps and has been giving border patrol a real run for their money.

June 2014, Daesh were advancing towards the city of Mosul, Captain Al-Gump was in charge of 1,500 well trained and well equipped men complete with artillery guns set to defend the city.

Daesh had a pick up truck with 5 guys but intel reports said they were quite big guys. As tensions rose Al-Gump got reports that Daesh were rapidly closing in 30 miles away and just then a desert mouse farted sending the Iraqi army into a panicked rout.    

The first thing you learn in the Iraqi military is that you just have to be faster than yer slowest comrades if you want a good chance of escaping.

General Rickenbach of the 93rd Airborne who trained Iraqi forces 2012 - 2015 said, "The Iraqi fighting man has had intensive training from US special ops, they have the strength and the stamina to outpace the best the world has to offer, the French, the Italians, hell even the Kenyans. If given more resources we could of had them actually able to face the enemy in say 10 - 15 more years, in 20 they may even have fired their rifles at their foe."

Scientists have been searching for a way to disable the fleeing in panic gene but have been unable to catch anyone to experiment on.   

If you see Al-Gump try not to make any sudden movements as he is easily startled. 

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