Friday, 17 October 2014

When Was Jesus Actually Born?

Jesus H Christ, not born of original sin but rather deity rape ... Odin and Zeus did that often too. 
The Belfast Telegraph posted a letter from a crazy fucking Bible thumper bloke in Bangor about when the birthday of Jesus really was. As I read what this crazy individual was saying I was glad that I wasn't a world leader in charge of nukes as Bangor certainly would have gotten one. He starts of his letter. 

CHRISTMAS seems to be assaulting the senses even earlier each year, as media outlets vie to promote the season as soon as the summer months begin to wane.

Yes assaulting the senses with yer fucking Gog bothering, that's because we don't know how to do Halloween properly. Kids going around houses usually have intimidation on their minds as they cover their faces with the hoods and masks they use for flegging when they brick the police.

I haven't seen any media outlets go on about it unless you count this crazy assed letter in the paper but then that would be a self fulfilling prophecy type thing. I WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT CHRISTMAS BEING TALKED ABOUT EARLIER AN EARLIER EVERY YEAR! 

We have Halloween and Christmas stuff on the shop shelves at the same time, look at the price of that, my senses are well assaulted. 

We also don't have Thanksgiving because we're a load of ungrateful fuckers, what is there to be thankful about? the government doesn't give me enough in benefits to keep me thankful all the time, I can usually only afford to be grateful a few times a week with a bottle of beat the wife and a bag of glue.
I'd be all for Thanksgiving if the Doctor would up me pain meds and stop holding back the good shit.

Christmas' or 'Christ's Mass' is the celebration of Christ's birth in the Western hemisphere, whereas the Eastern and Orthodox churches mark it on January 7. So who is correct?

Error in logic, why do you assume that either is correct? instead of saying So who is correct you should have said what the fuck? I think that Australia also celebrates it too, are they west or east?  

By the fourth century, the celebration by non-Jewish (or Gentile) Christians of the "Mass of Christ" to mark the birth of Jesus became the norm as the congregations became increasingly Gentile.

The norm?  In the 4th century the various sects didn't have a norm, they were getting their scripture from all over the place and as any history buff knows, a lot of Christianity has been stolen and changed from Pagan beliefs. The Roman Emperor Constantine the Great needed to unite all the churches in order to unify what was left of the Roman Empire so he got the various Christian leaders to agreed on what was the word of God .... what was holy canon.

He got these holy men (cos women get a say in fuck all) together at the Council of Nicaea, they weren't doing it for their own good, he paid them and they all voted on what words came from God and what didn't. A lot of stuff got left out, does that mean then that Christians don't have all the words of God and so are wrong? ... looks that way.

The norm you say?  

 Just like my hoose at Christmas. 

This distanced the church from Jewish teaching and the significance of the biblical feasts that Jesus celebrated. One such is the Feast of Tabernacles. This recalls the exodus of the Israelites as they made their way from Egypt into the Promised Land and lived for 40 years in makeshift dwellings.
When this celebration falls in September/October, Jewish homes around the world are decorated much in the way Christians decorate their homes for Christmas.

Well the Romans who ran the show were Pagan but Christians were gaining ground as it was easy to incorporate Pagan celebrations into Christianity so it wasn't a big stretch. Judaism was and still is a tight knit selective club to get into and if you liked having yer foreskin then it must have seemed quite weird.
I agree with some of this bit but it had more to do with Pagan celebrations that focused around nature.

Greek culture was horrified that anyone namely the Colchians, Ethiopians, Phoenicians, Syrians, and Macrones, as well as Egyptian priesthood would circumcise themselves and put it down to primitiveness, barbarity, backwardness, superstition, and oppression ...  when they are right they are right.
The Romans didn't like it either and if a slave owner got circumcised and had his slaves done also he'd be sent to an island in exile and all his land and property taken. Looks like Christianity was just a more um civilised form of Judaism, sort of the anti-Judaism as not everyone can be into that shit and the Romans didn't really like the Jews much as they could never really control them.  

Like voting UKIP, Christianity was a protest vote.

Genital mutilation is serious shit and any God that wants my willy skin can fuck off.

4th century Jews had tinsel cos they ruled the world.

Yes the Jews do put up decoration but you want to compare it to Christmas decorations? Most of our ideas for Christmas decoration came from the Pagan Germans. The Jews (out in the desert) set up a makeshift shack and hung some gourds up so they could party .... no evergreen pine trees there.  They celebrate several things like the coming out of the desert after 40 years (still don't know why they wandered for 40 years, people usually call that being a nomad) they also celebrate the harvest just like everyone did back then as the harvest kept them alive during the winter months it wasn't just a cute pumpkin fest. They also put in the end of the Torah reading cycle and this Feast of Tabernacles would last for 8 days or 9 days, something like that which our friend from Bangor didn't mention.     
From my own studies, I believe Yeshua (Jesus) was born on the first day of Tabernacles. Tabernacles this year begins on '15th Tishrei'. This means Yeshua's birthday fell yesterday, Thursday, October 9.
Bangor, Co Down

 Emperor Constantine had a dream.

Yer own studies seem to have missed quite a bit, this was sent in by letter, do you even have the Internet? We'll soon see as I bet he Googles himself, seems the type.

Yet again must I say how Jesus' birthday was decided because it's the winter solstice. It was decided to offset the celebrations of  Saturnalia and Natalis Invicti which were Pagan celebrations because guiding Pagans to Christianity is easier than guiding Jews.

It's the rebirth of the sun God not the birth of the son of God, now Mr Nevin which one sounds more feasible? The whole, 'well the Jews put up decorations' is a bit of a stretch .

So if you go for the 25 DEC then Jesus was a Capricorn which made him a hard worker, generous with his time and money but a bit of an elitist and a control freak, that sounds right. Being on the cusp of Sagittarius he could swing from  extreme optimism to dull despondency and since he hasn't returned to Earth after promising to do so he probably has that Sagittarius love of procrastination .

On 9th OCT he'd be Libra which would make him a real people person who likes the surprises that life throws at him  .... surprise! the Jews don't like you and got the Romans to torture you to death and yer holy rapist Da let them, hope you liked that one.

Like Joan of Arc I think if Jesus did exist he'd have mental issues, yes my dad is up there on a cloud judging you. 

Emperor Constantine decided not to persecute Christians the way his father had as it didn't work so he embraced them. Christianity seems to be what kept him in power and dreaming that a slant cross painted on armour and shields that could make him victorious in battle is a good story and he tells it well. Signs for protection, so very Pagan.

So this Pagan Roman Emperor commissioned Christians to come up with the word of God and then used that as his brand, he even converted to show he had brand loyalty. There is nothing in the Bible that says when Jesus was born, from 200 AD onwards it's been celebrated in January, April and May, the latter having been confused with God's gift to weemen .... Old Knudsen.

If you do yer own studies into it then you've probably got too much time on yer hands, when was Santa's birthday ? What about King Arthur, Robin Hood, King Kong or Sherlock Holmes .... did they have birthdays too?

I won't argue which date it is since that would be stupid, I'd look like a right Nevin but what kind of cunt would you be if you told yer kids no presents for Christmas as it's the wrong date (in my drug addled mind) and seriously Christmas is about buying people shit they don't want and to assault yer senses with drink.


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