Saturday, 9 May 2015

58 Reasons Why We Love Mombod

When weemen get married or just have low self esteem they get fat, that's great! It means that their standards are lower and we men don't have to compete or face sexual rejection. 

It makes us feel better about ourselves .... We can eat 12 donuts and not get bitched at because she is eating a gallon of ice cream.

She won't complain about yer saggy man boobs because her boobs are around her waist too.

It's way more fun to cuddle with her , who the fuck wants a firm slim chick that has daylight between her thighs and perky gravity defying breasts?

She'll never body shame you because she'll be dealing with her own shame, especially when you look at the daylight between a young woman's thighs and say "dang" before you snap a sneaky pic.

She knows how to have fun. She's busy letting her self go, eating and drinking and having fun ... the same shit you've been doing for years.

You both aren't superficial, you can change being chubby if you wanted to but why bother ... what's the point?   

It's always a surprise when she gets naked. Don't blurt out WHAT THE FUCK! Just smile and go to yer wank bank in yer head.

You have something to hold onto, a lot of something. Mombods give you more to love. Also more to roll over into the recovery position when she has a heart attack.

You know what she'll look like in 20 years. Unless she catches you with the nanny.

You can talk about things other than diet and fitness, aye like hot cheerleaders, football and what ever happened to that slim gurl I met 30 years ago? .... oh you ate her. 

She fills out a dress nicely, there are plus sizes for a reason and it's a nice change from her wearing the same stained sweat pants.  

You don't judge each other, unless it's out of bitter resentment that you wasted yer best years on raising the ungrateful children of a total bastard.

You can have pizza together, cos no one eats salad because it tastes good, am I right?

Angry yet? This post is a reaction to dadbod and those points in the bold black are from an article on how it's ok that men can have dadbod because letting yourself go is fun and no one is going to fat shame you .... who does that sort of thing?

Leonardo DiCaprio has been a prime target for dadbod ... even though he isn't a dad. These articles are presented as light hearted because it's a man's world and men don't have feelings anyways. Men are just pussies who get a cold and get on like they are dying.

Man fact #83: Most men go into work ill because wasting a paid sick day is stupid, what if you just can't be arsed some Monday and it's a sunny day?

Who doesn't love their faults being the fat butt of a million jokes? This post is to obviously point out the hypocrisy used in society by the media and helped along by an apathetic public who only feel good about themselves when degrading another.

Like when a black man said nigger several times on TV to a white female news presenter because she used the term that Obama and others had used to describe the thuggish behaviour of black rioters in Baltimore ... what was the term? Oh that's right it was 'thugs.' 

He said, 'why don't you just call them niggers, they are not thugs, they are our children.'

Not my children, they were dangerous criminals and a word for that is thug. A news article (online) called the white presenter a "Cracker" and proceeded to point out all the subtle racism she was using ... aye it was a load of biased cack full of white man's burden... you know, the guilt that white people are required to feel because some other white people had slaves 200 years ago. 

Do black people or Native Americans have guilt because some of their ancestors had slaves? .... no, because it's a white man's world. Even the black US president is half white for fucks sake. 

If you can't say nigger (because of some code of color) then you shouldn't be allowed to say cracker. Who gives a fuck what color they were, they were thugs using a dead bloke as an excuse to loot a CVS, to also burn cars and to beat people up.      

Like most actors, Leo is probably a mass of insecurities but not about his dadbod because he could lose that in 2 weeks if he was to make a film. Also he's filthy rich and gets the hot chicks to rub oil onto his food baby while lounging on a beach or on his yacht so the joke is on you. Leo was too busy fucking a hot model to comment.

Dadbod is as sexist as the media going on about someone's post pregnancy beach bod, good for you, you don't have a real life and can work out and get someone else to look after yer kids, weemen in the real world should learn from yer example.

Having kids or being fat isn't a big deal, many people do it, why must we always find joky names to use as insults? Fat people are one of the few acceptable issues to shame people with because they are obviously lazy gluttons .... never mind that there is probably some mental health issue behind them being that way, depression and low self worth are common ones.
Hey lets joke about Robin Williams or all the ghey teens that killed themselves. Why are you a sadbod? just look on the bright side and everything will be hunky fucking dory you drama queen.

Mombod or Dadbod just isn't funny, might as well laugh at people for being old or having to wear glasses, ha ha specky 4 eyes.


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