Thursday, 31 December 2015

2015 The International Year Of Taking Offense

What a year 2015 has been .... what a shite year. Not just Old Knudsen but many others have had a shite year too.
If you were looking to invest in Syrian real estate or if you worked in the Syrian tourist agency just give up and go live somewhere nice like Libya, Tunisia or Ukraine.

On a personal note Ma Knudsen, the she-devil that raised such a fine man (my brother Lars) died at the very end of December 2014 and put a dampener on the start of 2015 ... way ta go Ma, such a dick move.

Another dick move was friend and former wife Tachae Matkovcik also dying. Old Knudsen had been going through his own self wallowing shit and missed Facebook for a day and of course that was when she died. Always the drama with that one.

Leonard Nimoy also went to the cosmic soup. I met him at a book signing in Belfast once, I'll never forget his words to me, "thank you" said in that booming classically trained voice of his, aye, we were tight.  

So yeah, a sucky start to the year. Killing hookers, committing hate crimes and showing my willy in public just didn't have the same appeal as it usually did. While spraying "Go home niger" .... (correct spelling is for the weak) on a hoose wall I said to myself, "there must be more to life" I didn't even break any windies, I just left a pig's head off at the Islam center and went home early.

Picking up weemen for fantastic sex followed by a nice cup of tea just seemed to merge into one. I even stopped asking what their names were ....  like I want their life story.

Boko Harem killed 2,000 people in the first month of 2015, Houthi forces backed by Iran over threw the US backed Yemeni government. The Yemeni president fled to Saudi Arabia and began a bombing campaign the very next day .... isn't it ironic, yeah I really do think ... and people complain about Assad bombing his own people.
So much hype against ISIL, ISIS, IS, Daesh, ISholes and Assad. Just keep saying the names and saying how much we need to bomb them until everyone else starts to say it too.

Nice things did happen. While Northern Ireland had same sex marriage rejected (by the evil DUP) the Republic of Ireland which has been molested and abused by a powerful Catholic church for centuries voted to legalize it. The next thing to legalize is abortion. The courts in Northern Ireland have deemed the N.I. abortion laws to be against human rights so we'll wait and see if anything happens.

The US also voted in favour of ghey marriage and many Christians had a shit fit. When Jesus said 'love thy neighbour' he obviously didn't mean fags  ..... Christians are so lovely.

Supergirl getting super pounded.

Celebrities had their private photos leaked which is a gross breach of privacy and shame on anyone that posts them ... whatever. The photos leaked and millions of nerds leaked into hankies right after that. If the actresses had leaked sex tapes like everyone else then we wouldn't have wanted to see them naked so it is totally their fault .

Slut shaming and victim blaming became a big thing .... but they were probably asking for it.

Even those who had been raped couldn't say that by hanging out with the wrong people and becoming impaired due to drinking too much went towards them being raped without being condemned by people that obviously know better.
The US police couldn't even shoot unarmed black people without getting abuse and getting the local Walmart looted and burned down in protest.

2015 was the year of taking offense at everything .  

Ghey cakes and flowers for ghey marriages spoiled happy occasions.  A Muslim boy couldn't even take a clock to school without being labeled a terrorist and don't get me started on the Starbuck's war on Christmas .... those evil fuckers

A typical plane journey. 

A German plane crashed into the Alps killing 150, turned out that its co-pilot was a little unhinged. A plane full of Russians was blown up over Sinai killing 217. The things are heavier than air, they shouldn't be up there it's too dangerous!

We are all in this together, which is why I personally fight against Daesh instead of sending others. 

A Tunis museum attack in March that left 22 dead got mostly ignored but when another attack on a Tunis beach killing 38 (30 being British) the media took notice and David Cameron used it as an excuse to bomb the Daeshbags in Syria.  

Al-Shabaab kills 147 people in Kenya ... the world mostly doesn't notice. It didn't notice the 100 killed at a peace rally in Turkey either.

However, when 130 people are killed by ISholes in Paris the world loses its shit.... The French government uses this as an excuse to bomb Syria.

Um ..... anyone else seeing a pattern here?

Old Knudsen was transferred from Iraq and began training moderate Islamic fanatics in Syria (on the sly) it turns out that the moderate fanatics he was training were secretly severe fanatics who went on to join the ISholes .... Doh!
I'm gonna say it, those fellas all look the fucken same to me, sure I can tell sheep from each other but this lot are fucken sandsavage clones.

I did manage to set up the Free Syrian Army which are the rebels fighting Assad, the best 5 lads you'd ever hope to meet, good at fleeing too. They are based in Turkey in order to keep them safe.

