Thursday, 18 September 2014

Kanye West The New Messiah?

Ken Naughton had won 2 tickets to a Kanye West concert, he wasn't very keen on going but his mother who is a big fan insisted. "I wasn't too fused really, I prefer the likes of One direction, The Vamps and of course J Cats, it was me mum who wanted to go."  

Because Naughton has been in a wheelchair for most of his adult due to severe obesity apathetic syndrome he doesn't get out much. Rolling doon to their local KFC every day and then over to the chinkies later on is about it. His only friends are pizza delivery drivers.

 If he is the new Messiah should we not then torture him and nail him to a cross?

While singing his jaunty hit song Good Life, West told the whole crowd to get up and dance. West who describes himself as a married, Christian man with a family stood on stage refusing to continue until everyone had risen. 

Naughton who was feeling slightly uncomfortable as the other fans glared at him was encouraged to stand by his mother who said, "I knew you'd spoil this for me, you've spoiled my whole life even since that day you came crawling out of me tutting and rolling your eyes and going through my purse for money."   

All of a sudden he felt a warm wet sensation, "It must have been a Kanye West miracle cos I was out of me chair body popping away."   

Kanye West has performed other miracles in his time such as turning ego into a career and fathering a child without ever having sex. The rapper later commented, "Disabled people are lazy ... far worse than any brother and that's saying something, you just have to give them encouragement straight from God."   

Did this miracle make a fan of Naughton? After having recovered from a suspected heart attack he said that the concert was rather naff but ok cos it was free.   

 After all these long-ass verses
I'm tired, you tired, Jesus wept.

No comments: