Friday, 1 May 2015

God Loves Gay Marriage

Political parties that make decisions for you based on Bible scripture .... so much fail it's hard to comprehend.
If the DUP and other so-called "Christian" orientated political parties decide on same sex marriage based on their interpretation of a badly written thousands of years old book then what is stopping them from deciding other things that they just haven't told you about? 

The US is deciding on whether or not to make marriage equality the law in every state.

The DUP considers homosexuality an abomination and will say how they have nothing against gheys it's just that the Bible .... oh so that's yer excuse to be a bigot, the Bible made me do it. They have nothing against blacks either, they think every home should have one, they save on the woman doing all the hoose werk. 

The DUP leader Peter Robinson should read that bit about let he who is without sin cast the first stone or would he interrupt that as being ok to stone people? ... The DUP are good Protestant white men surely any of their sins don't count. 
Like Hilary standing by Bill after he was sucked off by the chubby intern, Peter stood by Iris when she had an affair with a younger man. When I say stood by he made sure everyone knew she was getting treated for mental illness because hey, she must be fucking nuts to cheat on him right?

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."  ~Proverbs 12:4

Nowhere in the Bible does it state that marriage is between a man and a woman. Back then there were no marriage certificates and the government did not get involved in such matters, it was between you and God. The whole man and woman, laws of the government etc is a modern invention. Unions were made to strengthen families and clans or to get a few extra goats.

"Rehoboam loved Maacah the daughter of Absalom above all his wives and concubines" ~ Chronicles 11:21

Fuck yeah DUP, of course the weemen weren't allowed boy toys cos that is just immoral. He had eighteen wives and sixty concubines, and fathered twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters.   

Of course lets not forget the divorcees ... cunts! The divorce rate in the UK is at 42% with 71% of divorces on the first marriage. One in seven were doon to adultery so you can't go blaming the gheys on destroying the sanctity of marriage.   

" For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife." ~ Malachi 2:16

So the DUP and other Gog bothering political parties like the US Republicans would make divorce illegal .... even though the DUP's Protestantism was created out of spite when the Pope refused to let Henry number 8 divorce, oh the irony. 

They are always banging on to make homosexuality illegal too like it was in 1982 in Northern Ireland. I believe the 70's and 80's were the DUP's perfect time with big Ian Paisley yammering away, well off Protestant land owners having more than one vote and the police and the soldiers being on their side against the papes, like how the Tories, Ukip and the GOP dream about 1950's values and a time when weemen and ethnic people knew their place. 

After twisting the Bible to conform into making homosexuality an abomination you'd better add  eating pork, rabbit, or any seafood that does not have scales (lobster, crab, clams) as abominations too.

So DUP Bible laws would be:

1)No gheys, maybe prison or werk camps for them.
2)No divorcing yer abusive spouse.
3)Yer allowed to stone sinful weemen. 
4)No bacon and no prawn cocktail crisp sandwiches. 
5)Segregated schools Catholic/Protestant like how most schools still are, didn't Paul say something about no taigs welcome? 
6)Band parades through all the Fenian housing areas cos Jesus loved a good march. 
7)Multiple wives and gurlfriends for the blokes.
I can't speak for you but I was sorta on board until number 4. The stoning of weemen would of course lead back to the hanging and burning of witches (old, poor and disabled people) like in the good ol 1700's and maybe we'd behead the queers for the lolz .... Aye, the DUP are ready to become ISIS/Daesh at a drop of a hat. 

Some verses have been taken out of context in the Bible to mean a man and a woman for marriage even though Jesus mostly only talked about heterosexual divorce. It was a different time with different values that don't apply today. In Sodom Lot offered up his 2 virgin daughters for the crowd to do what they pleased with rather than give up the two male guests in his home .... And Lot was one of the good uns. 

Boy on boy sodomy was cool with Bible folk just as it was in the Roman and ancient Greek world. Moses even mentioned the male and female temple prostitutes, for the record he was against prostitution in the hoose of God .... keep it to the streets and the docks says I. 

Paul didn't have a problem with turd burgling, he did have an issue with pederasty, that is the practice of an older male taking a young boy as his student or lover. A thing we find disgusting today that was the norm at one time just as slavery and weemen not voting was our norm. How can you decide what is what when you don't understand the historical context?

Quoting scripture to make a point is like arguing with idiots but you do what you have to if their moral compass is so fucked up that they think treating queers as anything less than equal to them is right.
In the words of the famous fictional character Jesus H Christ: 

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  ~ John 13:34

I can't fault that line of reasoning unless during cases of self defense as turning the other cheek would only happen if there were free drink and plenty of lube. 

He didn't say be dicks to everyone by claiming to know the word of God. The moral high ground is not yers, yer prideful ways tastes like cack. Old Knudsen just got a head text from God and guess what? yer wrong DUP, God loves the bumhole penetration, if he doesn't may he strike me dead on the spot ...... still waiting. 


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