Sunday, 5 April 2015

The Pope's Easter Message

One goblet could fund an invasion of a small cuntry.

For some reason the Pope had to get in on the fun at Easter. Did he say anything of worth? Did he mention how Jesus rolled a chocolate egg doon a hill thus fulfilling all the requirements to become the messiah? 
How the fuck should I know he's Mexican or something and speaks Latin.... like they do in Latin America. 

The Pope called for peace in Iraq, Syria, the Holy Land, Ukraine, Libya, Yemen, Nigeria, Sudan and the Democratic Republic of Congo ....  Afghanistan can fuck off! His werds not mine. 

He said to paraphrase, 'Fuck lad, they're killing Christians in Kenya but no one cares, why hasn't America gone in and shot someone?' He said the "International community" but we all know the only cuntry with the balls big enough to go in is America .... well Iran and Russia too but I meant cuntries on our side, God's side. 
Camera you say????

Yeah yeah yeah I want world peace too and a pony. In life you must live realistically, can he stop Al Shabaab from killing Christians? he couldn't even stop Al Sharpton from photobombing Obama if there was a camera nearby. 
Live realistically and don't worry about things you don't have control over as what will worrying achieve?

For instance, if you have a shit load of gold goblets and only one mouth, don't let me hear you whining about the poor. You have control over helping them and I don't mean a token sneak out at night to help a Vatican charity. Help the poor and starving the way the Vatican didn't help the Irish during the potato famine.

He then went on to remind people that following him on Twitter may reduce yer time in purgatory (the Vatican did say this) He went on to say people need to move on and stop talking about pedo priests, it's over, dry yer eyes. 
He also said abortion and wanking into socks is murder and the wealthy (not him though) should remember the poor and tip when they order a Big Mac meal.... aye no burger flipper ever complains about the lack of tipping unlike all those waiters and waitresses who make up rude comments on receipts in order to get donations. They'd be happy with a living wage never mind tips and what a dick move it is to announce a pay rise for McDonald's staff in the US then quietly say, well not everyone. 

The Pope went onto say that the dress is white and gold and he'd fight anyone who says it's black and blue, he also said he'd cut the bitch who goes and disses his homies.... but he smiled and so we love him for encouraging random violence. 

Yes his speech had less to say than this post does but I'd like to add that Old Knudsen has no gold goblets and no children were harmed or molested during the writing of this post.... Afterwards, well who knows?  


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