Monday, 29 December 2014

The Possession Of Michael King

You know that I could never hurt you honey, and what I mean by never I really mean probably will.

I shall review the movie The Possession of Michael King because it touches upon some social taboos that are still stupidly in place within our society.  It's the 21st century but oh no we still have issues about being in the body of someone else without consent and incest. 

No one likes to talk about incest, they would rather just avoid discussing it as it makes them feel uncomfortable, well that was the impression I got from the cashier at Tesco and then the security guard the other day. 

Michael King is a documentary film maker who lives in LA in a very nice hoose. His wife was killed in an accident. A psychic medium had told her not to go on a trip because her big break was gonna come soon. Sure her big break was yon SUV driving into her head at speed but Michael thinks that the advice given to her from the psychic killed her and so he was going to prove there is no such thing as the supernatural or paranormal. 
Michael who is an atheist has a young daughter Ellie and his sister is staying with them to help out or it would be one big single parent baby sitting movie. 

He first visits a priest who tells him that while the Catholic church doesn't do possessions, he himself was the go to priest that actually did them in what was an open secret ..... He had no proof of the 
supernatural, just stories.   

After trying a demon summoning kit online which didn't summon shit he paid a demonologist couple to do a ritual for him. They gave him LSD, got him to jizz in a cup then strapped him to a wooden cross in the basement and did it doggy style while wearing masks and chanting while Michael lay there freaking out. 

Daddy I had a bad dream about a monster .... the monster was you Daddy. Don't worry Ellie, now get to bed, I'll be up to fuck you in, er I mean tuck you in.  

So after he comes doon from his LSD trip he meets up with a necromancer who sows a dead person's teeth onto his stomach and gets him to smoke some DMT taken from a  psychedelic frog. The ritual gets interrupted by the police and Michael is left with yet another bad trip .... Dude where's my car?

 Is it any wonder that Michael starts to hear noises in his head and can't sleep? 

Now I'm not saying that demonic possessions are real considering in real life they only seem to happen to extremely religious people to begin with. Those people have already shown that they are highly open to suggestion, are very gullible and not too bright or introspective ... aye, God botherers.

If like Michael you start to dabble in the dark arts or even in the less dark arts but have a mocking yeah right attitude then do not be surprised when you find that you've insulted a spirit or a demon and have gotten someones attention that you really should not have met spiritual eye contact with. 

As with people there are good and bad beings or spirits and even the good ones can have a bad day so don't be surprised when you mockingly invite something into yer life without having set up the proper protection first and it fucks you up or someone even more vulnerable who is in yer home like a child .... not a smart move Michael.  

So Michael in one of his manic states in which anything goes kills the family dog and puts it in his young daughter's bed .... a dream catcher would have been better for her nightmares but what do I know? 

He also finds out that his camel toe laden sister takes sleeping pills and that you can put yer hand right into her gunties and she doesn't wake up ... Which is an immoral thing to do, in some cultures. Unless yer sister is insanely hot or something cos then she is asking for it. 

Melissa Young aged 37 from Edinburgh was sentenced to serve at least 20 years before parole is considered. She was arrested for the fatal stabbing of her neighbour on Christmas day in 2013. She had given him a present of a pair of unisex trainers and a copy of the Sun newspaper's 2014 calendar but he rejected them .... la de dah, fucking Daily Express reader no doubt. 

She saw a bright light and heard voices in her head before she flipped and stabbed her neighbour 29 times. Young with the tasteful tattoos of the Virgin Mary on one arm and Lucifer on the other said the Archangel Saint Michael had taken over her body and used her as an instrument of God to punish the unclean demon.
And still they put her away? I would have thought that was the perfect reason for the season ... of death. She said that if he had accepted the gifts from her she would not have stabbed him.

Ungrateful bastard, children in Africa would love a Sun newspaper calendar ... well maybe not. The Sun doesn't objectify weemen with its tits on page 3, it gives plastic surgeons much needed income and serves as a rite of passage for many a young boy as his gateway onto porn. Tits in newspapers is classy as fuck. 

So spirits and Angels are possessing people all the time. Well experts say that Young had a mental illness. Bad spirits can take advantage of that or can feed off yer depression, just because they say they are Archangel George Michael or whatever that doesn't mean that they really are. People in mental distress give off signals like a beacon for the boogeymen to take advantage of. 

If you carve a 5 pointed star into yer flesh for protection, don't make it upside doon ... doh! 

Not to spoil the movie for you but Michael gets taken over because his grief, all those lovely drugs and the insomnia which left him open and vulnerable, he was double dog daring evil beings to prove they existed and they turned up. 
The noises he was hearing were the Angels trying to drown out the voice of the demon Bahamgore, Commander of 37 legions, seeker of the defenseless, the weak-spirited, the non-believer. Known also as the destroyer of thought, breeder of ants, spotter of trains and stealer of children.  

 Yer movie is shite, too many cliches!

Stoopid Angels, why couldn't they have let him get some shut eye instead of making more noises in his head? His dead wife was also trying to help him but he was too into wanting to find proof of evil so therefore there he would know that good also exists. 

Not great logic but he missed his wife and what does an atheist have to turn to? You don't get much comfort from being smug ya know. Atheists, too busy arguing about fairy tales that they have just as much proof of God not existing as the God botherers have that he does exist. 

If a tree falls in a forest but there is no one around to hear it fall, that means yer still a fuck wit. 

This movie is a cautionary tale to not be a smug shite who has decided that all that woo is fake or just primitive superstitious fear. Just because you can't hear the tree speak, doesn't mean it isn't talking to you .... again with the trees and yer still a fuck wit. 

It's bloody, has jump scares and a few gross out moments, it's rather silly and was probably just all doon to the drugs. On the bright side if you are fat you'll have less of a chance of being possessed as you never see fat blokes carving into their chests and their faces aren't angular enough to be scary when under spooky lighting.  

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