Now Obama and the CIA are werking with Assad but don't tell the public. 

Bruce Jenner the Conservative ex sports star said he identified as being a woman. Still not too big into the whole ghey marriage thing. The Hollywood Liberals embraced her enough to give her an award for courage. The husband of a 9/11 responder who had previously accepted the award in honour of his dead wife called bullshit and gave it back .... courage is not dressing up as a woman in Malibu.

Yes Bruce did become Caitlyn to upstage Kim and Kanye, I thought I had a fucked up family. If he wants to call himself a she then whatever, but until you grow an extra chromosome then what you really are is a dude. He still has his dick for fucks sake, he hasn't had the op.

Caitlyn is busy playing dress up and hogging the limelight if possible and I would not be surprised if she starts to use a fake tan and gets corn rows just like Rachel Dolezal who is as black as Old Knudsen's taint, wipe yer face lass with a bit of soap, the dirt comes off.

The Brits got very excited to put a Briton into space .... wow, big deal, the Canadians had a fucken singing astronaut, our bloke drinks tea.
There was lots of talk about Mars missions and someday we hope that a Brit will be the first person to die there. 

2015 went from starting as a shitty year and continued as one, The Americans kept shooting each other and bombing everyone else. The Anti-Christ Obama admitted he was an Islamic terrorist from Kenya and pardoned himself. 
At the end of his second term the US is better than it was under Bush .... it's still a shit hole and there are 5 times as many bombs being dropped in other countries but it's still better than it was. Even though the elections aren't until November 2016 we've had nothing but US presidential nopefuls filling up the Internet. Hilary has already picked out her curtains and wallpaper for the White House so I don't know why they bother.  
Trump with his soulmate Katie Hopkins

Donald Trump has been accused of being such an asshole that he is actually working to elect Hilary, newsflash, she doesn't need the help. 
He has insulted the beaners and the ragheads and has told so many lies to fuel racism that even Arab billionaires are going out of their way to have a Twitter feud with him. Hundreds and thousands of British have signed a petition to keep him out of the UK and he still ticks away at being offensive. 
The ultimate ugly American abroad he employs immigrants while complaining they are taking American jobs only the likes of the poorly educated and those filled with hate even like the guy .... Putin sees a use for him should he become president, that right there says a lot. 

Star Wars came out with a new movie, if it's as shite as the other 6 then ... it'll be shite. JJ Abrams directed it and since he rebooted Star Trek to great effect it will probably be decent. SPOLIER ALERT, C3PO finally comes out of the closet and Leia sucks her brother off in an attempt to generate more memes.  

This year people died, people were born and shit happened. Old Knudsen remained constant in his disdain for all of you. 2016 will be another year with bad and good, don't let the fucker bring you doon.

Je suis a cunt! 

Saturday, 26 December 2015

The Racism Of Star Wars

Obi Wha and his slave army of brown people but in white suits.

Some racists don't like the fact that a main character in the new Star Wars movie is black. The question I ask is 'Is that the film with Chris Pine as Kirk? ' .... then who gives a shit?

While Star Trek is way better than Star Wars for those with more than half a brain who aren't impressed by glowing space swords and idiot comedy side kick aliens and robots I shall permit this shite to be on my blog.
The clone army was made up of clones from Jango Fett to serve as unquestioning slaves for the evil Jedi's but then the Empire freed them and eventually the clones were replaced by birth born enlisted stormtroopers so yay Empire! Emperor Palpatine is like a space Abe Lincoln.  

 Spoiler alert ... it's his Da! Though looking at Leia I'd say that was the space milkman.      

Get yer hed around this load of subtle racism. A big black cock headed like figure that is bigger than all the white cock headed fellas. 

Once you go dark you never go back .... use some force.  

Vader can also dance unlike the Stormtroopers and he can shoot hoops ... Stormtroopers can't shoot anything. 

This big black fella has a white guy inside but speaks like a black dude, he's like the space Rachel Dolezal, "I identify with being black and will crush your throats if you say I'm not." The black guy who is really white is the bad guy too. Sure armed black fellas scare us white folks but what about a 7 foot tall black guy with a laser sword? ... here, take our white weemen just don't hurt us.

We didn't pull you over because you were gold, we don't see droids of colour just droids.  

So you have the black guy with a booming black voice and you have the little white guys with the nasally white guy voice. I bet Stormtroopers get all offended by the droid bigotry they see around the bars.
I'm not a racist kid .... I have a black friend. 

