Monday, 1 September 2014

Hunting Evil

The old house on Bailey street must have been grand in it's day, hell it still looked pretty impressive today. No one passing by knew what great evil lies within but now and again you can see people spin their head around startled as if something had jumped into their peripheral vision only to have them look sheepish that nothing is there and then think 'I hope no one saw my spas out moment.'

For 2 years I had been living out of my car, an Oldsmobile Delta 88, roomy enough for a family of 10 to live in however it would be great if they cleaned the inside first. You could profile my life from the various stains to be found, yes I do eat a lot of fast food in the car as I'm always watching.
Yes I did used to drink beer until I found out how difficult it is to drink and drive, now I drink whiskey from a flask and yes sometimes I can't be arsed going outside for a pee .... hence the wide mouthed bottle.

Two years ago I watched those monsters destroy my family, they made me watch. Only the dawn and them thinking that my wounds would kill me kept them from finishing me off.

What happened over the 72 hours after that night was nothing short of miraculous. On the brink of death my body just stopped dying, I felt strong and alert. I knew those monsters had infected me as I had a more than usual thirst for blood. I refused to feed, I was going to be the master of this ... well ok I had a little, just enough to wet my whistle.

Hot chicks making out.

I don't know why the infection didn't consume me as it had Father Murphy, the local sheriff  and most of the town of Sleepy meadow. I was stronger, faster and could fly .... no not really but that would have been fucking cool as I flew around bedroom windies looking at hot chicks making out. Hey I just lost my family, it's how I grieve, don't judge me.    

I couldn't let the towns folk infect anywhere else, Wolf lake was only 5 miles away and they had enough problems on a normal day. I can't quite put my finger on what their problem is, people go missing usually around the time of the full moon, could be a Satanic cult or something, the only thing we find are some clothes lying around and no human tracks at all just wolf .... very odd. 

I sat slouched low in my car across from the hoose, the old one was in there I could feel it. Its daytime caretaker moved from window to window and wandered into the garden at times with a watering can. I'm surprised those roses haven't wilted with the amount of water on them I think he doesn't like me parking here, he looked nervous.

I gotta make my move soon. When lurch goes over to the outside faucet to fill up again I grab my bag of gear and swiftly make my way the long way to the back of the hoose cutting through a neighbour's yard.  
The back door to the kitchen was locked but my picking skills soon opened it with a satisfying click. My heighten sense of smell could tell it was chilli night, maybe because it was simmering away on the stove, hmmm not bad, obviously made with beef right?
I added more salt because is it me or does no one use enough salt? ..... and ketchup.  I could eat this whole thing but I had a mission and the fate of the world was in jeopardy, oh look some crusty bread, these evil guardians sure eat well, it was at the point where I didn't really care if it was beef or not.

I'll have to get the recipe before I cut his head off.

I moved out of the kitchen and over to the door under the stairs that led to the basement. The light was out so I used my small flashlight on the stairs going doon. 

In the pitch darkness I could smell the evil .... must have been the chilli, I carefully walked through the darkness towards a large rectangular box ... a coffin maybe?

I lifted the lid and what I saw inside turned me hair white ... not the hair on me head, this was seriously scary.

Amongst the polystyrene peanuts were articles of pure evil that had to be destroyed for the sake of the world, Thomas Kincade plates with ugly ass snow covered roofs and bleary lights in the darkness looking all quaint.  

Art with a capital F.

The old one was not here, just examples of his evil. I destroyed then thus saving someone from getting a gog awful Christmas present.

The noise alerted the guardian who stood at the top of the stairs trying to peer into the gloom. He made some empty threat about calling the police, he wouldn't have risked the police unless they were servants of evil too.

I raced up the stairs with my trusty short sword and took off his head in one powerful sweep, it bounced doon the stairs to the darkness below.

My work was done and just in time too as dusk had come, the evil of the world is strong in the darkness and I doubt I would have been able to complete my task.

Oh time for some more chilli, hunting evil always made me hungry, so did me tape worm. Another dead end in search of the old one, maybe I should have some kind of system than just picking hooses at random. 

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