Thursday 9 April 2015

Failed By The System

Lolia Vãduva, 25 recieves £78,000 a year in benefits, has 8 children with 6 different fathers and is hoping for a 9th because she has thought up new babies names she'd like to use. 

Lolia whose family moved to the UK in 1993 from Romania is 462 LBS and says the government should pay her more money if they want her to work.

"People keep saying that I look like Jennifer Lawrence so if the government wants me to work then they need to jump start my modeling career." 


A recent convert to Islam her hobbies are getting her hair and nails done twice a week, day time TV viewing and breeding the rare Nigerian Ebola spider.

She says it's unfair to expect her to look after 8 children when she is trying for a 9th and wants an extra £4,000 for childcare and £24,000 for a boob job, collagen injections and a holiday for her and her new partner in Tenerife.
Under the mental welfare act of 2007 the Liberal council of Clacton will probably give her the extra money as Lolia is being treated for depression and anxiety and it would be a violation of her human rights to withhold anything that might make her happy.      

 I eat junk food and blow strange men in alleyways but on the inside I'm crying, I need more money. 

Lolia lives in a 6 bedroom council house but is on the waiting list for two 6 bedroom houses that will be joined together so she can have more room to have children and to bring some more family members over from her village in Romania, her parents live with her and help look after the children. They run a part time child and dog grooming service but have been hit hard by the recession. 

"I left school when I was 14 to have babies, I ain't educated enough to be a scientist because the system failed me, it's difficult to get healthy halal food and cos I'm eating non-halal junk food me mental health is suffering, I can't cook anyways, no one taught me. I can't even afford to go jihad. People may judge me but that's cos they are jealous as I have got it going on."       

We aren't judging you, we understand. Lolia cannot count change and has trouble telling the time on an analog clock, this disability gets treated with scorn by uneducated people who can't see past the eye rolling and pushy attitude. If the government can spend £3.6 million on burying Margaret Thatcher then it can afford Lolia's tits. 

To help jump start poor Lolia's modeling career go to Sponsorlolia.com to donate.   

2 comments:

Cathy said...

Well the gods forbid this kind of unkindness goes on, esp toward this deserving ... um, not sure what to call her, is it politically correct to say hippo? No then I'd have the Animal Rights for Hippos on my back. I'd bet there are thousands like poor little Lolia trying to make ends meet on such a pittance. 78,0 lbs a year, shameful. No empathy anymore - the least they can do is pay her what she weighs, per diem. Then it'll be fair. Yeah.

Old Knudsen said...

The only reason she hasn't fallen through the cracks in the system is that she won't fit.