Why do I have a sudden craving for kale, apple juice and country music? 

Yet again they put a powerful young person of colour into their slave army but then he wins his freedom after serving for 12 years .... or something like that, I don't know. 
Now after 38 years they've made a token black person a main character and have an ass kicking female too. Sure they took the stigma out of incest a little which was good.  Star Wars is the Hilary Clinton of movie genres, it can change its old fashioned bigoted ways to suit the modern audience if there is money to be made. 
I suppose it is about time that Star Wars finally caught up with Star Trek, its kick ass token black person is a woman and has been since 1966. 


Friday, 25 December 2015

It's All About Lil Baby Jesus

For the first time since 1977 there will be a full moon on Christmas day .... well Christmas day night cos we all know the moon isn't there during the day, we aren't stoopid you know.

Ah shit! lil baby Jesus is a werewolf, quick kill it with the gold, frankincense and myrrh .... shit why aren't they working? Some wise men, couldn't you have brought some silver?

This means that on Christmas eve there will be plenty of light to shoot that fat fucker down with my rocket launcher see Santa as he flies through the sky with no regard to international air zone restrictions. Luckily Turkey have been bad fuckers all year with the whole standing about while ISIS take over Kobane and the bombing the Kurds thing so no flying over there, unless yer after some cheap oil cos they have loads.

I do hope the Africans will get snow this year.

Then they all handled me pump action.

If you are celebrating Christmas with the family then have a good un, if yer an Atheist, Buddhist, Jew, Muslim, Wizard or just lonely and unloved then fuck ye, ya scabby twat waffle, look through my old posts and try to find one that makes sense, that should take yer mind off being a cunt for a few hours. 

Old Knudsen fully intends on stuffing a fat bird and covering everything in gravy .... then later he may also have some Christmas dinner depending on whose home he stumbles into, so lock yer doors. I have already cased out a young family in need of a drunken old racist uncle to tell them about the good ol days. 

I meant 'phat' bird. 

Remember those less fortunate than you when you get stuck into yer turkey with all the trimmings, I only say that because knowing that they haven't got a nice turkey dinner makes you enjoy yers even more and obviously demonstrates that Gog loves you more. Being chosen rocks!

Have a nice one and don't look at the news today it probably has some really nasty shit going on as the ISholes and people like Donald Trump just want to spoil yer life .... don't feed those trolls, drunken stupor for the win.


Thursday, 24 December 2015

Why I Kill Santa

Some years ago I was living this lass named Jan, she was a single mother with 3 children from different dads but insisted that things would change and that her next child would be conceived within matrimony. Old Knudsen respected her need to take a hold of her life so we did everything but actual sex.

I noticed that Jan was letting herself go a bit, turns out she was pregnant. Old Knudsen was over joyed, did some Knudsen jizz find it's way in?

Then my werld came crashing doon. She told me how Santa came round in June while I was at werk to install hidden cameras about the hoose in order to watch the children and during that time he used his magical Santa charm to come early.

 Yes, her legs where that hairy. 

I know what yer thinking, Santa is made up .... change the letters in Santa and you have Satan, his biggest trick was making an elephant disappear in Vegas once, his second biggest trick is convincing you that he doesn't exist.

The same shit went down with Mary and Joseph, these magical beings think they can do as they please. I hunted down all the hidden cameras, even the one hidden in the potpourri in the bathroom, then I started my plans.


Every Christmas eve I'd wait for the fucker and then kill him. Some times I'd see him at malls or collecting money for charity, I'd get him then too but you kill one and another is born. This explains my hatred for Santa and I'll keep killing the fucker till he admits to what he did.

He shape shifts and he lies but I know his ways. If you have an elf on the shelf I urge you to remove his eyes and to put bear traps on yer roof.
I once laced his milk and cookies with laxative then like a Komodo dragon I followed the trail and finished off the weaken dehydrated single mother fucker.

Jan was soon afterwards known as 4X4 but soon had enough kids for a football team, Old Knudsen dodged the bullet there. Maybe killing Santa has become a habit, it doesn't make me feel better .... aye it gives me an erection but it's more about just having something to do.     

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

A Wise Man Would Have Asked For Directions Rather Than Follow Some Random Star

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. ~ William Shakespeare 

In Christian mythology the 3 kings or 3 wise men were thought to have come from the east (probably Iran) and were most likely Zoroastrians.  Zoroastrianism is one of the oldest religions and was very powerful when the Bible was written, in fact it influenced Judaism, Christianity and Islam with themes such as messiahs, Heaven, Hell, free will and treating others as you'd want to be treated.

