Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Upgrades For The Poor

Lets face it poor people are not very nice to look at and make the cuntry look so untidy. Prince Charles and Princess Camilla inspected the government's latest employment scheme that targets the poor long term unemployed and disabled to get them back into the work place.

A cybertronic upgrade will enable users to become a valued member of society rather than a burden. Have you ever saw someone in a wheelchair and said, 'look at that lazy bugger, can't even be arsed to walk' ....... I'm sure you have, haven't we all?

With a cyber suit they will receive external motivation via free WiFi from a command center that will do away with excuses like, 'I'm blind' or 'I have Multiple sclerosis' and the user will want to do tasks set by them in order to repay society for all the trouble they've caused by getting terminally ill or losing their legs in Afghanistan.  

The best news is that children of underachieving parents can be assessed and fast tracked into the system too in order to save on a wasted education and health care.

A study has shown that 96% of children from low income families have the reason, logic and critical thinking abilities of a retarded chimpanzee and that within 2 months of leaving school they will have forgotten everything that was taught to them. 

Why give them rights and free will if they are going to waste it right?  

The royal couple seemed most impressed, especially with how shiny the cyber units were. A non-sexist, non-racist and non-discriminating way to deal with all the immigrants, single mothers and other loafers. 

A bright and shiny future could be yours .... and will be yours unless you buck up. 

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