Thursday, 28 August 2014

The Truth About Area 51

I first became aware of Area 51 in 1946, that was the year before they found the crashed space ship from the faction who foolishly rebelled against our present Overlords. I was working with our newly found allies the Nazis on a program that would take famous people from history and reproduce them today.

Why would anyone do that? Well wouldn't it be great if the world had another Lincoln or Gandhi? Yeah maybe not Gandhi, he was a bit too radical with all that talk of peaceful protest, who the fuck gets anywhere with peaceful protest? ... Yeah well they did get the British out of India the ungrateful bastards, the next time we'll let the Japs get through Burma, then you'll be sorry.

We were able to dig Abraham Lincoln up and with Nazi know how and technology from the Greys we made a copy. Did he rise to power after being given the best education possible? .... Nope he just couldn't be bothered and looked just too odd.

 John Kerry challenges Hilary Clinton to an arm wrestle ... he lost.

Wildcard George Washington got a second go as John Kerry. Who would have guessed that a failed soldier and famous traitor to the crown would be such a useless, dithering Secretary of State ?

Honest Abe wasn't as great as everyone says he was, sure he stopped the US from being over run by vampires but he was a bit of an egomaniac and tyrant worse than Obama or Bush have ever been .... not a crime, I'm just sayin like.
A math teacher who got fired when things didn't add up. 

After a failed career in teaching, Lincoln got a small office in the Pentagon and became a presidential adviser.
If you think that the things the US government does now are doon to Bush or Obama then think again.
Lincoln had his own Guantanamo, known as Camp Douglas, 1862 - 1865 the camp was intended to hold 6,000 Civil war prisoners but went on to hold 12,000. Not enough food, they fed prisoners rotting meat. Diseases like smallpox and malaria were pretty common and freezing conditions killed many. The rag heads at Gitmo should count their blessings, the Civil war POW's would have loved bacon with every meal.

Obama often speaks with Lincoln and never fails to mention in the media what an inspiration he was to him. However the Emancipation Proclamation only happened if he was to get the credit for it, one of his Generals declared thousands free when he took over South Carolina, Florida, and Georgia but Lincoln reversed that until he was good and ready some months later. Remember when you were told that you were free? .... Just kidding!

Lincoln also wanted rid of the blacks in America, free them sure but don't live near me. He really pushed for them to get shipped off  to remote colonies and saw smallpox and starvation as only little problems of this plan.

He really hated Native Americans and did one of the biggest land grabs in history kicking out the Navajos and Mescalero Apaches, forcing them to march 450 miles to a reservation/death camp so he could have New Mexico .... the railway was more important, see the Pacific Railway Act of 1862 .

Of course taking over and controlling the media isn't original, Lincoln had the military take over some main newspapers in 1864. During war anything goes, A Democrat who criticized Lincoln was arrested and deported to the south .... fuck yer free speech.   

He suspended habeas corpus which is the government having a reason for detaining someone ... sounds like the Patriot act to me.

History is repeating itself but it's not because of a lack of knowledge of it, it's because it's what we do and it's new to us. 

You can't blame the clone of course, a different environment growing up will produce a very different person but don't be so quick to dismiss genetics. Some people will be the same no matter what.

Another experiment we did was with Hitler. What if we prevented him from being a vegetarian and Austrian, would he have been so evil then?  When the US recruited many former Nazis into it's science programs we had the contacts we needed to convince Adolf (who was living in Argentina) to provide us with um, man custard material. 

He provided 2 pints of home made yogurt for the benefit of mankind. We had so many Hitlers that we just put them out for adoption.

Our best result was Dave from Leeds, a factory worker who lends his time to the next generation as a scout leader and who also enjoys the odd Big Mac or two with his grand kids.

We really did think that being a vegetarian was what caused the Holocaust but Dave insists that everything in the world can be solved by getting rid of the immigrants and going back to good old family values which he really believes in hence his three marriages.

Yes, Dave did vote UKIP and demonstrates that he certainly isn't a racist as the media have portrayed UKIP by protesting at his local Sainsbury's against selling Israeli friendly products.

"I'm not a racist, I'm just proud to be a white Englishman in God's chosen nation. The English people happen to be white, hey I didn't make up the rules, God did."

He is currently writing a book about his life which has been deeply affected by the British Boy Scout movement, look for it in the shops it's called My Camp.

What I have told you here is top secret and it the truth. Shady government agencies may try to discredit me by saying I'm a drunk, a drug addict, a rapist, a pedo, a murderer, mentally unstable ... don't believe them, well ok you can believe some of it maybe 98% but that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person when you get to know me or that all of this isn't true. 

As Lee Harvey Oswald said, "I'm just a patriot" aye they changed it to patsy and had him killed to shut him up. I still have his head which upon occasion comes back to life and tells me secrets, he told me who used microwaves to pop JFK's head and he doesn't like the X-Factor, he says that  Simon Cowell is creepy, when he's right he's right.



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