Zoroastrian populations survive in India and even in Australia and North America. A form of Zoroastrianism known as Yazdânism is practiced by the Kurds. Zoroastrianism was practiced 600 BCE to 650 CE, named after the prophet Zoroaster and was only suppressed by the rise of Islam when the Muslims conquered Persia.

Good Thoughts, Good Words and Good Deeds are the basic tenets of Zoroastrianism.

As a part of their religion Zoroastrian priests studied astrology which is probably why a star is mentioned in the nativity myth.... there was no comet or bright star in the sky at that time. 
The 3 priests of the world's most powerful religion traveling hundreds of miles west to worship the king of the Jews was no doubt a method to give validation to this new religion thus making it more likely for Zoroastrians to convert to Christianity.

Some believe Jesus to have been born in the sign of Scorpio but since Scorpios are utter cunts that has been dismissed.
He just missed being a Sagittarius which would explain his procrastination at not returning to Earth.

Jesus was a Capricorn .... a goat. A Capricorn's wish is to be admired by their family and friends and the world at large.

They are resilient, patient and ambitious and are goal achievers, whilst being reliable and sympathetic too.

The horoscope from the Bethlehem Herold on that day said. 'do not take rejection personally, things will work out in the end, expect a visit from far away and be ready to make new friends. Your lucky numbers are 3, 5 and 13 your unlucky symbol is a cross.'

Well that was some serious distance for 3 blokes to travel back then. According to Matthew the wise men (didn't say how many) arrived at the Christ house (they must have settled there) long after Jesus had been born as Matt says that Jesus was a young child.
Herod was not happy that the wise men had not touted on where Jesus was and sent out an order that male children (fucken sexist Bible) aged 2 and under be put to death.

A pretty wide age range there so he didn't expect Jesus to be any older than 2 years old when the wise men had visited him. But still, gold, frankincense, and myrrh .... hardly age appropriate gifts, even a not so wise man would have thought of bringing a tickle me Moses.

 Frankincense was a perfume used in Jewish worship, Gold is always nice to have and Myrrh was a perfume that was put on dead bodies to make them smell nice ... um yeah, moving on.

Did I just spoil yer Christmas myth of a manger and 3 dirty Persians with gifts? It's all in the Bible yet this is the story we get from it, because giving gifts makes money, blame the Americans of the 1800's for yer end of year debt, in Europe we used to go round the doors demanding hand outs from the gentry.      

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

What Did Jesus Look Like?

Sorry bro, you just don't have the looks to the the messiah. 

Everyone knows that the story of Jesus is not historical fact ... it's just FACT, fuck yer lack of all evidence, we believe that some sandsavage could walk on water, resurrect the dead, fly faster than a jet, work a catering truck and home brew wine for events and parties. Defeating the Joker and the evil General Zod,  Jesus went on to become a household name often called upon when you stub yer toe or drop something.

A Retired medical artist got fed up with day time TV and so using forensic techniques and passages from the Bible he crated the real face of Jesus.

Dr Neave and his team X-rayed three Semite skulls from the era and made him look like what a Middle Eastern Jew from the Galilee area of northern Israel .

Yes, he would have looked like a mildly retarded and quite shifty neanderthal. In today's terms he looks like that fella that doesn't speak English and pretends to be dumb so he can stand close to ladies on the tube and feel their boobs. The whole 'healing the sick' lark was probably just a ploy to cop a feel.

I know that when I feel ill I always call a carpenter, no one knows human physiology better than a chippy. When I need therapy I go see an electrician.   

Jesus was actually one of the better looking disciples, the people didn't really take to Mary's actual son whose name was Jude with his surname being Uss.

When the Romans came to arrest the messiah they grabbed the one that looked the part and nailed him up. Jude Uss felt guilty about it but not enough to speak up .... he's shifty, not dumb.

In the end the son of God felt so guilty that he hanged himself which meant he couldn't get into Heaven as God doesn't believe in depression and thinks you just need to suck it up.

400 odd years later Emperor Constantine saw the times changing and so had a competition for writers to retell the story of Jude Uss but with more umft! Constantine was the JJ Abrams of his day. 

One of the rejected versions was a little like Avengers assemble with the super disciple team taking on a Roman cyborg army but Constantine didn't like the Romans looking like the bad guys so they made it into Jews who had been taken over by aliens. Hitler would later use this rejected scripture to turn the German people against the Jews in the 1930's.

