Monday, 27 April 2015

Cattle Mutilation Busted

For over a hundred years there have been reports of cattle mutilation in which healthy cows are found dead and with expert medical precision some of their organs have been removed. The eyes, the anus, lips and skin has been stripped from it's skin.

Do you know how hard it is to pinpoint where the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is at all times? Everyone knows that lips and arses are in hotdogs so are they to blame? Yer Big Mac may have 100% beef but from which part of the cow?

When people don't understand something they try to control it by coming up with a theory or conspiracy. The buildings during 9/11 fell down because planes went into them and weakened the structure causing all that weight to fall in on itself, steel does melt otherwise they couldn't make buildings and people wouldn't be employed spraying fire resistant paint onto girders  .... or dumb as fuck Bush planned it all so Haliburton could get lucrative government contracts. No! Bush and friends reacted and made good of a bad situation, as if they were smart enough to plan 9/11.

A cow dies with no one around, must be aliens right? The eyes, lips arse all removed .... no Wienermobile so I'm still thinking aliens. The stomach has been split open and organs have been taken out. 
Satanists also get the blame for shit too, mostly by Christians who have watched too many bad horror movies. 

  Worse than aliens or Satanists, gingers have been known to kill people to make skin suits out of them ...  just for fun.

Why would a technologically advanced race travel billions of light years to carry out vivisection on cattle? Did they advance so fast that television wasn't invented and this is what they do? 

  Add some facial hair to get that natural face vadge look.

Maybe the aliens are so vain that they think that this post is about them and need the Botox injections for those big foreheads.

Aliens hiding from us, cutting open our cows, abducting our hicks for anal rape and probably infiltrating the governments of the world with hybrids so they can ???? I don't know, maybe go to war with others .... cos we were peaceful as fuck before the aliens.

If I were an alien I'd not get involved with humans, too dangerous and unpredictable. What have humans to offer an advanced race of aliens?

Human: Here have some atomic power ....

Alien:  wha? you trying to kill us? we use pritoclonic fuel cells that last forever and don't have harmful contaminated waste, we're just here for yer cow arses. Does my bum look big? We haven't used them to poop with for centuries but I'm thinking of getting some work done. 

Farm animals die, when left to their own devices they eat stuff that could kill them over night. When left for a while the flies that always follow cows will be the first to lay their eggs which hatch into hungry maggots.
The soft tissue always gets eaten first by scavengers, eyes, lips and arse are all soft tissue. The dead animal will bloat and even crack open spilling its guts which will also be eaten. Larger scavengers will eat whatever they can easily get at as very often you only get one chance to nom on a body before the even bigger animals come round.

No tire tracks or human involvement needed. What about the skilled precision of the cuts?  Think about who is seeing this animal, yer usual hay seed from Yokelberg doesn't have medical training so lines or splits may look like a straight cut. Skin shrinks which may make it look like something it isn't.

Even during the Jack the Ripper cases someone exaggerated the medical skill needed to cut up a hoor, they said it had to be someone with medical training .... or a butcher.

Would you compare an NHS surgeon to a butcher? .... ok that was a silly question. Someone who has trained and studied for years to do delicate cuts cannot be compared to someone working at Moy park chicken wearing a chain mail glove on the production line.  

This kind of shit is why Old Knudsen knows that ghosts are real, he eliminates all other possibilities before he even suggests it was real.

It's funny how little UFO's we see now with the invention of the camera phone. We still get some but they turn out to be amazing fakes worthy of Dreamworks or turn out to be a plane or a Chinsese lantern.

If Aliens come to earth they'll avoid us or use us for food or slaves ... maybe they are here and have been doing this successfully for years, that explains the missing people. Ach there I go again trying to make sense of things I can't explain. We all know that 80% of missing people have fallen through a random wormhole event that just manifested itself in front of them, we just need to get them on video.

Look at me mom, I'm so cool, can we put shampoo into its eyes next?   

If in doubt blame humans .... or blame their parents. Humans mutilate more animals than aliens ever have but there is less written about that than the lil green men. Humans are capable of any horror carried out on each other and on animals that you could imagine and are more than willing to do it. 

 School trips rock!

Fistulated cows have a part of their skin removed so you can reach in and take a sample. The experimenters are looking to see how certain foods are digested, sure you could do this in a lab but sticking yer hand into a cow is a lot more fun.

So in Old Knudsen's humble opinion cattle mutilation is a load of ol bollocks. It usually happens in large places that a death cow or two might not even be noticed for a day. There have been cases of it in the UK with sheep and yet again in wilder places (Wales) close to military training grounds .... never to dairy cows that get tended everyday though.
The health of any sheep in Wales is in the balance on a normal day. Sheep get seen to on a daily basis in Ballymena so you'll no hear of aliens there .... unless it's cocaine induced aliens. 

Years ago when Old Knudsen did some caving, spelunking or potholing you'd always find sheep bones or carcases at the entrance of the caves cos the idiot sheep had fallen into them.

So aliens probably don't mutilate cattle for their Botox shots so blame nature and wildlife or humans, I bet it's those immigrants.  


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