The writers that won have been criticized for stereotyping women as either sluts or mothers but this was at a time when weemen knew their place. The writers didn't want to include the messiah's wanking in public fetish, in fact there is little that actually describes what kind of person the son of God was. A man of love and peace .... until his return as then "he shall execute the severest judgement on the opposers of his truth."
Soo, something to look forward to. It's been 2000 years, I reckon he's fucked off to Jupiter or something. 

So the Romans, rebooted the messiah but made him Jesus instead of Jude, also white and attractive and so it becomes the much loved super true factual story that we know today.

Archeologists have backed up the story of Jesus by once finding a piece of stone with the name Jesus on it, they misspelled it Yeshua but close enough. They also found a couple of large urns that might have held wine that was made from water .... what more proof do you need?   

To be honest, now that I know what he looked like I think I'll be directing my prayers to gun show Thor. 

I'm not racist .... but. 

Monday, 21 December 2015

The Cosmic Question

Will Grandma be up in Heaven with Grandpa and be all happy until we get up there and see them again? .... no ya little fucktard, there is no such thing. We're Liberals and you're starting to sound like Mike Huckabee for fucks sake .... grow up.

The more crimes and hate done in the name of religion the more Old Knudsen realises that humans are fucked in the head and have more of a problem with reality than Old Knudsen does. Should religion be treated as a mental health issue? maybe so.

Mental health assessment question: Do you believe an invisible being of great magical powers has chosen you because you are "special" and will grant you wishes and will beam you to eternal bliss after you die as long as you are obedient to its will? 

Yes day dreaming about a fantasy world after yer dead means you can piss away yer life because you get a do over at the end if yer good.
Yes, that is how the world works, you always get a second chance .... but you have to be dead first. DO IT, DO IT! ... GO MEET YER GOD, need some rope?

You'd think that people who believe in the after life would be in a hurry to meet their maker. In the US you see police officers (mostly Sheriffs so not real police) putting 'In God we trust' stickers onto their police cars (not really their cars) but if they actually did trust in God they wouldn't carry guns or wear bullet proof vests.

Religion is not good or bad, the people in those religions are either good or bad. You'll get people complaining about the war on Christianity and the war on Christmas but when someone actually suggests banning Muslims from the cuntry they cheer it on and forget how they in the world's largest religion are so persecuted because there are others that need to be persecuted and that is what humans are really good at.

You don't get to be the world's largest religion without a lot of blood on yer hands.

Jews, Midianites, Native Americans, Aborigines, Indians, Tungus,Yakut, Africans, Mbuti, Lese, Ituri,  Chakma, Marma, Tripura, Karen, Ainu, Irish, Scottish, South American tribes, Palestinians, Cathars, Catholics, witches, Pagans, Muslims .... so many others.    

Old Knudsen has stated before that he believes in the great cosmic soup. When you die your soul joins the universe until yer next life.
Aye that sounds like a pile of ol shite just like Heaven so maybe Old Knudsen is mentally ill ... no doubt about it baby but I embrace it.

I've seen things and still do to this day that are not what we'd call "normal" if Shakespeare says, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy" then you might accept and understand it better because it's coming from yon over rated writer dude.

Well there are. What you see everyday is the surface of a very deep pond. Old Knudsen can't explain ghostly figures in plain daylight but they are there. Aren't they supposed to be in creepy dark old houses?

Old Knudsen has felt his soul and believes there to be the imprint of the various lives it has led including animals which validates his view on reincarnation. Of course it's all anecdotal and I don't expect or care if others do not believe it. 

"The unexamined life is not worth living" -  Socrates. 

My life and my~self have been thoroughly examined and I don't mean from the NHS. It's ok to overthink things if you are using other ideas and research to investigate your thinking. Why am I this way, why are you this way, why are people this way? Figuring out people and noticing things has been a hobby of mine for years.   

The thought I had. Why are there 7.3 billion people in the world? If it is all recycling lives then where the fuck did all the people come from? 

There are no more dinosaurs, Neanderthals, dodos, black rhinos, Javan tigers, Spix's Macaws, Alcon Blue butterflies, Atlas bears, Carolina parakeets, dusky seaside sparrows, great auks, heath hens, passenger pigeons, warrahs, woolly mammoths, Tasmanian tigers, Gastric brooding frogs, Saber-toothed cats, many bugs, fish, the trees and creatures we didn't even know about including those that are due to go extinct this year and of course nature and all the animals we humans like to hunt for food or trophies.

That's why I don't like trophy hunting, there isn't enough wildlife life to go killing it for fun.

All the souls are coming back as human because all the other options are gone. We fucked up nature's way by destroying nature and will pay though the lack of balance and no imaginary friend can help us. Would he not have done so by now?        

Kill off half the world's population and maybe we'll witness the cosmic sewer backing up. Is that why the world is in such a state? It wouldn't surprise me if that was the reason. 



Sunday, 20 December 2015

The Last Supper: The True Hollywood Story

Remember the last supper? Jesus and his posse rented out a room and reserved the longest table at ye olde Olive garden.

Aye they all sat on chairs at tables back then .... not! 

It was a joyful time with lots of finger pointing from Thomas (it was his thing) an all male gathering like a stag do because at the time inviting weemen to eat with you was just so ghey. Sure John looked a bit feminine but that's another story for another day.

Here Jesus have some bread to soak up all that wine blood you've been drinking, yer talking complete and utter shite at the moment.  

Hey waiter, can we get another order of breadsticks and more marinara sass?

I'm so wasted right now that I wash all the feet ... I like feet, here, let me get in between those toes with my tongue. 

Don't worry, if yer receiving the foot wash that doesn't make you ghey.

It was about the time of the foot washing when the manager came in and asked them to leave. Jesus then say'th onto him, "the bread is my flesh, the wine is my blood and this breadstick is yer fucken tip, sit on it."  

Latter that night the Romans caught up with Jesus and nailed him to a cross for not paying his bill at Olive garden. Judas was ashamed for he had plenty of dosh in which to pay for the meal.

The Romans were a wonderful people with zero tolerance for crime.

Friday, 18 December 2015

Is Die Hard Really A Christmas Movie?

Plot synopses: Defective Tom McClaim flies to LA from New York because a really hot chick in LA said she'd do him if he did. Little did he know that she had been infected with the zombie virus which she passed on to him.
He dies with a raging boner... He dies hard!  Now zombie McClaim has to fight his way out of her apartment block which has been taken over by her healthy neighbours who just happen to be Euro trash mercenaries.

His cock is kicked, punched and flicked but it still won't go down, he doesn't want to eat brains, he wants to fuck out yer brains.

Watch Hank Hammer play Tom McClaim as he fucks his way through some angry German mercenaries and half of LA to get back to his faithful wife in New York.  Watch the trills and spills ... mostly spills though, as in the spilling of his seed.

A Christmas movie? It sure is, his jingle balls will make you crave some stuffing. Don't watch it in 3D, you'll put yer eye out. 
Die Hard 2 is also a Christmas movie. Tom McClaim is having his engorged penis x-rayed when terrorists take over Washington Dulles International Airport on Christmas eve, watch him fuck them up. Yippie-kai- uuugghhhh!!!


Put The Homeless Into Death Camps So They'll Be Warm This Winter

I've mentioned before about how people pretend to be nice for 2 weeks at the end of each year. They wish others a merry Christmas and maybe even crack half a smile. Being a cunt all year then being decent just before the holiday season, I don't get it but then again Old Knudsen values being consistent, not predictable but not a flip flopping unreliable unwashed hippy type either. 

During Thanksgiving and even Christmas you have some folk racing to the homeless shelters to donate their time to serving food to poor folk ... aye the folk who don't eat all the rest of the year according to this logic.

Well the caring has been fast tracked thanks to the Syrian refugees. Sure we've been getting refugees since 2001 but for some reason the media and the public have only really started to notice them and now 'Syrian' refugees are the gold standard of refugees. Imagine waiting for refugees expecting Syrians and getting a load of Iraqis .... you'd be gutted right?  .... African? we aren't even bombing that I know it's not a cuntry cuntry, get the fuck away and wait for Bono to save ya.

Syrian refugee numbers are published constantly in the press, Northern Ireland just got its first 51 refugees. Since the Troubles ended the glazing companies have lost a ton of business but as soon as the refugees get houses I'm sure business will boom again.

Is an anti-refugee rally Christian? ... Who Would Jesus Hate?  

It turns out that the bigoted cunts of the Protestant Coalition think that others are more deserving. Like many others who have not had an altruistic thought for years the refugee crisis has suddenly caused them to be Scrooge at the END of the movie.

Why aren't the homeless getting the help instead of the refugees? .... The Americans up that a little by asking about the homeless veterans.

It's nice that people are finally concerned about the vulnerable people of society and not just using them to score morality points.

Old Knudsen has been poor, not quite cardboard box poor but close so he has had his own struggles and knows about being poor. The US does have a Welfare program and you can get help if you are homeless, not as good as the UK's social safety net but there is help to be had.

I'm reminded of the 90's when most of Belfast's homeless were white. A guy who I've seen and took to be homeless engaged me in conversation once. It turned out that he was a "day drinker" who sits in the park with his hobo friends and drink all day. He had a flat and was looking forward to a bonus he was getting from the government for Christmas .... Don't judge a hobo by his/her cover.  

Many of our homeless can get help. A friend of mine who works for San Bernardino county (you may have heard of it recently) told me about the 400 homeless vets they managed to help get homes. That news has not been widely reported, such is the way with real charity. In the UK our homeless can get help too, it doesn't have to be either them or the refugees, it can be both.

Homeless people are often that way for a reason, due to poor mental health, and or substance abuse. If you don't give up the drink then you won't get the help, many chose the drink.   

Quit trying to score points against the refugees, you have never cared about the homeless before so don't go starting now. The homeless need help as do the refugees, if you have to chose then blame the government for they are the ones that probably went to causing both problems, quit being the uncaring government's butt monkey helper.

We let the government off with sooo much but the other issues don't cause outrage because they are not  tangible issues that you can see and disapprove about. It outrages me that charities have to get set up to help with mental health issues or to raise money to buy hospital equipment ... because the government won't. Or they so generously say they'll put up half of the money for a much needed modern MRI machine for a state run hospital.

Then there are the SOS buses that help you if you drink yerself to the point of not being able to stand. They say they help alleviate the A&E (ER) from getting drunken assholes with minor injuries that waste resources. Imagine a cuntry that thinks it needs these buses. Make public intoxication a crime as it is in the US, they don't have any blootered buses.
Quit being pussies and hold yer drink you pitiful alcoholic. Old Knudsen always got home no matter how much he had.
This means that the government doesn't have to put so much money into hospital emergency wards .... fuck you very much you charities with well paid executives.    

A lack of healthcare, a lack of good schools and education, a lack of jobs .... with these issues it's difficult to find the exact thing or face to blame and free college education doesn't really excite the 60 year-old who never went and only hears about students playing beer pong.

Refugees are visible and on the news, we can blame them for needing help because we are likely to see them in real life at some point. It beats blaming the governments that bombed the fuck out of their towns. 

You know when David Cameron called anyone that voted against bombing Syria a terrorist sympathizer ? Well if you protest against refugees yer a terrorist collaborator because the Daeshbags want you to be anti-Muslim and being against refugees is you being anti-Muslim .... bigoted, racist and sectarian. You can justify yer bigotry by thinking that refugees are all terrorists but that is just a piss poor excuse that comes from the fear that goes hand in hand with bigotry.

People complain that if they say anything anti-refugee or anti-Muslim they'll be labeled a racist .... um, that's because yer being a fucken racist you cunt. "I'm not a racist but I think we should build a wall to keep out the brown Mexicans and ban all Muslims (who just happen to be brown) from entering the country, Hilary is weak, we have to be smart and tough, Obama is horrible." 

White Christains who go on shooting sprees? .... a government false flag to take away all our guns .... wha? 

Welcome in the refugees but don't forget about own own needy too. Since yer too old, fat and cowardly to go fight the ISholes then stick it to them by being the better person instead of walking into their trap of all out war against non-believers and Muslims. Don't let the terrorists win by making you afraid of yer own shadow, nut the fuck up.    

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Why Where You So Worried About Bombing Syria?

 This is Isis, she wishes that her parents had named her something better like Destiny. 

I like to get updates on how the fight against the Daeshbags is going so the Coalition Unit for Non- Terrestrial Support keeps sending me e-mails to let me know how things are going as Old Knudsen is always on DEFCON 4 and ready to act. Assuming that someone can pick up me medication Old Knudsen is ready to leave and go on a mission at any time .... Oh and a lift to the airport too. 

The military jargon can be a little difficult to understand at times so I'm giving you SG-19 level 7 clearance to read this post so I can explain some of it .... no need to thank me it's Christmas.   

 Any trained eye can see that this hospital was really a base for terrorists.

Military Strikes Continue Against ISIL Terrorists in Syria and Iraq .... Meaning they are using the old name to bug them and are just blowing up suspicious brown people, mostly males from ages 10 and up or whoever is in a building when a bomb hits it ..... We were blowing up the building, not our fault there were people in it.  
Just like how it's not Old Knudsen's fault that he stands and wanks at the window when the schools are getting out, maybe they need to change their times.

 Remember, our airstrikes are fucking well surgically precise. This strike can be compared to lipo suction on the NHS. 

Coalition military forces continued to attack ISIL terrorists in Syria and Iraq. In Syria, coalition military forces conducted seven strikes using attack and remotely piloted aircraft. Separately in Iraq, coalition military forces conducted 15 strikes coordinated with and in support of the Government of Iraq using fighter, bomber, attack and remotely piloted aircraft against ISIL targets.

So they used drones, fighters and bombers for instant surprise attacks. Ground intel is difficult to get so probably a lot was done by watching from the air via drones and satellites as well as GPS on phones .. and guessing .... a lot of guessing.  

Near Abu Kamal, one strike struck an ISIL tactical unit. A tactical unit is a place that can be instantly used to organise attacks from. A civvie might see people out enjoying ice-cream on a hot Syrian night but a trained eye sees TERRORISTS!!!!!! Check out the look out up top. Ice-cream in the desert indeed.

Near Ar Raqqah, two strikes struck two separate ISIL tactical units and destroyed two ISIL vehicles and wounded two ISIL fighters. So maybe a nail salon and a bookstore full of TERRORISTS were destroyed, the only books they sell in Raqqa is the Koran and the Quran and neither have pictures. 

ISIL vehicle = TOYOTA, mostly because the US gives the FSA those trucks who then pass them onto the Daeshbags when they join up. Wounded means still moving after the drone had fired its missiles.  

Near Ayn Isa, one strike struck a large ISIL tactical unit and destroyed seven ISIL buildings. So that was probably a Supermarket and what are ISIL buildings? If you look closely you can see IS building written in Sandsavage above the door, luckily our drones can read. An ISIL building is somewhere that the ISholes like to throw people from and where they can rape Christian children at. If we destroy all their buildings then we stop their activities ... simple military tactics. 

 The US military making a fighting position. 
 Near Manbij, one strike struck an ISIL tactical unit and destroyed an ISIL fighting position. So this was a barber's shop that was being used as a tactical unit and to give haircuts ... I hope it wasn't a Turkish barber, do they even have those there?
A fighting position may look like a hole in the ground but the difference is that they are full of TERRORISTS!!!! .... only the ones we bomb. If someone is running to escape from the bombing then they are obviously TERRORISTS!!! and if they jump into a ditch then that becomes a fighting position and makes for a better read in the reports. 

Near Mar’a, two strikes struck two separate ISIL tactical units and destroyed an ISIL staging area and damaged two others. Why yes, sometimes the military do make up place names if they don't have a clue where they are. We're going tomara, nat today, oh .. ok then.  Two separate tactical units probably means two corner shops obviously on different corners. A staging area is where the ISholes like to give concerts. Here is Ali Baghdadi belting out some power ballads for the troops. "Lady in in reeeedddd, she's dancing with me .... we are married but not dancing in public ..... cheek to cheek .... though her face is still covered as to the will of Allah all praise him .... no body here, just you and me, that's where I want to be ..... except when I'm killing infidels of course. "

Now it's time to get jiggy with Allah .... a la la la la lah .... gettin jiggy wit it. 
They try to hide their minarets but we be smarter. 

Near Fallujah, two strikes struck an ISIL tactical unit and destroyed two ISIL vehicle borne improvised explosive device (VBIED) facilities, two ISIL staging locations, and five ISIL buildings. By now you should know the score. VBIED means vehicle-borne improvised explosive device, you can tell which cars are rigged with explosives because when you fire a missile at them they explode. The facilities are called mechanic garages in the west and mostly VW's and Fords are used for bombs since they don't run as good as TOYOTA's .

Near Mosul, one strike struck an ISIL tactical unit and destroyed an ISIL bunker. A bunker is another name for a basement, if we destroy all the places then ISIL will be forced into being homeless and I'm sure you can agree that it's far more easy to ignore a homeless problem than a terrorist one.

 I think this location has been effected. 

A strike, is defined as one or more kinetic events (bombing) that occur in roughly the same geographic location to produce a single, sometimes cumulative effect for that location. What a professional way of saying a strike is when you bomb the fuck out of somewhere until there isn't much left.

The aim is to hurt the Daeshbags so that they can't carry out attacks. One of them was heard to complain about his chips being cold while another complained that this will be the most miserable Christmas ever unless they get some halal gravy granules in.

So we are winning!  

Coalition nations which have conducted strikes in Iraq include Australia, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, France, Jordan, Netherlands, the United Kingdom, and the United States.

Coalition nations which have conducted strikes in Syria include Australia, Bahrain, Canada, France, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, the United Kingdom, and the United States.